Sex, Love & Everything In Between

Ep 85: The Erotic Mother

August 21, 2024 • Meg and Jacob O'Neill • Season 2 • Episode 85

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Buckle up because this episode is one hell of a ride. Meg and Jacob O’Neill are pulling back the curtain on their most intimate, raw, and downright hilarious moments as they dive into what it really means to be an Erotic Mother. Spoiler alert: it’s not all soft whispers and sweet kisses—sometimes it’s about wanting to be treated like a “dirty little whore” (yep, she said it), even when there’s a baby on board.

This conversation is for every woman who’s ever felt the pull between her wild erotic self and the nurturing mother inside her, and for every couple trying to keep the spark alive amidst the chaos of daily life.

So, if you’re ready for some real talk, a few belly laughs, and a powerful reminder that you can be all of it—the nurturer, the lover, the wild woman—this episode is for you.

They also riff off on:

  • Meg admits to loving being dominated and being treated as a "dirty, little whore"
  • Meg emphasizes the importance of presence and the need for space to reconnect, suggesting that they need to create a container for intimacy.
  • Jacob reflects on the power of getting out of their regular environment to reset their connection and the importance of being present without distractions.
  • Meg suggests the idea of a lockbox to store their phones during intimate moments, which Jacob finds intriguing but impractical.
  • Meg and Jacob explore the societal pressure of fitting into the "homemaker-whore" complex, where women are expected to be either a homemaker or a whore.
  • Jacob shares his realization that removing distractions and creating a safe environment is crucial for intimacy to flourish.

and many more.

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

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⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

THE GATHERING OF MEN: https://www.theembodiedmaninstitute.com/tgom-2024

FULL SPECTRUM WOMAN: https://meg-oneill.com/full-spectrum-woman

CLAIMED: An in-person event who wants to feel deeply claimed by their partner: https://meg-oneill.com/claimed-immersion

PLEASURE PORTAL: 14 day event - https://meg-oneill.com/pleasure-portal

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! --->https://meg-oneill.com/ignite-your-intimacy

⚡ WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/HcrrFF40kYs

----
Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 

Meg O'Neill:

I'm still fucking erotically alive, and I want you to treat me like a dirty little whore, like, just because I'm carrying your child. And, you know, I'm a bit achy now, and like, you know, I am moving towards giving birth. I that part of me has not gone anywhere, and she's hungry as fuck, like, fleece feet, and I wanted, yeah, I was, I was really feeling that you, you weren't, you weren't witnessing that part of me,

Jacob O'Neill:

yo, yo, yo. Lovers, welcome, welcome. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between. We're the O'Neills. You're here with Meg and Jacob, and

Meg O'Neill:

this is the place we have really uncensored conversations about sex, intimacy and relationships. We're super excited you're here. Enjoy this episode. Hi everybody. Hey,

Jacob O'Neill:

lovers,

Meg O'Neill:

welcome back.

Jacob O'Neill:

Welcome Welcome back. Hello,

Meg O'Neill:

my man, hey lover.

Unknown:

We're back.

Meg O'Neill:

We are back. We're

Jacob O'Neill:

back in a big way. Yeah, we've had one false start. We had a podcast that we recorded and we've deleted

Meg O'Neill:

last week. That was just for us. We've never actually that happened a bit at the beginning of our podcasting, yes, journey. That was me, I'll take that. Yeah. That was like, Nah, let's stop. Or there was maybe one, I don't think we ever recorded a full episode, and then was like, we don't want to post that.

Jacob O'Neill:

No, that's the first full episode that you guys will never, ever get to hear. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill:

that felt that was, we're great at being vulnerable, but that just, I just didn't, we were in it, yeah, we were in it. So, yeah, you'll never, ever get to hear what went down in that conversation. It

Jacob O'Neill:

wasn't that exciting. It was a bit of a downer episode.

Meg O'Neill:

Yeah, that's what I think. I didn't like. Lot of long

Jacob O'Neill:

pauses, awkward eye contact.

Meg O'Neill:

Anyway, we're back, we are and I feel like we're gonna have the conversation, conversation, but from a different, energetic,

Jacob O'Neill:

a different place, from a empowered place. And the conversation

Meg O'Neill:

is about how I love being treated like a dirty little whore. Yeah, that's pretty much. That's

Jacob O'Neill:

the essence. That was the missing piece in our relationship. Over the last it's been like the last side say, two to three years. You exaggerate. It's been like three months, I reckon.

Meg O'Neill:

Do I ever exaggerate? You do, yes, you do timelines and many

Jacob O'Neill:

things. What else? You're an expressive human. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill:

I often say this to women I work with that one thing I feel is like a deeply feeling woman. And I feel like this is just the nature of the feminine. When I'm feeling something, it feels like I've never felt anything but that thing, and it feels like I'm gonna feel that thing forever, yes, and I feel like it's the degree in which I give myself over to a feeling, and the degree in which I meet a feeling, which I think is so beautiful, and it is. You know, this comes up in our sex life sometimes, if things feel a bit gritty, or we haven't had sex in, like a week or two, and I'm like, we're never gonna have sex again.

Jacob O'Neill:

Our relationship is barren. The drought will never end. Gods and rain make it rain. God it makes out the back, doing the rain dance, praying.

Meg O'Neill:

I am so dramatic, but that's what it feels like to me. And I think I am very attuned to like I think there's a power in that. Because sometimes when there is space between, you know, our intimacy, there can be something that's like, you know, in the space or in the channel between our hearts that needs to be spoken into. And so I think it doesn't just represent, I want your cock inside of me.

Jacob O'Neill:

I think, yeah, you do, but I sometimes don't think there's anything there. I think it's just that if we were to leave it longer, it would eventuate into something would eventually like, the further we get away, no doubt there's going to be some kind of rupture or some kind of unnecessary tension. So all I'm hearing in that is that you're aware of the space that is growing between us, and it doesn't feel good, yeah? And because you know that it's, it's the trajectory that it's on is not about it's not going to be deeper connection. It's going to be more separation. Yeah, so I think it's more of the you're aware of the and for me, intimacy isn't as like if there's something else that's occupying my focus, be it a business, part of my business, or be it something that I'm really excited about, that. Not be as apparent to me, because I'm so single, focused on what's going on in my life.

Meg O'Neill:

Yeah, over here, you get locked in, yeah. And I think that is, and I I think I've become okay with that being part of my gift for for us and our relationship to kind of be like, Hey, there's this really important thing that we love over here, and it's me.

