Ep 100: Celebrating 10 years and 100th podcast episode

“When you witness me in my vulnerability, that’s when the real magic happens” - celebrating 100 episodes and 10 years of partnership with raw truths about love, growth, and choosing each other again and again.

In this milestone episode, Meg and Jacob get cozy on their infamous Moroccan rug (yes, that $2500 investment that changed everything) to reflect on a decade of conscious partnership. From their first meeting at Ray Organics to becoming parents and podcast hosts, they share the intimate moments, sacred ceremonies, and everyday choices that have shaped their journey together.

This isn’t just another anniversary episode - it’s a deep dive into how 100 episodes of uncensored conversations and 10 years of devoted partnership have taught them what’s possible when you commit to seeing each other’s highest truth.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what’s possible when you allow love to evolve beyond your comfort zone. Get ready for deep insights, vulnerable shares, and practical wisdom about creating a partnership that keeps expanding.

They also riff off on:
• The art of witnessing each other’s evolution
• Why trust is an active practice in partnership
• How to support your partner’s expansion
• Creating safety for vulnerability
• The power of choosing each other daily
• Navigating different seasons of love
• Sacred sexuality and transcendent connection
• Their favorite moments from 100 episodes together
and so much more…

🔥 Love this episode? Don't forget to subscribe and share your thoughts in a review. We love hearing from our listeners!

🔥 Let's stay connected:
• Follow Meg: @the.meg.o
• Follow Jacob: @thejacoboneill
• Follow the podcast: @sexloveandeverythinginbetween

Check out our posts for the 100th episode giveaway!

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#sacredpartnership #consciousrelationships #intimacy #growth #trust #vulnerability #podcast #100episodes #10years

Transcript

1:07

Yes, and I think that is what a gift a relationship can be, is to be witnessed in your vulnerable moments and to let someone witness you in those vulnerable moments and let them see what it means to you. Yo yo, yo. Lovers. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between. We're the O'Neills. You're here with Megan Jacob, and this is the place we have really uncensored conversations about sex, intimacy and relationships. We're super excited you're here. Enjoy this episode. It's a 100th episode. It's a 100th episode. What do you love about me? Name 100 things, podcasting with you is number one. I have loved podcasting with you. We never fight before we film this podcast. We don't spend three hours processing. I don't feel like we've done it for emotions with that used to have it a lot, yeah, for those of you that have been around since the OG podcasting days almost two years ago now, we used to process a lot before podcasting. Podcasting with your partner, it's gonna be talking, hi everyone we are. It's so beautiful because actually starting a part time job as jinglers. We're gonna start jingle I think you would be phenomenal at that. Yes, are you called a jingle? I think you're just called a jingle Yes, a jingler. A jingler, okay? Because we go No. Jacob knows a lot more about the English, English, English language, English language. I want to, I want to publicly apologize for gaslighting live on podcast. I was very perturbed after hearing about my mistake. I was completely and utterly perturbed go back and listen to I think it's birth the Story Part Two. I'd rather forget about it, but that is a great episode. I had so many messages from you where you'd screenshot the definition of unperturbed? Yes, yeah, I take full responsibility. I'm a man that's willing to admit that he's wrong. I was wrong after gaslighting you. And yes, but I will now be known as Jacob the jingler. Okay, Jacob the jingler. So this is our 100th episode, if you didn't already realize, and a few days ago was our 10 year anniversary, yes, of being together, not our 10 year wedding anniversary. Married for two years, two years, but 10 years together, lady. So we thought we would celebrate our 100th episode by also celebrating our 10 years together. Only seems right, yes, and bring you an episode where we're reflecting and bringing you, yeah, reflections. And I don't want to say lessons, or are they going to be less there's definitely lessons, reflections and lessons from 10 years together, a decade together. How wild. That's crazy. We had family over for the weekend, and my nan and pop, I've got all four grandparents still, right? This is pretty cool. And my nan and pop, and also my granny and pappy, they're still all alive, and they're still married. They all got married on the same day. Yeah, yep. So they didn't marry all as a foursome. Obviously, that would be a bit weird, but my nan and pop got married, and then my granny and pappy got married on the same day. And I think they're up to, like, 63 years married, or something like that, 60. So they've been together, and they got married pretty quick. You know, they don't. They didn't mess around. Back in those days, commitment was not a there was no avoidant attachment style back then. It was all anxious attachment styles. I definitely think there was avoidant attachment, but I think it played out more emotionally than in the commitment of marriage. I think it was very easy to commit to marriage, showing up in that marriage, very different story. But yeah, they've been together 60 I'm just gonna say 65 years. I'm gonna throw that yeah, as a as a guest out there. Yeah, 64 probably is a bit 63 I'm gonna go with 63 I'm gonna back to my original 63 years. Like that's six, over six times longer than we've been together. I know that is to think about that, because this is actually the first piece I want to bring to bring to this conversation that and we were reflecting on this together, we went to Byron Bay for for our anniversary, day off. Went to Byron Bay together. We did we love Byron Bay, and we took our son, and it was so beautiful, and our son had his first swim in the tea tree, the tea tree lakes, and it. So beautiful to our favorite book shop. And, you know, we had plans to like because on our first year wedding anniversary, we had all of these questions that we filled out together and reflected on, and I've got them in a little like Time Capsule box. We didn't get to do that on our second one wedding anniversary because he was, like, three days old, yeah. And then we thought we would do that on our 10 year anniversary, but with a baby, it's you can't really do things. Just like plan to do something and then do it. It was very useful in terms of, like, we got to walk around. We got to go to all our favorite places by actually sitting down and writing and that. So we asked each other questions, though, when we were at the tea tree lakes and then in the car, and it was really beautiful. And probably had like and like what I said to the guys, I went surfing with the guys last Friday, and I said, said to Pete, I said, it's amazing that I'm still learning about myself in this relationship. Like we had a really beautiful conversation, and I was like, wow, there's still parts of me that I'm I'm discovering in this relationship, that I'm bringing to the that I'm bringing to the world, that I'm bringing to you. And that's I'm like, wow. Like, how cool is it that even 10 years in, we're still, we're still learning, we're still growing, we're still finding parts of ourselves. Yeah, and I, I yeah, that we had such a beautiful I was going to take the conversation somewhere else, but I want to stay there. That was so beautiful, like in the car when we pulled up at the service station, and like, we were there was, like, something that you brought. Because I think the question was, I asked you, what's what do you see? What would you love more of in our relationship over the next decade? And you shared like nourishment. You'd love to feel like nourished. And then the conversation went deeper and went to other places, and it was like a part of you, I don't think you'd even, maybe even let yourself acknowledge in your own being. But also it was like the best information for me, like 10 years in, and I was like seeing, seeing this new desire, but from from a different light. And it was just so beautiful, because, again, it's like we're 10 years in. It would be such a mistake to think we knew everything about each other, or that we knew exactly what the other person needed or wanted, yeah, and that's like, that is so it almost feels so rich. It's like, ah, there's still, there's still gold here, there's still more, there's this, there's going to be more, and there is more and but it was nice to feel that on such a special day. And I think this is where I wanted to take the conversation before, is that over these 10 years, there has been so many iterations of us, like as individuals, as you see from the photos Meg posted, yes, if you haven't seen the photos, everyone was like, is that, Jacob? Oh my gosh, it looks sick. You look very different without a beard, and you just have 20 kilos lighter, because all I do is eat vegan, yeah. So yeah, you look very different. And yeah, there's been many iterations of us as individuals in this 10 years, but many iterations of our like Union and our dynamic, like our dynamic, has shifted so much through that time. And what I love, what you said about, like your grandparents still being together, and you know, all of them still being alive. Like, what? How many more iterations of us is there going to be, yeah, how many more? Like as individuals, but, but as a couple? Like, what growth still awaits us? What learning still await us? How are we going to evolve together? Yeah, and I think no relationship style is perfect, but when you really choose something because you believe in it, it's becomes this opportunity of like, whoa, what? Yeah, like, exactly what you said. What's waiting for us in the next 1020, 3040, 5060, years of relating, considering that the last 10 years, there's been so many iterations of our relationship and ourselves as individuals, that's, that's what comes from, you know, the choosing this on such a deep level and that that excites me. It's like it's no longer about I'm going to be with the same person for the rest of my life. How boring. So I'm going to be with so many different versions of this person, and that person is going to get to be with so many different versions of me. Therefore, our relationship is destined to become a ongoing, involving experience for both of us, which is so exciting. It now it's not this fixed thing that slowly dies or slowly suffers, is this living, breathing thing that we're constantly engaging with, and that's exciting, yeah. And I think, if, I think, if people saw, if people could understand, or. Be that and implement that in their lives with a relationship, it would be so life giving. It does require vulnerability, of course, and openness, but that, for me, is like such a cool it's such a cool way of looking at it and not, not something I was taught. Yeah, and I think there's two pieces to this that I'm seeing. It's like that to experience that, to experience like you're forever learning your partner and getting to experience like this, this newness and these different textures and layers and depth and width of your partner. There's two things there. One, as individuals, you have to be devoted to your own growth and your own evolution constantly, like meeting your edges and expanding. And then secondly, I think when we relate, when you relate to your partner, you've got to be devoted to not holding them in who you believe they are. Does that make sense? It's like, you can't hold them in the energetic of, I know you, or you're always this kind of guy, especially in things that you know, patterns that your partner might be wanting to expand past and evolve through. And you've got to release the grip of, like, holding them in who you think they are. Yeah, and that's the only way that you can experience different versions of your partner. You have to allow them to grow. You have to allow yourself to perceive them and witness them and experience them in a different way. And I think that's been sorry. I think that's been like our experience time and time and time and time again, like when I think of the man I met at Ray organics when we met, like, over a decade now ago, now, like, there's still so many parts of you then that were very present, like now, like so many parts of you that are just like your core, like your your kindness, your open heartedness, your ability to just speak to anyone, and just like you Know, you know, be yourself and all these different things, but also at the same time, you are, you are, you are completely different. Human in the world massively you are, you are carrier. You carry yourself so differently. You you inject yourself into a space so differently. You are felt so differently. The way you make moves in the world is so fucking different. Like, yeah, you were just honestly a completely different human. And that's been, you know, that's been so beautiful to witness. But also, yeah, I just think there's that, like, yeah, that allowing our partner to to to be that and to change is a is a process. The i My feeling is that what, what I believe about you, has a very, very can either have a really positive or negative effect on how you what you believe about yourself. We're very if you're in an intimate relationship with another person, of course, how you feel about them or what you believe about them is going to influence them. So what I the way that you're saying all of those things, which is like the way, if I was to sum it up, is like you really accepted me for who I was, and then you were able to see who I was becoming. And that is a beautiful skill to have in a relationship, because it means, okay, I love you and I'm excited to go on this journey with you, and I'm not going to hide, I'm not going to hide my excitement for who you're becoming. I'm going to be and I'm going to and if you bring something to me that you're that you want to explore, I'm going to support you and also trust that you know whatever happens, whether it's the most amazing result or it's a complete flop, you know you're still going to be you. And I think that's what's allowed these, this maturation of both of us over the past 10 years, is that I, even though I might not have known it on a deep level or consciously understood it, is that there was a level of acceptance and a level of excitement for what's to come. And I think that's such a beautiful, a beautiful blend for anyone that wants to deepen in relationship which, which I didn't know I wanted until I realized the blessing that comes with it. Yeah, I think I was very much. I think one of my things that this, this this relationship has given me is like possibility. Before I thought I had to, I could only fit one kind of, one way of living, and then it feels like having this, like being able to sit here on our couch podcast with you on a Monday after being for a surf, and we're about to go and, you know, hang out, and I'm about to roll jets. It's like this life didn't I didn't know that this life could exist. So I think there's a level of when you when you start to move in this way, like possibility, and you become excited for what's to come, rather than, Oh, it's just another day with the same woman, the same the