Jacob O'Neill:

And even, as you did that, even feel the part of you like, where I'm like, Don't you dare try and take my attention away from what I'm doing. But what I what I've sort of learned through this little season of drama healing was that, ah, like, if we've got something booked in and we we get out of our regular environment, we it only takes 24 hours to reset the space. Oh my gosh, yeah. And what I found was, like, because I've been so consumed, it has been for for four to six months of like, lots going on in our lives, both of us, and that what I had to really consciously, I guess, cultivate over, you know, when we went away this week, was like, okay, cool. I'm going to we're going to go out to dinner, and we're going to be off our phones, and I'm going to ask questions, and we're going to take some time to be together, and we're going to like, and it's going to be just us, and I think that's what I found really helpful. And if you're a man like, this is something that can really help you as well. Like, if you work from home, or if all of your life is wrapped up in an environment, your immediate environment, getting out of it, can be one of the most powerful things, because it removes the distractions and gives you, almost gives you back your presence, so you can deliver it to your partner. And that's what I find. Because I can look at the back, I'm like, oh, Lord, needs mowing. Those blankets need folding. Yeah, we need to tidy this place up. I need to move the podcast studio out into the garage. I can there's things that are vying for my attention, but if I choose to take you away with me into a beautiful hotel, the Oaks Hotel Resort, like, there's only you, everything, nothing else is my responsibility, yeah, and it was really powerful, and that for me, was like, ah. And this week's been great, and we've been back. We've been and there's been attraction, there's been desire, there's been want, there's been year, and there's been all of the things that I guess I'd taken a bit for granted, and I kind of just like, put to them. I was like, oh, they'll just, they'll just come back on their own. They don't. You've got to, you've got to be willing to put in effort.

Meg O'Neill:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And there is something like you said about like, when you're in the home, you feel you being like, oh, there's okay, I might be finished work for the day, but then there's this, and there's the kitchen, and there's this, and there's this, and there's this. And for me, what I crave most in intimacy is I want to feel like the only thing that's taking up space in your mind, in that in that very fucking moment, yes, and you know, and I know No, majority of women that walk into my world walk into my world for that reason. They feel the same. They want what they want, that level of depth and presence, and that's fucking hard for anyone to offer us in this modern day world, when there's constant distractions, and, you know, a very most people lead very full lives. So

Jacob O'Neill:

do you find that women are grateful for what their man gives them in regards to, like, the the providing and the service? But then it's the presence. It's like, it that's, it's that fierce presence that that they're they're missing, like, that's what I've just taken from the few times I've jumped in and Hell's like, they're so grateful for all that their men do. But there's this missing piece of like, almost like, them taking all of their awareness and just like, penetrating, yeah,

Meg O'Neill:

and I know a lot of women that would say, you know, I wouldn't care if my man earned 20 grand less or whatever, you know, like, brought in less or wasn't you know that that providership Yeah, and not that this is the dynamic that every woman walks into my world with. But you know that desire for deep presence far outweighs, I believe, providership,

Jacob O'Neill:

yep, to a certain Yeah, to a certain degree, obviously, yeah, but yeah, I find that too. I think men think I just need to make an extra 20 grand rather than being like, could we live somewhere more affordable, and can I have back a day of a day from my weekends? And like a lot of men don't, haven't been taught that that's a that's an actually really powerful way to bring more fulfillment and value to your life, you might have to drop 20 grand off the salary, or you might have to forego, you know, financial growth for the next year or two or three, and it might take a bit longer to grow, but you're going to have this really rich relationship with your with your woman or. And your children or your community, that's that is what's come online for me more More recently, and I'm learning it, sort of relearning it again as as there's this amplification in our life right now as well, because you're pregnant, so all of that stuff can play out when there's just two people in a house, but you know, you being pregnant that has a whole nother layer to it.

Meg O'Neill:

Yeah, a few things coming up for me right now. I love remember how he met that guy down at Canvas, and he was talking about every Friday now as a family day for him and his children and his wife, and they've got, like, four kids. They're at school. I think a few of them are at school. And he's just decided, fuck it, I'm going to take my kids out of school every Friday because the weekend gets really busy, and I'm going to choose that as the family day that, for me is so unbelievably sexy and masculine. You like that. I loved that because it's like, I'm going to show you, yeah, I'm going to I'm going to lead our family. And being present with my family and making these kind of memories is so important to me that I'm gonna forego, you know, X amount of dollars or 10 hours at work or whatever it might be, to choose that, yeah, like, and even to have the weekend too. It's just a bit to know that, like, oh, that's when we see other people, or that's when sport is on. And I just, I just fucking loved that so much. So I think that is what a lot of women are craving a man to make, yeah? Like, if their man was to come to them and be like, Hey, I've worked out a way. I want to be home more. I want to be present more with you. Or what I want to be taking more adventures, more with you. So I've worked out this way in which we can, I can be super present with our family, or I can be super present with you more. Yeah, and it looks like this, yeah, hot as fuck.

Jacob O'Neill:

And, yeah, and, and, and you will. And this is the thing. It will break your belief around what you think masculinity and manhood is. It'll break down that I'm only what I provide financially. And that's, that's a very real I think provision is important. Provision is a is something that I've always, I've always thought I had to choose either being present or being able to provide. I thought it was one or the other. And now I'm coming into this place where I'm sort of bringing both through as best I can, and I'm learning to, like, expand both of those more and more. But um,

Meg O'Neill:

and if we think, can I jump in? Yeah, please. If we think of our, like, father's generation, and our grandfathers, and probably a lot of the men that came before them, provision was all that mattered, yeah, being present in the home, you know, I'm sure individual men had that value. But even my dad was talking about my grandfather the other day, I'm gonna get emotional. And he was saying that, like, you know, he worked Monday to Friday, and then, like, on the weekend, we just do just would support everyone in the community. He was an electrician, and he would just do all these jobs for lack the church and all these other places, the footy club, he he wouldn't even get paid for it, but he was out there. So that was more like a community value, providing for the community. And your dad did say that every afternoon, totally. And I was like, Oh, well, my my dad is one of five fucking children, so my nanny would have just been at home with these five children. And my dad did say, you know, my child would get home and and play with them and be throwing the ball and like everything out the back.

Jacob O'Neill:

I remember exactly who said. He said he'd Bowl a couple of overs. He'd come out and just roll the and bowl 10 overs to them every afternoon. And I think that's like that to me. Sounds like that was presence,

Meg O'Neill:

yeah. And, you know, we live in a totally different time now with phones and and that's probably the piece I know a lot of you know, let's, let's be fucking real. That's a threat to deep intimacy, phones, technology, I don't know a threat is the right we should get,

Jacob O'Neill:

and I'm gonna regret saying this a lock box. We should get a lock box that

Meg O'Neill:

turns me on. So much like that turns me on. If you were to take my phone and your phone and go, it's 8pm in the lock box, yeah, like, and if you were to grab it from me, I would just, I would fucking love that.

Jacob O'Neill:

So, so I think we need to create like the kit, like the claiming the claiming the consciousness, or claiming the container kit. And it's like, how do you like create health, a healthy container for like presence to have to arise. But I'm thinking that that's going to be that I'm going to gift that to my clients. When I work with them, I'm going to say, here's a lockbox. I'm going to send it to them. And I'm like, this is for you and your partner's phone when you're going to when

Meg O'Neill:

you're Can you do it for us?