same day. It's not like that anymore. And same. Like the bubbly, bright eyed, big glasses and, you know, enthusiastic sweet potato eating, coconut milk drinking, woman that you were like us, there's still so much of who you were in that moment that's here right now, but there's now a depth and a complexity to you that is so much more than I could have ever imagined in a woman. You like that. Yeah, and I feel like I can be with the depth and complexity of you because of our relationship and how we support each other, and finished 10 years I think there's like a paradox. Let's go there. What I've noticed in our relationship over the last 10 years is I love that you just said that, like the depth of and complexity of like us as individuals has deepened and our relationship has gotten I don't know if it's more complex, but like deeper and wider, and maybe you'd say more complex, because it's like the diff We're bringing different parts of ourselves, but simultaneously, I feel our relationship has always been very simple, and we've always allowed our relationship to be simple. And I actually remember it was our first trip to Peru together. So we were maybe two years in, and we went on, you know, we went on this, like, three or four week medicine pill pilgrimage with a whole lot of other people. That was the greatest trip of my life. I love that. Yeah, and one of the women, Robin, I don't know if she commented on one of my things recently, really Robin, I remember Robin said to us, or said to me one day, it was like, right at the end of the trip. So she would have witnessed us, you know, on the medicine and connecting with each other in between that and everything. And she came to me and she said, wow. And again, we're only two years into our relationship. Then Wow, you have you have taught watching you has taught me so much about how simple relationships get to be like and how easy your relationship looks. And I don't think it was easy. I'm really obsessed with the word easeful at the moment. Yeah, easy. So it's like, but she was just reflecting back this thing around like, wow, you're actually teaching me that that doesn't have to be so hard. And I think we've our relationship. I think this is one of I really love Chelsea Jo Huntsman and Oren really talk about like this blueprint your relationship has. And I think if we look at like the unique expression of our partnership, we have a blueprint for ease. There's a there's a part of our Blueprint is simplicity and ease. And I think this is a big part of what we're here to, to teach or reflect through our relationship is that it can be deep. You can hold so much of each other. You can traverse, you know, darkness, and you can traverse the complexities of life. And your relationship and your union is there to make those things feel more easeful, like you have always, from the very beginning, made My life feel easier. There's never, there's never been I yeah, sorry my body, did mommy scare you? Yeah, I maybe we scrapped that conversation because I don't feel like but do you for me? It's for me. It's that our relationship has never felt like a heavy thing that is making life harder. Yeah, it's not Yeah. I feel that our relationship has always given us an opportunity for like, like. For me, I would say like, easier, yeah. I haven't felt like the our relationship, hasn't I? How do I say this without sounding like I'm hard work? Yeah, I haven't been able to come and hide in my relationship from the work, from life, like I can't hide here and hide from what life wants to bring me like you. It is a safe space, but a safe space for me is where I can feel like the I can take the greatest risks. So I'd say that you've created safety for me to figure out who the fuck I am, and that is so important. So when you say easeful, I feel like it's safe is probably the right word, yes. I love Yes, and it's always felt okay, yeah, maybe scrap the easy. Easeful. Piece that I was saying, or the relationship has never, never felt hard. The relationship, for me, our union, has always felt like a place I could be myself, Yes, and that for me is, is the easiest parts of life, when when I come up against resistance, or things feel challenging, when there's parts of me that feel like I can't be fully myself, or I can't just, like, oh, rest into the space, or relax into the space, bringing the fullness of me and for me that having that in this relationship has meant that I've had to face up. I've had to confront all the things that I didn't want to which means it hasn't necessarily been easy, but it's been necessary. Like, this is what my soul came here to do. Yeah, so like, is I felt safe to do so. I felt safe to do the work necessary and take the risks and like I don't think another woman would would have, you know, I don't know if another woman would have been able to inspire me to take the leaps of faith that I have and fall on my face many times. And maybe there's more, you know, failures to come. And I'm okay with that, because I know that that's not going to stop us from exploring the depths that we're here to explore. It's okay, little man, I love that piece around, like, safety and risk taking, yeah, and for me, that's that's actually the scariest thing in the world is to, like, open up and actually feel the safety to be myself. And I think a lot of men who maybe have the, I think that is, like we've talked about this the I'm not enough for men, and I'm too much for women. Like that's if you find, you know, if you find yourself in a relationship where you have to face off with those things. You're you're in the right relationship. Yes, you're in the right relationship. You might want to run from it. Yeah, it's not hard. It's just, it's the Choose your hard piece. You know, people talk about the Choose your heart, and I think that's the piece I was speaking about before. It's like, when I feel like the hardness of relationship comes when you're not actually going to the depth, when you're fucking around, you know, complaining about the surface level shit or, like, not actually, not actually walking through the door of vulnerability to be able to liberate the pieces that you need to experience more depth and intimacy. It comes when you know you're holding on to the to the story, and you're not actually willing to open the heart and clear the channel and meet in a deeper place like that's when Relationships are hard, when the relationship is trying to initiate you both into a deeper level. But neither of you are going there, or only one of you is trying to go there, right? And that's the doorway into when and I really like I don't think I've spoken to this in this type of way before. Hello, my gorgeous boy. Hello, my gorgeous boy. Oh my gosh. Make sure you watch this on YouTube, beautiful little guy right now. Hello. I don't think I've ever spoken about this in this way before, or thought about it in this way before. But when, when I said before, there's, there's been many iterations of us, really, I think that means we have met many initiations and said yes to them as a couple like we've said, even six months into our relationship where I wasn't sure if this was true or right, or I didn't actually think you wanted to go where I wanted to go. We walked. I had that conversation. You met the discomfort of being with that you chose to recommit and re devote yourselves. And we we, we met a deeper level of our relationship because of that, and that's happened, you know, time and time and time again. Yeah, your relationship is going to put, you know, give you opportunities to, like, meet the meet at a crossroads of like, Hey, am I? Am I do I still want to do this, yeah? Or the other thing is, like, Hey, you're ready for an initiation, and right now, I'm not