Jacob O'Neill:

I'm not going to be embodied in it. No, I'm not doing it. I'm just going to make

Meg O'Neill:

everyone else. But

Jacob O'Neill:

I was even thinking that then I was like, what? How cool would it be at dinner time? Like, like, for instance, I. Imagine being, you know, with with children. When we have children, it's like, imagine what it's going to be like when they get to their teenage years and they want to have their phones. It's like, at dinner time we just have the lockbox. Yeah, in the lockbox. No, dad, fuck that.

Meg O'Neill:

I need my phone. Oh, god, that's going to be

Jacob O'Neill:

and that will be me, that'll be me screaming. That's not actually my talk dad. Put

Meg O'Neill:

it away like never.

Jacob O'Neill:

But yeah, I think that's um, yeah, okay, cool, okay, I will.

Meg O'Neill:

Are we going out this afternoon? Let's get a lock box. It's

Jacob O'Neill:

gonna have to be an incredibly like hard to crack.

Meg O'Neill:

Safe Walk, we're gonna try

Jacob O'Neill:

and pick them up toilet,

Meg O'Neill:

but I've loved we bought games recently, and we've been spending a lot of time playing games at night. Yeah, that's been really fun. I really love that. But what I was saying is, I think we do. We live in a time where this little fucking screen that we all have in our hands is like pulling, pulling at our attention constantly, that it takes such a depth of consciousness to be present with someone and you do, like you said before, it's like life got really full for us. And there was a there wasn't a depth of our intimacy that would usually have been there. Like, yes, we're like, very intimate and connected, and we don't sweep things under the rug. It was just like the fullness of life got in the way a little bit, yeah, and you have to be that takes that doesn't just go away. You have to be so conscious about create, like reconnecting and creating that, creating an environment for intimacy to flourish, and going back to like our grandparents time even our parents, time, like they didn't have fucking phones or computer like things in their hands that took the if they were a dinner, it was like, oh, there's we're all eating together, and I guess we talk or, you know, there wasn't that constant distraction. So, yeah, the quality of presence wasn't being fucked with as much. And

Jacob O'Neill:

like, you start to laugh more, I reckon, like things get funnier, like I feel like I'm more fun when I'm not on my phone. Would you agree? 1000 million percent? Yeah, cool. All right, 1000 million percent, that's a fair bit,

Meg O'Neill:

but also that it's like kids, I love even playing board games right now, and we don't really have a phone around when we're playing board games. And just like, just like the space and the the the boredom, there's like, and not that it's boring to play games, but I feel like it's important as a couple to just like be, to get like that, beingness. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill:

I think that's there's like, I find that when I go to my my grandparents, like, with my granny, she loves games. She's hilarious for that. And we do have rum cub, which is a great game inspired by her. I'm

Meg O'Neill:

loving that game,

Jacob O'Neill:

but I just laugh at like, you know, it does create. It creates a bit of creates. It does it creates fun. And I think fun is such an underrated thing in a serious world. I think that's what I realized, too. Is like when I'm not when I'm on my phone and it's connected to my work, and then work is connected to this house, in my office, and everything sort of, it all becomes very serious, and everything's got to have, it got to have an outcome, and it can't just be for the sake of it. And then when we're playing a game, it's just like, Oh, cool. This is once it's finished, we pack it up, and then we go to bed, and it's like, oh, it creates a level of like, switching off from all of that out there and takes and I think that can be a board and I never thought I'd say this a board game can be really, really helpful. You can actually enjoy it, yeah, next thing you know, I'll be in the bath, but playing board games,

Meg O'Neill:

Jacob, for you, said he hated board games, and also he hates baths. I'm gonna get you in a bath,

Jacob O'Neill:

hopefully with my consent.

Meg O'Neill:

Drug you,

Jacob O'Neill:

we've found out you're a bit of a, you're a bit I'm a what you're you're an animal, absolute animal.

Meg O'Neill:

You only just realizing that's concerning, um,

Jacob O'Neill:

shall we talk about that? About the the that part of it, like all of what we're talking about too, is like that can happen in a relationship at any period. But like for us, too, it's been business has been stretching both of us massively. This year you're pregnant, which is, like, the other aspect, which is, like, added a whole nother layer to it, and brought up so many of these, I guess, beliefs, or these unconscious kind of ways of being that I wasn't even aware of. And it's really it affected our sex. Life massively,

Meg O'Neill:

yeah, for probably the last six months, probably the last six months, yeah. Like, for me, the dynamic has felt like I've been wanting sex, and I've had to almost, like, convince you, like, hey, like, this is important. Hey, come have sex with me. Hey, like, and I think all like, like, you just said the quality of we are not people that just get into the bedroom and go, Okay, it's the end of the day. Let's, let's quickly fuck like, that's not, it's our sex life is deeply determined by the quality of presence we're offering each other.

Jacob O'Neill:

And I want to own that. Like, as a man, you don't have just because a woman is ready to have sex doesn't mean you have to have it. You don't just have to be ready to go. Or, like, men don't always want sex. There's other things that, yeah, I just want to own that, because I've always thought that, like, that's a wrong part of like, men should always be ready to have sex. But at the same time, like, yeah, quality is important to me as well. Not just having sex because we haven't had it in two weeks, is really Yeah. But also, it's been two weeks, more than one dog in this house.

Meg O'Neill:

One of them's on heat. So we were playing with a lot of different things. Like, yeah, I think there's that part of me, yeah. Like, even though I've been stretched in a few different places, especially earlier in the year, I've, like, especially sec, probably from second trimester. I was, like, just, I was horny, like I was wanting, yeah, like I was wanting to connect. I was I was wanting sex. I was wanting even, like, more. And then you were at a stage of being really locked in with work. And so that felt, yeah, it was just a challenging time of me feeling like, hey, I really want this, and then asking for it, and maybe having conversations and being like, Okay, well, let's, you know, we'll do these things this week to make sure that sex happens and intimacy happens, and all these things happen, and then it wouldn't really happen, and me being defeated and disappointed. And then, you know, just like this pattern that we kind of flowed through for and it wasn't as if we didn't have sex for six months, we were still having sex. It was just that

Jacob O'Neill:

it didn't flow. It didn't

Meg O'Neill:

flow. It felt like every time it was happening, it was me kind of like, really asking for it, and then when we did have it, it was phenomenal, but there wasn't it. Yeah, it didn't feel, it felt, it felt clunky. And

Jacob O'Neill:

I think to when there we would set an intention, and then it wouldn't happen. The upset that you would feel, or the it would be like, and then I'd be like, Well, I'm not going to give you any time frame, because if I don't fulfill it, then it's only going to make you feel worse. So I'm going to not, I'm not going to do that. But I think beneath all of that too is like you're pregnant now and then that meant that I was seeing you in a different light as well, which meant that I was showing up where my priorities shifted from. Okay, you're my fuck buddy, you're my dirty little Fang,

Meg O'Neill:

I prefer that.