really needing to be initiated, but can I be with you must be your support, just like a division quest like you got you come and support for the four days that I'm questing like you get to be, we get to be that for each other. I remember when you signed up with a Shay, and I remember that being such a huge initiation for you, and something that, like I could tell that it was so it was, it was exactly what you needed to do. And, you know, didn't make sense to me at all from a financial perspective. However, it made sense of like, well, we're either going this way or this way. This way is contraction. This way is expansion. We're kind of committed to expansion if we're going to deepen. So hey, up, you know, and I remember that so vividly because I had to sort of like, take myself away and be like, yeah, no, I trust her. And even if this isn't, even if we don't get the desired outcome, we're going to get an outcome that gives us information to then make the next decision. And I love that you just brought the piece around. You trust. You trust. Trust me and you trusted me in that moment. I think that's been one of our greatest gifts as a couple, is and I've had to learn like this has been one of my most improved moments in our relationship. Would you say yes, most? What's it called most improved player? Or were like, you know, yeah, like, I used to try and control you, and I felt it felt uncomfortable to my nervous system. It felt unsafe when I didn't understand something you were doing. And I preferred, instead of practicing trusting you, I preferred to tell you not to do that and to do it my way, and that was probably the first half of our relationship. And I don't think it was as obvious, because you didn't, you weren't taking as big of risks and doing the weird, strange, crazy shit that you do a lot of in our relationship now, and just as a man now, but there was definitely an element of me not wanting to trust you and trusting you has become like an active practice. And I think it is trusting in partnership becomes an active practice, especially if you're someone that has trust issues or has been hurt before, or as a woman, maybe has a tendency to want to control your man and and, you know, so that you feel comfortable, trust is such an active practice, it is. And to be like, Oh, you want to go do that thing. Even when you did the first vision quest, it was like, you want to go sit on a mountain without drinking food, without drinking water or eating food, and no one's near you for three or four days, like, I did not really understand that, and that felt a little scary to me, and yet I trusted that you were being called to that place. And financial decisions we've made, like, you know, a lot of the time, a lot of financial decisions we've made in the expansion and growth space have not made fucking sense, no, but we've trusted each other to go, you're being called to that thing. You feel like this is fucking true for you do it. I'll back you. And those like, those been moments where that, like, those, like, there's, there's all of these micro initiatory moments, these, like, macro, initiatory moments. And every time we've, we've, I really feel we've asked, like, what's the actual like, what's the truth here? I think that's the thing you're talking about with beliefs. Like, I believe, I believe you are this versus I believe in you. And we're back. We back, all right. We might be doing that regularly, pausing coming back, yes, little boys on the boob, yeah, he's happy again. We were talking about trust and a few things, and I just wanted to, like, talk about, like, one of the moments I remember you like, supporting me and being excited for me in a moment of expansion. And it was when I bought the jacket and the jeans in Brisbane. I love that moment. Yeah, I love Okay, go on, because this is a really beautiful story. And I remember going, I remember we were, hey, we went, and we were looking at clothes and shopping for you. And I I'd kind of always loved clothes. And I kind of, for the years before, I kind of just let myself be an OP shopper, and I told myself that I don't like new things, and I'm just, you know, I'm a real thrifty person. I care about the environment all these things, and deep down, I love new clothes. I love really, really nice, high quality things. We went into this we went into Nudie Jeans, which is like a really beautiful brand, and I tried on, I think I tried on jeans first. No, did I let's try on a shirt? Was it the jacket first? No, the jacket hangs. I think it was the shirt. Remember there was a green shirt that I tried on? Yes, I remember that shirt. And then you were like, well, you need jeans to try on with it. So then I put on black jeans, and then I think, you passed in the jacket, yeah, and I, and I, like, literally, put it on, and I was like, in the in the change was like, I felt so much embarrassment, and I didn't want to show you, like, come out. Show me. Come out and show me I'm like, I don't want to, don't look me in the eyes. Don't even acknowledge me. And I think it was like a I think it was probably a part of me that felt selfish for wanting these things for myself, and I felt like I was being too indulgent, or I was being too I just wasn't it wasn't a very sensible thing to be entertaining purchasing these items. And I remember coming out and you being so excited for me. And I remember you saying, let me buy these for you for your birthday or for Christmas. Can't remember what time might have been for my birthday or something. I can't remember. And I remember being like, I think I actually have to buy these for myself. I think I have to buy myself. I think I have to spend this $1,100 On three items of clothing. And I Yes, and I remember being a bit intense at first, as usual, a bit but then I really realized, I don't even know if you said anything to me, you probably have a better memory than me. But I remember then realizing, oh, like you. This was a really big moment for you, and this is something I have learned about you, is that, yeah, when I make a big sometimes my thing is like, bring the energy. Let's make a big deal out of this. But actually, what's better for your nervous system is like, let's just, like, just I, yeah, it's almost like a foreplay thing. Yes. It's like, if I come in too hard and fast, it's almost like my nervous feels like, Yeah, I'm too much attention, yeah, yeah, and yeah. I just remember that being a really powerful like that was such a great weekend, and we had so many other great moments, but like that, buying those clothes was such a such a moment of like, acknowledging myself within our relationship and being witnessed acknowledging and choosing myself. And you could say that it's just clothes or it's just money, but for me, it was a real moment of like it was an act of self love, and it was almost like you witnessing me in that was very was was the most vulnerable thing. I think if I had have gone and bought those clothes on my own without you there, I would not have had the same experience, and I think that is what a gift a relationship can be, is to be witnessed in your vulnerable moments, and to let someone witness you in those vulnerable moments and let them see what it means to You. Yeah, and this has just brought to me something you actually said in our wedding vows around like I've taught you and I feel exactly the same. I've taught you to love the parts of you that you didn't feel were lovable. Yeah, because I've shown I haven't run and I haven't gone I don't love you anymore, or that's not acceptable. Yeah, so it's my love. And you know how people say, like you've got to love yourself fully before someone can love you or you can love someone else? I don't believe that. Yes, I feel like there is a certain level of consciousness that you have to have, an awareness, you have to have, not have to have, but is supportive to have to enter into a conscious relationship where you're able to, you know, receive deeply and experience deep love. But I actually believe part of the purpose of partnership is to shine your love on the places that your partner has not been taught they're allowed to love the places your partner has has been conditioned to believe aren't lovable or they feel shame around and this is you know that witnessing part you just said it's like, that's why being In relationship is so vulnerable because we bring those parts, and there's part of us that goes they're going to run from this. They're not going to love me in this. They're going to think this is ugly. They're going to they're going to remind me that this is shameful. And then when our partner loves that part of us, or just witnesses us without judgment, that's that is everything that is that is so deeply healing, so deeply healing and and that's what like and like, like we said, like, that's what creates a new inner and like, a new version of relationship that creates a new version of you and A new version of me, like it's itself. It's almost like self generating. It's self sustaining, when you continually give yourself give yourself permission to experience these moments. Oh, hey, young girl come Yeah, has there been any of those moments for you? Well, when many, oh, my God, has been like, yeah, so many, so many, so many, yeah. But I was just actually thinking about when I wanted to buy the rug. Yes, this is a great example. That was just so it was when I just started making money in my, like, for years I'd been in business and really not made any money at all. And it was the first few months of, like, really starting to, I think I probably had like, a 10k month or something, and maybe, like two in a row. And we had never bought nice things during our relationship. No, we'd always, especially not for the home, because, you know, we moved a beard and, like, we'd never bought nice things and none of it, neither of us are, like, incredibly, oh, my God, everything has to look esthetically beautiful. We're definitely not. We're not that people, those people at all. This is probably like, five years ago now. I. Yeah, I'd started to or four years ago, I'd started to make a bit of money, and I wanted to buy a rug for our home. And I remember looking and searching on. Became quite manic. I was searching and searching and searching for a rug, and I was my budget was, like, three or $400 and I just wanted a rug for this new home we'd moved into, and I'd spent, and I'm not, like, I remember spending like three I never researched shit. I'm not an online shopper, and I just spent like, three hours, like, looking for this fucking rug, and I couldn't find anything I liked. And I remember turning around. I remember exactly where I was. I was on the dining room table, and you're on the couch, and I remember turning around and being like, I probably, like, cried or something like, I can't find this rug. I think it's because I knew I really wanted to make an investment in our home, and then it was frustrating that I couldn't find something I liked. I think we were, like, learning about how important it was to, like, make at the home our place as well. We wanted to say, Hey, this is our home. Yeah. So I can not just the rug, obviously. So there's a deeper Oh my gosh. This was not just about the rug at all. This was like a whole initiation in itself. And then I remember saying that to you, or crying to you, and then you turned to me and were like, if you have any rug at all, what rug would you have? I was like, you're really nice. We're rugged ones that you're like, well, buy it, buy it. But would that be the rug that makes you very happy? Yes. And then you're like, we're gonna go to that shop tomorrow. And so I went to the shop, not thinking that I was actually gonna buy anything, I think you always knew. And yeah, we're looking at all these rugs. And I found the rug immediately that I liked. And then I was like, I think I was looking at you a bit like, maybe like, asking for permission. You weren't giving me permission. You were just like, you want this rug. It wasn't like, I need your permission. You would like reminding me that I wanted this, and I get to make the choice, and it's safe for me to make that choice. And so I bought the$2,000 rug, and it was 2500 was it? Yes, I love that. You remember exactly. And we're actually, my feet are on this rug right now. And this rug represented so much more than just this. This was, yeah, this. I don't even fucking know what this represented. I would say that in, especially in the in the entrepreneurial space, and in the, you know, the per if we put ourselves in the personal development industry, they can sometimes feel like it's a bit of a fluke, like I've got, I've made the I've done the 10k month, or I've had, I've had a good run, but this will end. This is probably this is all going to end eventually, and there can be fear of that. And I feel like this purchase of the rug was you saying, Hey, I'm I'm invested in this, this. I'm invested in my success. I'm invested in my ability to add value to the world and therefore receive value that can then be reflected in what I purchase. And I don't want to be a $400 rug girl. I want to be a Moroccan rug from the shopping James Street, and that's who I am. And once again, I think there was like an acceptance of I accepted you for who you were, and I could see that this was who you were becoming. And if I had to say, just get the $400 one. Come on. Like, that's you're making a bit of money, yet that's good, but like, we still want to be, you know, on the safe side, I don't think we'll ever be remembered as people who have smart or made logical decisions with money, and I'm okay with that. And I think we can mature and become more refined and discerning and more mature in our money management, yes, but I guarantee you there is going to be, continually throughout our lives, opportunities for us to do things that don't make sense with our money, because we believe in something greater than certainty, as you know, financial certainty. And I'm okay with that. I'm kind of, once again, I've become aware of the the value of that kind of perspective, because of the life that we've continually created over and over again, yes, and the love and the experiences that we've had, I Think, a big part of just like, just like, Oh, what am I trying to say from this rug story and the jeans and the jacket story, I feel like one of the biggest things in this is like reflecting, seeing the truth, and this is something that we've gotten really good at, is like seeing, seeing where, like both of us and being invited to go yes, and instead of feeding into the other person's doubt, like, let's say the rug thing, instead of you being like, Oh, is it a good purchase? Are you sure you want to do that? Are you sure you put, shouldn't put? Me? Money somewhere else, like you just saw what I actually fucking wanted in that moment, and you reminded me it was safe to make that purchase. I saw that this was going to be initiatory for you to buy the fucking jeans, buy the fucking jackets, spend that money like I could see the man that you were going to be on the other side of that. And I reflected that back to you. And I think we've done that again and again and again again with like vision quest like certain things we've each individually wanted to do in our relationship, or as a couple, we're devoted to not really feeding the doubt or adding to like of course, both of us have doubt all the time about things we are doing in business, things we're doing in life, decisions