Jacob O'Neill:

But yeah, I no longer was seeing you through that lens like that was no longer the primary, like you're not my lover anymore. You're the woman carrying my child. You're the mother to be so not to say that that was a turn off by any sense, but it was just like, oh, that means that I need to prepare and create as much security, yeah? Which is like, cool, like, I don't have time. Like, you're pregnant now, that's the sex has done the thing. Like, yeah, we've done it.

Meg O'Neill:

We've done the thing. Why would we need to have sex?

Jacob O'Neill:

Because I'm only seeing through ROI lenses, like, what's the return on? Well, we've already had sex. We can't get pregnant again. Yeah, so that's done. The job is done. Let me go and do I've got to tend to these other areas and prepare for what's coming

Meg O'Neill:

and for you, because I feel like there's been times in the last few months, especially where you felt at capacity, you have been like, well, I need to use my energy on these things. Like, yes, preparing. Like, that's not gonna that's, yeah, what is the ROI on that? What is the

Jacob O'Neill:

it's and in my eyes, there's, like, nothing. It's like, I'm gonna have to go in and you're and like, and because our sex is never the same, yeah, sex can sometimes be like, it's not just like, I can just like, there can be times where, like, yeah, where, yeah, it's not, it's not just like, lube up, slip in, do. On like that. We don't have like, a fail safe routine that we can, like, fall back upon, like, sex is a fucking ceremony when we like it is. And if there's like, for me, it's like, what am i What the fuck? What kind of portal am I opening if I step into this, and there has been a level of like, reservation, of like, Oh, it's just too fucking hard right now, it's too fucking hard to use my energy on that, because I need this other stuff to be done, and there's timelines and deadlines, and I need to get this done. And

Meg O'Neill:

then that was really challenging for me, because I you weren't saying that, but I was feeling that, I was feeling that that part of it just felt like a bit of a burden. Yeah, my my libido and my desire and my yearning was feeling like a burden,

Jacob O'Neill:

and not that I was rejecting you, but in a way by not prioritizing it. You know, I was and like you were feeling rejected, you were feeling abandoned, you were feeling alone in a house where you meant to be with, you know, here with the person that you love the most. So it's like, Ah, this is all amplifying every time we go another week where we don't prioritize intimacy, where we don't create the space to connect.

Meg O'Neill:

And some of the things that were coming up for me. And you know, I'd love to hear what I brought this to you, even if you like, maybe two or three weeks ago was like, Oh, this coincided, like me feeling your lack of desire in a way, or your lack of really intentionally choosing our sex life. And I also want to say that it's not as if, like, throughout this entire time again, we, we are the kind of couple. It's not as if we were talking to each other. It's not we had we. We are very Connect. Our base level of connection is hectic, is strong, is very strong. Like we would never go to bed with, you know, big things there, or like, once, yeah, yeah, the other the other night, the first time, and yeah. So our base level of connection is really strong. It was more just the physicality and the the eroticism in our relationship. And I shared with you the other day, I was like, and this is so vulnerable. I was like, Hey, you like, is there desire for me and this new body I'm in? Like, being pregnant? Like, is is that, like, basically, are you attracted to me?

Jacob O'Neill:

Do you still think I'm hot? Yeah, and continue. I went, What were you gonna say? Nothing. You keep going,

Meg O'Neill:

and you were like, yeah, like, of course, I love your body and and then it got to this place of like, and I think we can deepen into this conversation together, where I was like, I want, like, I still, I'm still fucking erotically alive, and I want you to treat me like a dirty little whore, like, just because I'm carrying a child, and, you know, I'm a bit achy now, and like, you know, I am moving towards giving birth. I that part of me is not gone anywhere, and she's hungry as fuck, like fleas feed her. And I wanted, yeah, I was, I was really feeling that you, you weren't, you weren't witnessing that part of me. And can I continue for a moment? Yes, with what? And we went away, you know, earlier this week, and already this had shifted last week before.

Jacob O'Neill:

Can I ask a question before this? And this is not to I definitely wasn't seeing you as the dirty little 100% I just kept seeing you as, oh, this woman is achy and she needs like, rest and like, and I need to, I need to provide. Yeah. But do you feel that you were, did you were you moving through life erotically as well? Do you feel that you were meeting life and like, erotically moving through life? Yeah, there's

Meg O'Neill:

probably times where I wasn't, and you're right, it's like the it's for probably the last few months, my body has felt slower and achier, but there was still a there was still me consciously bringing that part of me to you. I felt Yeah, like in the shower and like, yeah, when I would like, yeah, I feel like they would Yeah, totally, but less than, probably less than Yeah. I

Jacob O'Neill:

think that that was Yeah. I don't I didn't feel that as I felt the desire or the want, but I probably didn't see you moving through life, like, letting life fuck the shit out of you, like, in the way that I think in like the from that perspective. And I can also see how it would have been even more important for me to create a contained experience for you to like, be in that because you are, you know, you do need to be, you know, I need to get off the like there is, like, a genuine like, you're growing a human like, there's. And it's going to look different. So in my head, I don't think I'd registered that the year, the eroticism was going to need a different structure. Yeah, totally. No, for real, yeah, physically. Like, it's not something that can look the way it's looked before it can have the same source. It comes from the same place. But I was like, Ah, so yeah, I just was wondering about that with you. Because I was like, yeah, like, what I felt and you're gonna go into it, but like, the night away. I was like, yeah, it was contained. It had, like, space. It allowed for that energy to

Meg O'Neill:

build. And I think another thing like I was because there was an element of me not feeling your receptivity to that part of me that I probably then shut that down or didn't, because it was like, it hurt a little, yeah, to bring her and to like, to feel, to feel like, Oh, she's a burden right now, yeah, this man's doing all he can to like, you know, create and provide, and he's just, he's building his kingdom, like, stop trying to fucking lure him away.

Jacob O'Neill:

So I get into the lake. I

Meg O'Neill:

think, I think there was a part of me that probably was was not feeling like that was welcome. Yeah. Anyway, there was the even at the end of the podcast that we will never record, never you'll never hear, I'm deleted. I've deleted. I think you said to me something like, Okay, we're going away next week. What did you say?

Jacob O'Neill:

You can say, You know what I said?

Meg O'Neill:

Oh, I forget you said something at first, and I just started to like, like, circle my hips in the chair and just get really turned on. And then you were like, I'm just gonna fill all your holes. I'm

Jacob O'Neill:

gonna take you away next while we're away, I'm gonna fill every single one of your holes.