we're going to make, but I think what has been so powerful and who we are for each other is that we don't add to the other person's internal doubt. We do our best to see like what the truth is underneath that, and remind like, bring each other home to that. Yeah, and I think that what I really want to honor in us as individuals is we don't allow our discomfort to tarnish, or we don't I feel that we're very good at and there's been moments where we haven't been good at it, where we don't let Our own insecurities influence your right of passage. Amen. And I think that's where the birth, like, you know, the birth experience that you had, I think, is it was a culmination of all of these experiences that we'd continually been on either the giving or receiving end of, yeah, yeah. And we built a we built a really, really beautiful foundation of trusting each other and also being okay with the with our own, our own insecurities, now, own doubts, and knowing that we've got someone in our corner that can see through them and remind us of what we're truly capable of. Yeah, love that. How good. Okay, what else do you want to bring, in terms of our 10 years together, best sex ever? What were some of the best sex we've had in the last 10 years? Well, we were asking these questions, Yeah, mine was when we lived on village way, yes, and we had sex against this the wall of our bedroom, yeah, and I didn't even it was actually when I was deep in my VEDA studies, my sexuality studies, and I was unlocking a lot within myself. I was healing a lot within myself. I was, you know, exploring a lot within myself. And I think on an individual level, I was like de armoring my body and liberating so much of my body so I could receive deeper but I remember after, I think we both orgasm together, and then I remember turning to you and being like you. It was my first, like, transcendental sexual experience where I literally turned to you. It was like, Oh, you just fucked me to God, just then, yeah, was the first experience where I really felt like, I, yeah, almost entered this, this other, other, other realm, yeah, you, I, yeah. I remember it feels like it was we'd access something that we hadn't accessed before. And it went beyond, like, the physical sensations. It was like I was transported somewhere else so that, what other experience did as experiences did I share the other day, I feel like when we asked that question the other day, bango, no, no, I should not have played with you. Continue my love. Gonna be all the background noise in this episode. Yes, sorry, I'm getting distracted. Yeah, think as a distracting dog I, I love the sex in Guatemala. Yes, which was, what was that? Which was because we had, I booked, it was around your birthday, and we'd, I was just gonna say it was the first time we tried that. Oh, that, yeah, it was the first time. Yes, that. But we'd also, this was what happened, was I booked a really nice place, but it wasn't the right apartment because it didn't have a view. Do you remember that? Yeah, and we're talking about this, and this is, like, where, like, I wasn't happy with the accommodation, and I made Jacob go, and we had changes. We didn't have a lot of money either. We had any business spoiled, right? Okay, Django down state, and that, um, that quarter mile trip, like we were already redlining. I would say I didn't think we had a lot of extra income. No, not at all. But, yeah, you didn't like the fact that we were in a beautiful we stayed in a really nice place, but it wasn't the right the right room, because it didn't have a view and it wasn't high enough. And I remember we had sex in that room, but then afterwards, it leaked. Yeah, and the room leaked, and then I was given an opportunity to go and ask for more. And I was like, this is not really good for my current belief around worth. And I had to go, and I literally had to go down and stand up for your desire for more. And I had to, like, reconcile that I would actually it would feel good to be in a nicer place for me as well, but I didn't want to do the work. I didn't want to be uncomfortable. And that thank you so much for being No, I truly believe, like, I think I used to, because I look back at that and I'm like, That's so bratty. Why weren't you grateful? I actually think I it was not about the room. It was about you. It was about you being a man. Yeah, it was about you, like, standing up for, like, being an advocate for my desires. You like doing the hard thing in devotion to us and what we wanted or what I wanted. Yeah, do, yeah, yeah, you were the cut, not anymore, but you are. You were the type of person just be, oh, just like, we'll just deal okay. It's the leaking. It's fine. It's like, we'll just get over it where I'm like, No, go and complain immediately. A good, a good, just want to say a good test for this is if you get a coffee at a coffee shop and it's cold or it's not to your liking, do you send it back, maybe six years ago, maybe five years ago. I wouldn't now I immediately do and I make anyone who I'm in the presence with do it, like the other day when we're at our friends Miss lunch. Yes, Jack got an Espresso Martini that he didn't like. And I was like, I was like, take that back, because you're going in now when the food comes you're going to be looking at the food and being like, I don't even like this fucking food. Like, yeah, and that, like, everything is good. This whole entire lunch is going to be tainted with the experience of you not getting the drink that you wanted. So Guatemala, that sex was amazing. And also the experience like, I think, to like, the the the initiatory experiences of, like, when we're when we're growing and evolving, we're experiencing new planes and that like that, for me, was such a cool experience in Guatemala. There was another time when we went and stayed in this cool little place down in Friday hut road. And I still think I still remember this, just for we went down to this creek and we fucked in the creek, and I ended up being such a beautiful really, just I thought it was really hot and sexy, and we'd like having sex out in nature. It felt really primal. I loved that. Yeah. What other times I feel like, there's so many, I feel like we just have been together for 10 years. I know we and I also feel like, and you can probably agree with this, after a lot of our sex, I say that was the message. So I feel like I've said that so many times that I don't even remember after the second engagement ring. Yeah, we're staying in a beautiful, beautiful hotel. Yes, I also think a lot of our epic sex, and I think we're rewriting this, but now we have a child, but a lot of our most incredible sex has come after, like, wanting to have sex, and then something clunky happens, or it just doesn't. It's not the truth of the moment, and then we have to wait another day or another three days or something, and I'm getting frustrated because I want to have sex. Yeah, it always, like, almost our best sex happens when we release the grip of trying to have sex, and then just the moment happens, and it's so beautiful, totally, and we surrender to that. And I think that isn't that that's just a metaphor for life, like when you actually stop trying to make the thing happen and you just allow it to unfold. Yeah, and I think sex for us over the years, there's been like such an alchemical process in many of those moments as well. I think sex has been like a very it's been a modality. It's been a practice of healing and opening and finding new parts of ourselves, which has been really cool. Yeah, really, really cool that sex we had when we went up to the Sunshine Coast. So much of the good sex we have on trips. Yeah, little sex trips. We've had a lot of good sex at home, but when we went up the