Meg O'Neill:

I just gotta go giddy and like, oh my god, yes, this is what I've been like. This is I want, yeah, I want to be I wanted to feel your want for me. You're like, you're like, sexual claim over me. That's what I was really missing. And I keep saying I wanted you to treat me like a dirty little whore, because that's I get off on that. Like, if we're looking at the erotic blueprint, erotic blueprints, I'm kinky as fuck, like I want to be owned. I want to I want you to tell me and like that, like, tell me you're gonna throw me against the wall. Tell me that you know. Like, I love that sense of bondage, both physically, but also like that, like storytelling and the build up and you telling me, you know what's going to happen, and psychologically,

Jacob O'Neill:

or intellectually,

Meg O'Neill:

psychologically, yeah, I love that. I love that. And that was probably something I'd been really craving, and that just like, takes me somewhere. And anyway, so you said that, and like, you know, so much of that really shifted something. But then when we were away, and there was a moment where you were just like, you know, ravishing me, and you just like, well before to go back, and you were just like, saying the dirtiest things, and then you called me a dirty little whore or something. And then I literally, and this was so genuine, so I looked up at you, and I just said, I feel so sick. It was so cute, because it was so genuine. I wanted to cry. Because I was like, oh, there's like, I want to cry now. There was like, this part of me that I'm like, oh yes. Like, he's acknowledging this part of me that I feel like he hadn't he hadn't acknowledged in a little while. Yeah, and it just meant so much to me. But I also just guys I'm crying if you're not watching, yeah, yeah, like I did. I felt, I felt so seen, and it was so beautiful. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill:

was like a beautiful piece of art.

Meg O'Neill:

And if you could have heard what is saying, it makes this even more hilarious. What were you gonna you were gonna take us

Jacob O'Neill:

back somewhere the night before, like, where we you know? Yeah, this is always a theme, like, we'll go away for the night, and it's like, all right, tonight we're gonna have the wild

Meg O'Neill:

sex. Yeah, we were already talking about what we're gonna do, and, like, yeah, went

Jacob O'Neill:

down, hopped in the spa at the Oaks Hotel Resort, with this family in the spa with us as well. So it wasn't that wasn't, that wasn't, there wasn't a lot of erotic energy going on there. It was more just, you were kind of whispering, I was whispering some things into you, yeah, but, um, then we went out to dinner, and had a really nice dinner, and were answered, like, asking each other really good questions. And then we had a little moment of tension, which opened us up to, like, a like, almost like, opened us up to some, some of this. And we still. Other to like, almost like, dissolve and need out some of this. What you know, what we're talking about on this podcast state is like, what do we actually what aren't we acknowledging or acknowledging in each other and owning in ourselves that you know, that needs to come back online, because it's there, it's just isn't being either perceived or acknowledged or prioritized. So we had to Yeah. And then we came home, and I remember, like, I gave you a bit of a massage, and, oh, you put your legs up the wall, and

Meg O'Neill:

we'd already, like, started before dinner. Yes,

Jacob O'Neill:

that's right, yeah, I'd already, yeah,

Meg O'Neill:

attacked you, yes. So it like started, so it felt like, and it was kind of like, Okay, we're gonna come home after dinner, yeah. And we're really, really gonna,

Jacob O'Neill:

we're really gonna go for it continue. But that didn't happen. No, I had my legs at the wall, yeah, and it was just powering down to the

Meg O'Neill:

stroking me, yeah. And usually I would say something, I would get a bit, I was waiting for it. I would get a bit, like, tantrum me, like, because we're not having

Jacob O'Neill:

it right now.

Meg O'Neill:

You were just like, stroking my back, and it was the most comfortable thing. And I remember just being I remember feeling the part of me that was like, this isn't going to plan, you know, meant to be entering all of my holes right now. This isn't going to plan. And I was just like, This feels so good right now. This feels so good. Can I just so deeply enjoy how tired I feel and how him stroking my um, how him stroking my back feels so delicious. And I just relaxed. And I was like, I just, like, trusted the unfolding, like I really deeply just let it the fuck go. I was like, yeah, like, nothing can threaten what we're creating. And that energy that's already there, yeah? So just like, going, I literally, I think I drifted off to sleep, like, pretty much immediately out, yeah. And then the next day,

Jacob O'Neill:

and then, yeah, we went and got brekkie, and then we came back, and it all unfolded. And it was so good, yeah. And I think that, like, what I felt from that, that it was only we were only gone for, like, less than we literally gone for less than 24 hours. What I took from that was like, oh, like, it's when you do prioritize intimacy. And it wasn't like we were instantly connected as soon as we got to the hotel, or we instantly wanted it was like, Oh, that whole thing was, you know, unfolded exactly as it was meant to, and we created space for it. We contained space for it to unfold where nothing else could take our attention away. And I think that's a really important piece. Like, if you're a man who struggles with focus, or you say you've got one of these things called ADD or ADHD, which I'm, I don't fully agree with, and I'm not going to project my opinions out there, but I know you don't want me to do that, but I truly believe like when we remove we remove distractions, and we create safety in our body, and we create containment in an environment like intimacy has a space to actually start to grow, and that's what I realized after what my biggest takeaway is Like, Oh, where am I not creating containment for intimacy, and where am I letting other things filter into my life that stopped me from being truly present? And one of those things for me is like, okay, in our house, we're podcasting in our lounge room right now, which is great, but it's still like it energetically. It doesn't allow this room to really hold, hold us appropriately. It's still got an essence of work in here. It feels a bit worky even when we're relaxing on the couch. There's something about it. So because even if I just glance over and look at the podcast and I remember, oh, I need to, I need to post about that or I need. And then if I post about that, then I've got to make sure that I do a story. And then all of a sudden, I'm gone, and I should be on the couch, fingering you really.

Unknown:

Yeah, you should.

Jacob O'Neill:

So what I really want people to especially men, is like, how are you curating your space, even your bed? Yeah, what is in your bedroom, what your environment is, is a is a factor, and what are you doing to curate the appropriate environment for intimacy to just naturally cultivate. And then on top of that, it becomes all the barriers to entry make it that they dissolve. So intimacy becomes a lot easier to access, and then you can, then you can go for it, then you can start to build it and bring the energy and bring the presence and practice the polarity. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill:

and I'm, no doubt, I'm sure there's parents listening to this episode. And I'm, I'm sure we're going to experience this becoming parents. That's going to be even more important, yes, right? As parents, to create an environment where sex and intimacy can unfold. And we're not just waiting for it to accidentally happen, yes, but we're, we're literally curating an environment and a lifestyle where that's a factor, and that's that's something that can ripple out. And again, it is like most people lead really full lives, and we both work from home, so it's not as if we just get home at 530 and it's like, oh, okay, done. And it's all like, sometimes you have calls late and, like, sometimes I haven't I have, like, especially being pregnant, sometimes I'll be really tired during the day, so I'll just sleep or, like, not do anything, and then at seven, I'll be like, Okay, I can get two hours of work done now. And so, yeah, this is really inspiring me to create more, yeah, to tune into our own, especially like coming into the end of pregnancy and moving towards parenthood. It's like, yeah, what? What What is that for us and what things can just shift in our own environment to create an environment where we can sexually thrive and our intimacy can really thrive,

Jacob O'Neill:

and you can be both a beautiful Pregnant woman and a dirty little cock hungry whore, if I

Meg O'Neill:

were talking to me, you were staring right down the lens. Do you I'd love to talk a little bit more about that, because, yeah, that's something that has arisen for both of us just this conversation. And those of you that listen regularly to the podcast, and you know my work, you've most likely heard me talk about like the Madonna whore complex, or I like to call it the homemaker whore complex, where this, this reality that the world tries to put women in one of those boxes. She's either a homemaker, a mother, you know, Virgin Mary. She doesn't even have to have sex to become a mother. She's Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill:

And then there's full of organic produce walsing.

Meg O'Neill:

Then there's the whore, and there's no crossover. You're either one or the other. And so much of my work is, you know, reminding women, giving women this permission slip to be, like you're not actually meant to be fit in one of those boxes you can be at all. And that's actually how I feel, that we feel fully fed as women when we give ourselves permission to be all of it. But yeah, there was like, I asked that question, do you feel like there's part of you that thinks that, oh, now I'm pregnant, that I'm suddenly not allowed to be that anymore. It's like, suddenly that, even if it was subconsciously, you were putting me in the yes, the homemaker box, the mother box,

Jacob O'Neill:

yes, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, definitely. 100% not consciously. I didn't, I didn't do it like, Oh, you're now the homemaker. I'm not having sex with you or I'm not letting you. You're no longer allowed to be that. It was more just my subconscious was like, okay, she's pregnant. Now she doesn't, yeah, it literally, like my brain, logistically, was like, okay, she's pregnant now go and do what you've got to do to make sure that the security and go and do all this stuff so you could get it done. And then there was also, and it was more about, like, okay, cool. Like, yeah, there will be a time when the intimacy comes back online, but that might be after the baby's born and what I felt. And then, like, when you would come to me and you'd be like, I really like, you know, we've got to make the most of this time, you know, the it's and I was like, but this isn't the end for me. Like, this was like, this was just a, I was sort of stretching it out a little longer, but I can see how, like, anything like, then the baby would have come, and then another story would have gotten laid on top of that, and then another story would have got laid on top of that. And it was more about, yeah, that's going to happen in the future, and we'll deal with it when it happens. But right now, what story is running the show, and is it true and or is it limiting our capacity to experience fucking God? And that was the piece was like, Yeah, I'm only seeing you in one dimension. Yeah. Which then had me, like, running out into the world, like, act, acting one dimensionally, like I need to make all this money, or I need to get my business all sorted so I could be present. I need to do this. I need, need, need to do this so I can do this. Which is like, no, that's not how any of the teachings that I've I've begin to under that I've begun to understand point toward, it's about it can be both and in that you can have everything that you've ever fucking wanted right here, right now. You don't have to wait. And that was cool. So yeah, I would say, Yeah, I saw you as the homemaker, and I'd just kind. Disregarded the dirty little hole. Dlw, she

Meg O'Neill:

was so sad. She was like, see me. Was she see me? Put your hand around my throat. I also want to acknowledge and I'm sure women can feel this, even men listening to this episode that there is a real reality, and not just hearing this from you. I know you did a podcast with Tyron about this, and like so many of the other men, you know that I know in our community, or just know that have become fathers, have felt this like that sudden, like I need to have everything together. You know, the pressure to provide. And I, yeah, I just want to acknowledge that, that that is that, you know, a reality for the heaviness of that for a man.

Jacob O'Neill:

And I also want to, like, own that, like, there was a there's a part of me that that, and the way that you talk about how, how important presence in intimacy you see, like, there's a part of me that, like, genuinely thinks, if you had it your way, like I wouldn't work, I'd just sit there and be with you in the baby all day, every day, for like, a year. Is that true or not? No, how long would you how long?

Meg O'Neill:

No, mine. Mine would be. You would you know how I said earlier about that? I found that man like that. Yeah, that man Mine would be your and I feel like this is going to come, when the baby comes, there would be a refinement in how much energy and when you're accessible to your work and your people.

Jacob O'Neill:

Yeah, that, yes. I think I'm still kind of like, I'm just saying I'm like, Where, where is this? Like, like, don't tell me what to fucking do with my work. I'm gonna work as much as I want. Coming from, it's coming from like, that part of me that like, I'm feeling as like, when I quit my job and like, this is a bit cringe. But like, the whole network marketing thing of like, retiring your husband or retiring your partner, it's like that. That's what's coming up for me right now, is like, hey, like, I want my own thing. I love my work. I don't want to just be at home all day with you and the baby. I want the I want quality time, and I want to prioritize that. But I also want my own thing that keeps me connected to my greatest service to the world. And I can feel the part of me that's like wrestling with like, oh, like, well, how's that going to look what I just want to like, when inspiration hits, I just want to be able to do whatever the fuck I want. And that's not the reality because, but I was making you the bad guy, because I was like, yeah, like, you want me to just stay at home and what? Like, what do we do? Do we just all lay in bed all day and just look at

Meg O'Neill:

each other, and I think that that's even when we talk about you providing. It's not as if, like, I still have a business. I'm still my yeah, there's Yeah, like, our dynamic financially isn't right. Now you've Yeah, fully, fully providing for us, and I don't think that will that's not necessarily our

Jacob O'Neill:

structure we've ever really worked with in the last, like four years,

Meg O'Neill:

and that's not what's going to happen once the baby comes. But there is that fear, like, and I think I was just presencing that before that, like, the feeling of when you want to be able to offer me the space to just be so deeply with you know, our child, and maybe that is my fantasy. Just hear me and the baby in bed forever.

Unknown:

Yeah, no,

Meg O'Neill:

but no, I think it's more just. I'm just and I just feel like this will I have no fucking idea how I'm gonna feel as a mother, like I have no idea how I'm going to feel towards my work, how, yeah, but what I am really aware of is the the way we work now isn't, isn't going to, yeah, there's going to have to be more containment and more like, Okay, now, hey, I have a guy I want to be on a call, or I need to do something. So you like, yeah, there's gonna have to be more structure. I guess,

Jacob O'Neill:

totally Yeah. I think that's and it's not about 5050, about like, Okay, I've worked yesterday. You have to, I get to work today. I think it's about like, Okay, what? What's actually, what's effective for the lifestyle we want? What's effective to maintain intimacy, to maintain impact, to maintain, like, a sense of sovereignty, like it might be that okay, you actually want to you actually might just want to fucking be, have a have a morning off. So for that to happen, I need to be present, to be with the baby. And for you, like, your morning off might not be going down. It might be going to Pilate and coming back and spending the morning with us. That might be what your morning off looks like. My morning off probably won't look like that. Yes, it will. I'll be obsessed with this baby. I

Meg O'Neill:

know I feel like that part of you that's like, yeah, I want to go do it like you're just never gonna leave. Like, true.