sunny Coast when I was pregnant, that was really good too. It was great. So good. Oh, yeah, making me, making your horny. You're a mother now, yeah, can I say that when I'm breastfeeding, we're also learning, like, is he a sponge? Like, is he needing to work out what's appropriate around our child? Okay, what else from our 10 years together? Any other questions we have for each other? Can you hold our son while I put my tongue back on? Oh, little me. Oh, here we go, bud. Hey. What are some highlights for you, like, outside of, you know, the amazing sex and the deep, initiatory moments, is there any like, little mini moments that you've really loved, any kind of, like, key things that we've experienced together? This guy, this guy's been the best. This guy. Having this guy has been incredible, yeah, but I liked what you the question you had the other day was like, what was your favorite moments where it was just the two of us? So, like, outside of community, outside of, like, family, outside of any of that. And I think I had these big like, I was obviously talking about, I but, you know, some of the bigger moments we'd shared together. But I also shared that there was like, like, I remember this one time we were driving down to more woolen bar, so it was like, it's this little town close to where we live, and I just remember crying in the car, like, there was a song that got put on Django, get continue. There was a song that came on the radio, like, not the radio, like on Spotify, and I just started crying. And it was just this feeling of like, yeah, just I feel like they have been my favorite moments together, when I'm just like, oh, like, it's all here. It's not like, it's not the, yes, the big moments are beautiful, like when we have great sex, or when we're on holidays or when we're doing these things, but like, my favorite moments of our 10 years together are, you know, when we're in the kitchen cooking together, or when we're driving some somewhere and our favorite song comes on, or when, like, recently, when, even before, oh, she was born, when we're in the backyard with our dog, and you're playing with the dog, and I'm just like, sitting there watching like, just these, like everyday moments. And I do love that about us that we don't wait for the big moments to experience each other or experience intimacy, that we're devoted to, to experiencing intimacy in in the simplest of things, and even more so now, like, now we have a child, it's the simple moments that are the most, like, glorious, I think coming, coming full circle. It's like, yeah, it's like, what is this relationship? It's you or me. So anything extra is, is that it's it's not necessary, it's nice to have. But like, my and where this podcast was born was from, like, when we were being in the car and we talk. And I just remember being like, I remember talking to the guys after surfing once around, like, intellectual intimacy. And I was like, Oh, I get to have deep, epic conversations with someone in my life all the time. You know, we come, we came up through, like, a lot of plant medicine ceremonies, and, you know, a lot of people didn't get the opportunity to go home and talk about it, because they didn't it, because they didn't have someone that was on those journeys with them. You know, for the first four years of our, of my journey with with the plants, we did, like, close to 50 ceremonies together. Like, that's a lot of ceremony to do together. And like, after that, we then got to, like, be with each other and enjoy the simple moments. And I think, you know, the the foundation of our relationship is simple, in between moments that are, that where we get, where we are aware that this is what's happening right now, is the is the magic? What's happening right now is the magic? Yeah, the magic the veggie garden, the the walks, you know, walks down to the creek, the breakfasts at Dooley court, or the, you know, the playing music at Village way, or the, yeah, the this, so many things that have happened. I feel like each house that we've lived in has had a different theme. And there's been a just like, the piece that I keep coming back to is, like, there's such a willingness from both of our our hearts to stay open and to stay committed. And I think that's like, where I really feel like this podcast is like, arriving. Is this a concept of devotion? Yeah, the devotion is, there's many times where I could have chosen comfort, and many times where you could have chosen to maybe let me be my story, and not see that I was actually wanting more. I just didn't know how to do that. My story was stronger than the desire. Yeah, we're speaking about that before we started this episode, I think, like, if there's one theme, or like theme you want to call it, yeah, that over our 10 years, it is devotion, and I love I saw, I saw this beautiful, um reel lately, and it was like this, this just a video of like, an older couple, an elderly couple. And the thing was, every time I see an elderly couple, I think, How many times have they have had, have they had to forgive each other? How many? How No, not had to? How many? How many times have they chosen to forgive each other? And you know, I think that and forgiveness, for me, is like the little things of forgiveness is like not holding someone in resentment. So it could be the, ah, you you triggered me then, well, that thing you did didn't feel like you were thinking of me. It doesn't have to be like these big things of infidelity, or, you know, it doesn't have to be these big things that we think we only think of when we think of forgiveness and relationship. Ship. But it's true. I think we've been devoted to, like, clearing the channel, as we put it, we've been devoted to not holding the other person, like at ransom. Does that make sense for like, contempt, in contempt, not holding the other person in contempt, not saying, Oh, that's okay. But actually, like, holding on to that thing and letting that build and build and build like we have genuinely been devoted to, like, keeping our relationship clear and clean so that we can feel each other's hearts, yeah, and I think, I think that is, like the thing that served us the most. We've been, I don't know if this is on, probably, yeah, we've been devoted to keeping the channel clear. If you don't know what that means, go and watch our conflict to deeper connection workshop and yeah, devoted to continually, like meeting each other again and again and again. And the key thing here, I think, that can be, it can be easily lost with devotion, is that you feel like you may be outgrowing each other, or maybe someone's moving faster and you're moving slower. And I think it takes a lot of like self inquiry to be like, Am I willing to stay Do I have the staying power for this? And is this, is this relationship important to me, and is this relationship important to my partner? And I know there's been times where you've been on fire and I haven't been and you've been so so gentle yet loving and direct with me when I've needed that support. And similarly, I know you've done, you know I've done that for you, where you may have been wobbling and I might have been so sure of my path that what you've needed is compassion, not for me to be like, well, we're growing apart. So this, you know, let's, let's, let's close this chapter. And I think that's these crossroads of all you know, these times where I would rather slow down than quit on us. I would rather stop and take a look at what's really going on, then use that as an excuse to get out. And that's what devotion is. For me. It's like I can see the value. I can see beyond the story, and I know that there's value here. And there's a really cool book that I haven't read, but I love the title of it's called choose her every day. And I think that, you know, we we've spoken about this around like there's no such thing as the one, but you're the one I choose, and that can be that's ongoing. You're the one I choose every day, you're the one I choose every month, every year, every decade. And then I get to reflect on all of the different yous that I've chosen and all the different mes that I've gotten to become because I've chosen you. And I think a lot of people out there probably really want to get to know all these different versions of themselves, but to do that, you have to be willing to stay devoted to a path of relating with someone that time can only give you that experience, time together The reps, and that's my TED talk. I really love sorry, I'm getting quite distracted. Yeah, I really love what you just said there. And I feel like I had something to say, but it's gone. Did he suck it out of you? Yeah, he sucked it out of me. All of the life force. It's hard to concentrate with you here. I'm feeling we're sort of getting towards the wrapping up. Is there anything that else that you want to share? I want to Oh, I think that's what I was going to say. Um, I feel like what I sometimes see in our culture is a you better be this for me, or there's like a back door open in the relationship. So it's like, Yeah, you better be this for me, or I'm heading out there, like ultimatum style kind of thing. And I feel like, again, something that's served us and we've been really devoted to is choosing the relationship and choosing each other and and I truly believe, and we've had many things that have come into our relationship, that we've met and moved through, like big things. And I truly believe anything could come into our partnership, and we would meet each other in that. And I truly believe we would alchemize that. And it's, it's like a relationship resilience, where, if you're constantly looking at the having the back door open and kind of being like, you need to be this for me, or, ah, this shits hard, I'm going to leave and find someone easier. Like, no, it's, it's, it's this. Like, and again. I think it's, I think it's because we're devoted to the entity of our relationship and the union that I truly, truly believe that anything could, could, you know, arise and unfold in our in our marriage, and we will meet it, and we will alchemize it, and we will come through stronger, deeper, more connected than ever before. Uh huh. And I know, you know, I hope to be together in another six decades time like, what? Oh my gosh. What are we going to have to meet and traverse in the next six decades? What are we going to have to call on? How deeply are we going to have to bring ourselves? How many more times are we going to have to forgive each other. How many more times are we going to have to do the hard thing or have the hard conversation or meet the gritty moments? How much grief are we going to have to feel together? How much grief are we going to have to witness each other feel and move through? How much joy are we going to have to witness each other feel and move through like, just all that, yeah, all that's to come, yeah, and then one day one of us is going to die. I know we're going to die together in the same breath, holding hands with ocean, our other children and our grandchildren around us and our great grandchildren. That makes me emotional. I know I love you. I love you. I think there's I just want to read something. I think that I wrote it just popped up in my memories on Facebook. I thought it might be a nice way to close out. Okay, I hope I'll just make sure that it's actually applicable. And thank you for being with the chaos of this episode with Django, with our baby boy. This feels, this feels nice. It's not, it's not, it's a little bit. It's from 2020 so it's like four years ago. So it's a little bit polarity vibes. But I just think, um, okay, go for it. It's, a it's a post I wrote. I probably reshare it. It's a open her heart with Your presence. Call him home with your love. Relationships are an opportunity to give our greatest gift and receive another's when life feels pointless and I'm stuck in a state of fuck everyone and everything, she calls me home with her love. It is the gentle stroke up and down my spine that calls me home. It is a soft but firm Hey, you've got this I believe in you, that calls me back to the present moment. It is her unwavering gift of love that has me in deep appreciation, not only for this gift, but her willingness to give it unconditionally when her emotions are running high and she is stuck in a state of I can't take this in anymore. This is all too much. I open her heart with my presence. It is the honoring of her process and not trying to solve the problem that slows her down. It is the conscious choice to be completely with her in the moment that lets her feel safe, to open up to the experience. It is my unwavering presence that allows her to know that there is nothing she can bring to this space that isn't welcome. All of her is welcome. We have different desires and gifts. Honor your desires and openly offer your gifts for love knows no condition, rule or boundary. It honors what is present in the moment. Receives unapologetically and gives fully with no expectation. Love is to be in communion with that which is true. How good? Happy 10 years. Happy 10 years. Happy 100th episode. Happy 100th episode. Thanks for CO creating with me. Yeah, we've had some pretty cool experiences and so many more to come. Yeah, and I have loved I am just so grateful for. I'm just also thinking back to when we decided to start the podcast, and I actually wanted to start one solo, and then I think you wanted to start one solo, and I was like, let's do it together. I'm so glad we have this. Is just, there's been a beautiful way for us to come together and, like, have our own individual businesses, but like, have this as kind of our anchor point and use, you know our relationship is, you know, that's our resume. You know how we choose to live when no one is watching is really what makes our work the standard that it is, and allows us to uphold a level of integrity in an industry that can sometimes be filled with smoke and mirrors and people just blurting out topics claiming to be experts on when they've never really, actually done the deep work. They've just read a book or done a seminar or a course, it's like no to really teach this work, you've got to live it. Really be, you know, be in this work. You've got to live it. So yeah, I love it. I love you. I love our son, I love our dog, I love our life. It gets to be this good with us here. Thank you for all our OG listeners that have been here for every single episode, one to 100 We love ya. Here's to hundreds more. Can't wait for Episode 1000 and yeah, don't know what I was gonna say. Don't forget about the that's what I was gonna the giveaway. So head on over to Instagram. Check out that celebration reel. I'm not gonna go through all the what you need to do to enter, but all of that is limited time only. I don't know what date until, but it'll be all there on the go get it. Go get it. Bye. Glass up and big. Love, beautiful people. Yo, yo, yo. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of sex, love and everything in between. Now, if you'd like to stay connected with Meg and I, you can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover, at B dot. Meg, dot. O amazing. And yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super, super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions like I said, hit us up on Instagram, and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that, have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Thanks for being here. Big, big. Love you.