Jacob O'Neill:

Leave. I want you to leave the baby by myself. But, yeah, I think this is like, it's not as black and white as it used to be, and I think that's where we I was just did a interview with one of the TGM facilitators, Ryan Pope. He's our Cairo and a dear bro, and we were talking about, like, the current, you know, the family dynamic for him and his his partner, Amber, they've got a kid. And he's like, yeah, man, it's not just, like, back in the 40s or 50s. It's different now. He's like, and we get to choose. We get to choose how that looks. And he's like, it hasn't been easy, because we both have these, like, we got two businesses, we got a kid. We've both got our own, you know, our own deeper journeys of personal growth and spiritual development. And I'm like, he's like, I was like, Yeah, bro, how good is that? Like, we get to fucking choose how it looks like. We don't have to follow the rules. We just have to follow what's true. And for me, it's like, yeah, if me going and making a million dollars a year, but I have to be away 10 days a fortnight and only home for four. Like that. Wouldn't work for us, would it at all? So it's like, oh, cool. So it's like, over at what structure can we create that feeds our lifestyle appropriately, but also allows for both of us to be fed in the ways that we need to be fed, yes, in our relationship, in our work and in our in our community or our Family.

Meg O'Neill:

How'd we get onto that? I thought we were talking about, are we talking about, I feel like we're talking about homemaker whore. How did, oh, I was talking about the pressure a man feels, yeah,

Jacob O'Neill:

yeah, yeah, definitely.

Meg O'Neill:

Are there any threads that we feel like we need to tie up? I feel like we're having that homemaker whore conversation.

Jacob O'Neill:

I would like to ask you around like, you know, and this has been the the, I guess, the the one trip up that I felt from from you that hasn't felt good for me, is that, is that almost the urgency that if we don't have sex before we have this baby, that we're never going to have sex again? Yes, and I know that, you know, we identify, that there's this deeply feeling woman that you are, and that sometimes you can come out a little dramatically, and that's okay. Like, to me, I was like, You do realize that, like, your body will heal and and, and we will have sex again. And in my head, I've felt like that pressure, even though there's been like, where you've like, I do just feel like when you've been horny, it's like it's hard for you to contain that. And there's felt, I felt a little bit of expectation at times, and I felt a lot of pressure to give you something because you need it or and be and, and that's and there's almost like, there's this feeling like, once I have a baby, no more sex forever.

Meg O'Neill:

And I think even though I don't truly believe that, yeah, there's an element of I'm about to cry, I'm about to, like, die and be reborn. Like, legitimately, yeah. Like, there is a part of me that will die, like, going into motherhood and like, oh, I don't know what the fuck that's gonna be like. I don't know who I'm gonna be on the other side of that, or who we're gonna be on the other side of that. So there is a part of me that's like, I don't think I really trust that our sex life will get deeper. But I'm also like, let's just like, can we soak this the fuck up like this, almost like this maiden version. Can we, like, I want you to love on her and like, you know, fuck her like crazy. Because who the fuck knows who I'm gonna be on the other side of that and what my desire is gonna be like, or, you know, and I think there's a reality too, in this more. I think there is an honoring of like, it's not just going to be us anymore, and I'm going to be playing a brand new role as mother. And, you know, having a creature latch to me, you know, majority of the day, and so that, yeah, that just knowing that that's coming and not, not, like, probably also realizing maybe sex won't be a priority for me. Like, maybe I'll just be like, fuck off. I'm like, Don't touch me. I'm like, tapped out. Like, yeah, there's so many different pieces to that, where it's like, the unknown of how I'm gonna feel about that part of me, and I know it won't die, and I know that part of me really feeds me. And you know, my. Eroticism is very alive that, yeah, it's always going to be a part of my life. But I I'm not naive to think that it's not going to change form and texture and feeling. And so I think that's the there's almost been a grief around like, Oh, come on. Like, yeah. Like, can we, can we live this up?

Jacob O'Neill:

Yeah, yeah. And I can see where I've been, like, I don't care about right? I'm, I want the baby here. I'm that. I'm excited for that this. So I just want to say sorry for not honoring your right of passage, my love. Because it is. It's huge. Like you said, you're being, you're dying and being reborn. And I think it's not like in you know, it doesn't happen in a moment. It happens over nine months, and then it happens, but like this nine months, it is a slow it's death by 1000 cuts. It's like, slowly, your body's changing slowly but surely you're moving towards this inevitable death. Yeah, and that can be confronting, and yeah, you have every right to be like that, to have that like, Let's soak this up. So yeah, I want to honor

Meg O'Neill:

you. So sorry. And I think you, you very much honor the rite of passage that will be birth. But I think, yeah, thank you. It was more the acknowledgement around like, how my eroticism and sexuality is tied up into that yeah,

Jacob O'Neill:

100% Yeah, I love you.

Meg O'Neill:

I love you.

Jacob O'Neill:

I also disrespect incredibly. There's

Meg O'Neill:

something so hot about that I just didn't so, yeah, there's something about feeling. And I think this is just my the kinky part of me, like I wouldn't feel that if I didn't feel safety. I don't want anyone to just disrespect me. I don't want anyone to just, like, spit in my mouth. I'm really into that right now. But, yeah, when, like, having such a deep container of love, respect and safety with you, but then for you to treat me with such disrespect is like the hottest thing ever.

Jacob O'Neill:

You like being a bad girl, don't you? I like

Meg O'Neill:

being dominated. Yeah, yeah. I really like being dominated.

Jacob O'Neill:

Note taken, point taken, understood,

Meg O'Neill:

dominating me.

Jacob O'Neill:

Let's finish this podcast.

Meg O'Neill:

Bye. Guys.

Jacob O'Neill:

Quick. Turn the camera off. Let them watch.

Meg O'Neill:

Anything else you want to add?

Jacob O'Neill:

No, I think this is like, I just want to like, honor people who are choosing to like, meet life. If you're listening and you know you are being faced with a challenge around intimacy or around who you are or what you're becoming, or witnessing your partner going through stages of grief or transformation or death and rebirth. Like, you get to meet it. You get to be with it. And like, there's so much resource out there for you to understand and grow and learn and like, take on and get the information. But nine times out of 10, what you know, the thing that you're looking for, more than likely exists within you. And if you create space for you to be with yourself. You'll figure it out pretty quickly. That's what I'm learning. So, yeah, make space for for your connection to self and makes and create some containment for the connection to those people that you love. And don't wait, don't put it off, don't say once this is done, then I can do it like, create a sustainable lifestyle. That's what I think. That's what this, this, this season of humanity is asking us to is to stop trying to get somewhere and actually, like, learn to connect with the moment, which I'm super excited about, when this baby comes, and also babies before the baby comes, when you'll be coming.

Meg O'Neill:

Baby just moved a lot. Then one more piece I want to add is just that, like, yeah, in the reality of long term relating, is that the seasons, there's such seasons, seasons to our intimacy, seasons to our sex life. If you love someone for a long time, you are going to witness them stressed. You are going to witness them in grief. You're going to witness them stretched by life. You're going to witness them moving through rites of passage that break them and then make them like and you committing to that person is also committing to loving them through that, and that does shift the our sex life, our intimacy, all of these different things. So I this was one of the biggest reasons we chose to start a podcast. Is there's so much just like, you can look at fucking Instagram and be like, ah, that couple looks like they. Happy all the time, and they're fucking all the time, and then, you know, just always loving each other. And I think we always love each other, but like, there's grittiness and there's clunkiness, and we want to really fucking normalize that, yeah, like, there's nothing, there's nothing wrong. In fact, it's just, it's, can can you choose that? Can you be with that? Like, can you be with that season? Can you meet that season? Can you meet each other in that season? Yeah, and I truly this is what I love about our partnership so much I know that anything that was thrown is thrown into our container, we will fucking meet it. Yes, it doesn't scare me like I truly believe our partnership can handle anything, and that's because we choose to go, Okay, let's, let's, let's fucking need it. And, yeah, and I think that that's, that's what should be the, you know, what am I trying to say? Relationship goals, yeah, not fucking hot people in bikinis on Instagram. It should be like, how does that couple stay in hold when she gets gnarly, when she gets, like, gritty and clunky? Are they there, like, you know, are they opening amongst the closure of their partner, like, all of these pieces like that. That's where we should be, really, that that's the practice of relationship

Jacob O'Neill:

100% and I'm all, I'm down for sexy bikinis. I'm down for sex. Oh, totally.

Meg O'Neill:

I'm one.

Jacob O'Neill:

I'm here first. I'm here for hotness. Like, I'm here for like, I think, like, one of the things that I've found, like, I'm just, like, tuning into, like, the alpha male stuff, like, with all the modesty and things like, totally like, I'm like, like, be hot. Like, if you, if you want, if you're feeling yourself and you want to dress hot, you want to look good. Like, so many men are like, oh, you know, women just dress for like, no, like, dress for yourself. Like, turn yourself on, let, like, Eros move through you and allow that expression to come through. You're talking

Meg O'Neill:

about all like, the ultra masculine women should dress in sundresses and be super modern, super modest, yeah,

Jacob O'Neill:

and I'm all through. I love sundresses as well. Like, please. But like, if you're feeling yourself like and you want to walk around the house naked, do it if you want to, if you want to wear the sexy lingerie do it like, I think there's such a I think there can be such a whitewashing or sanitization of the of the dark feminine, yeah, and that, that, to me, just doesn't sit well, because I think you know that is that can inspire like the dark feminine is such a and like, I believe men who struggle to acknowledge and accept women in that they're scared little boys, I love what you wrote, walking bottles of hand sanitizer. Who

Meg O'Neill:

did a post last night and called you said she doesn't have to dress modest for me to feel masculine, yeah, or she doesn't. She doesn't have to be sweet and surrendered for me to lead. And I just love I think that speaks so deeply to some of the really dogmatic polarity masculine, feminine, traditional roles kind of stuff on Instagram and in the world, is this idea that yeah, a woman must be like this, so that a man can, you know, be masculine, yeah, and it's like, no, like, that's Yeah. If you're determining your ability to feel masculine or bring your masculinity based on what a woman's wearing, she's fucking cries.

Jacob O'Neill:

Grow up, bro. Yeah. Like, yeah, do your work. Do your fucking work. I'm not, I'm not dealing. I can't deal with that bullshit anymore. I'm not being I'm not no more. Mr. Fucking nice guy, no more. Mr. Love you, bro. But come and fucking sit in the circle. Come and face your shit. Offensive, Jacob dancing. This is a shared podcast. This represents two brands, not just yours.

Meg O'Neill:

What did I start saying that to the women it claimed a few weeks ago? Jacob goes rogue. Wait for it, and you said something so rogue, like I told you,

Jacob O'Neill:

but I'm not like, I don't want to like, this is what I'll finish. I don't want to say that. I'm like, I'm often wrong, but there's some things that I'm right about before people know that I'm right about them and I'm okay with that.

Unknown:

Like, what,

Jacob O'Neill:

there's been many times where I've been right about something, and I've had to hold, yeah, my belief, even in the face of you sometimes, even even there's been times where you're like, I don't, I don't actually believe you. And then, you know, and I will say that there's been many times where I've done that, and you have been like, hey, too far. And I'm like, You know what? You're right? Yeah, thank you for, you know, cooling me down. But yeah, there's been times where I've, yeah, I think, and I think that's an like, that's, you know, essentially, the, I think, a big part of, like, your men who are on their mass, you know, the journey of cultivating their masculinity is, like, You got to be willing to be, be in the arena and stand up and say something and potentially get it fucking wrong. And then you've got to have the humility to accept defeat, take ownership and calibrate and like, come back. And I think that that's a really important piece, you know, in relationship, you know, like, Yeah, I haven't been showing up in the realm of intimacy. I haven't been taking you out on date nights. I haven't been fucking you the way you've needed to be fucked because I hadn't been seeing you for the full spectrum woman that you have been feeding the full spectrum woman that you are, and that's on me. I have a responsibility as a man to provide that. So we are now going to be going on an Australian tour to every single oaks hotel, and we are going to do dirty things in every single one around Australia. We're going to tick them off. You would like that. Really like that. But yeah, I'm just really, yeah, really aware of the journey, the journey that comes with, like, long term relating. So grateful to be doing it with you. My love. I love you. So much. I love you. You're very you express emotions a lot. You're very, very expressive. And I love it. You've, yeah, laughed really hard and cried a lot. Like,

Meg O'Neill:

yeah, that's when I know I'm in life is life is good. So tell me about laughing the space in a few seconds. Laughing good.

Jacob O'Neill:

So this podcast versus the one last one, oh, my

Meg O'Neill:

god, so glad that we did it. I knew that we were never meant to post that. Jake was like, Yeah, we're posting it. I was like,

Jacob O'Neill:

so I Yeah, well, that was one of the things where I was we share so

Meg O'Neill:

vulnerably, like, there is very little like I you guys, if you listen regularly, I cry. We are unbelievably vulnerable. We let you into the depths of our relationship and our life. But that was

Jacob O'Neill:

just that was reckless. I was sorry. I

Meg O'Neill:

just like, it was just a bit like we were just discussing things that we hadn't discussed together. There was just a grittiness. There was, it was like the channel between our hearts wasn't fully clear, and we were clearing it on the camera. And I was just like, that doesn't feel good. No,

Jacob O'Neill:

yeah, all right. We love you guys.

Meg O'Neill:

We love you. We will see you soon. See you soon.

Jacob O'Neill:

Peace, yo, yo, yo. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of sex, love and everything in between. Now, if you'd like to stay connected with Meg and I, you can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neal and where can people find you lover,

Meg O'Neill:

at the dot. Meg, dot. O

Jacob O'Neill:

amazing. And yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super, super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions like I said, hit us up on Instagram, and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that, have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day.

Meg O'Neill:

Thanks for being here.

Jacob O'Neill:

Big, big. Love you.

People on this episode

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Jacob O'Neill

Host
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Meg O'Neill

Host