Ep 72: Ageing, injectables & beauty standards

In this deeply emotional and raw episode of Sex, Love, and Everything in Between, Meg and Jacob has a conversation about the struggles and beauty of aging in today’s world.

Meg shares her recent, deeply personal experiences with feeling insecure about her appearance and how society plays a deep part in the perception of beauty.  She opens up about how these societal pressures can erode self-confidence, making women feel small, unworthy, and unattractive. 

She talks about an upsetting incident that made her realize the importance of speaking out about feelings of insecurity and dealing with criticism. 

Meg's brave decision to start these tough conversations provides strength and support for other women facing similar issues.

They also riff off on:

• Meg seeing a screenshot of her mouth posted by an injectable nurse saying it needed fixing. 
• Meg realizing how much the beauty standards affect her and all women.
• Meg crying in her car after seeing the screenshot, feeling grief for all women.
• Meg feeling grief for how many women are affected by beauty standards daily
• Jacob telling Meg her radiance comes from within, not her looks
• Meg feeling a part of her wanted to contract and be small from insecurity  
• Meg realizing how much her own value was tied to beauty and youthfulness
• Meg wanting to be a voice for aging women after her experiences 
• Jacob saying Meg's goal should be to be a woman who is deeply felt by life
• Meg looking forward to the journey of aging and the wisdom she can share later in life

and many more...

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IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

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⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

CLAIMED: An in-person event who wants to feel deeply claimed by their partner: https://meg-oneill.com/claimed-immersion 

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Watch the episode with Taj here: https://meg-oneill.com/2024/05/16/ep-71-feminine-business-shamanism-taking-a-masculine-cleanse-w-taj-savitri/

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 

Transcript

Meg O'Neill: 0:00

like we don't have to burn witches anymore. We just teach women how to hate themselves like we used to burn witches because we wish the world was threatened by the power they weren't witches. They were women they were powerful women. And you burn witches because they were a threat. And so women can be a threat women in their power women who love themselves women who radiate the threatening to our culture. And so you don't want a threatening woman you just create this like story that there is it there is always something to be fixed there is something broken

Jacob O'Neill: 0:50

yo, yo, yo lovers, welcome welcome. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between where the O'Neill's you're here with Meg and Jacob. And

Meg O'Neill: 0:58

this is the place we have really uncensored conversations about sex, intimacy and relationships. We're super excited. You're here. Enjoy this Episode

Jacob O'Neill: 1:17

Hey, baby mama.

Unknown: 1:18

Hey, hey. Big Daddy. Big Daddy year,

Jacob O'Neill: 1:22

lovers.

Unknown: 1:23

D is that what you want to call you for now? That is

Jacob O'Neill: 1:26

all I've ever wanted to be. such a young age. All I wanted to be called was Big Daddy from from lovers from. From my followers, from people who listened to podcasts that I'm on. I'd love to be referred to Big Daddy forward as Big Daddy. Big Daddy. Hey, daddy. Yeah, so if anyone wants to get a shirt made for me or daddy

Meg O'Neill: 1:49

lately, like you've been buying me clothes and things and yes, that's actually been kind of fun. Has it? Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:57

You love to be dominated.

Unknown: 1:59

I love to be dominated. Yeah, I've been enjoying that lately.

Jacob O'Neill: 2:03

What are you called? Cutie pie? Should we let everyone in on our nor?

Unknown: 2:09

Something needed to see for us?

Jacob O'Neill: 2:12

Really? Is that what this podcast is about? Just things for us? No, really? I

Unknown: 2:16

don't think there's much.

Jacob O'Neill: 2:19

Not at all. But um, yep, that is my preferred term. So if anyone is looking for a name for me, Big Daddy. Is it the day? Yep. And you? Little Mama. Mama. Mama.

Unknown: 2:33

Mama back Big Daddy. Little Mama. Yeah. Hi, everyone.

Jacob O'Neill: 2:37

Hey, we are here. In the podcast room today. Yeah, we actually

Meg O'Neill: 2:41

just started recording an episode. And then guess what? It stopped. And we realized why because it didn't stop. We had a fight.

Unknown: 2:50

The dog barked. And then I want to dust it off. And

Meg O'Neill: 2:54

she didn't want to stop and but it's all for a reason. Because a deeper topic wanted to come through if

Jacob O'Neill: 3:01

you ever question why things are happening to you just know that there's a greater, greater story at play. And it'll all make sense. On the other side of the the challenge that you're currently going. That is

Meg O'Neill: 3:14

the truth. And sometimes people are in a state where that is not the right thing to say to people. Yes, I look back at like my early 20s When I was first in the world of spirituality. And I would definitely say that to people just think your way out of it. Like it's happening for a reason. Like this is for you. Like, please don't say that to people when they're in deep pain.

Jacob O'Neill: 3:37

Yeah, that's not very compassionate. No,

Meg O'Neill: 3:40

it's not. There's a time and place. Anyway, we went in deep pain over the podcast, but it did happen for a reason, because there is a very vulnerable, fiery topic that I we're gonna go that's very live for me right now. And I didn't think I was gonna bring it for a little while, but

Jacob O'Neill: 3:56

I just realized something. What did you realize? I'm

Unknown: 3:59

feeling nervous? Yeah, like this is?

Jacob O'Neill: 4:02

Now I'm actually any topic that like, I've been sitting with my work recently. I'm like, I'm fucking a bit bored. Talking about surface level stuff. And yeah, I met with a couple of bros from the sunny coast and they're, they do different work. And they they're really good at the content stuff online. And I'm like, and one guy reflected back to me, he's like, Yeah, you're like the fish that sits at the bottom of the ocean that no one ever really sees. Like, that's the depth of your work, bro. He's like, but sometimes you have to come up and like, talk about stuff as well. You gotta keep talking about the things and like Yeah, but I just want to go deep. I don't want to I want to see you know, like the you know, the the ancient fish that sits at the bottom

Meg O'Neill: 4:40

because you're not creating the kind of content that's like three ways to

Jacob O'Neill: 4:44

Yeah, I'm not and that that I feel that that can and I think that most people will go through a season like this where things start to get boring, but like, the topic that we were, it's it's relevant, and I think we're going to come back and offer some more teaching kind of content on that. But this topic right now I'm just like, fuck it. Let's go. Let's go deep. Let's like really crack open Pandora's box.

Unknown: 5:06

Think we're gonna be cracking open me Maggie's box. Lauren Wallace little Mama's box.

Jacob O'Neill: 5:15

But this is an important topic and I think this is kind of like your journey has been leading you toward this. Well,

Meg O'Neill: 5:21

what unfolded yesterday, which I'll get into details, like,

Jacob O'Neill: 5:25

you'll get the tea that Hey, say that.

Unknown: 5:27

That's very common thing. Me

Jacob O'Neill: 5:30

tick tock relevant. Three ways.

Meg O'Neill: 5:34

You're really handy with that Mark today.

Jacob O'Neill: 5:37

Am I Yeah.

Unknown: 5:40

Okay, anyway.

Meg O'Neill: 5:44

Actually, um, yeah, what unfolded yesterday was just like, I was already feeling and we are gonna get to the topic, we will see what it needs to do in a moment. But I was already feeling like, I think I mean, called to speak to this thing. Like it keeps coming up. For me. It's very alive. For me. I'm sure it's very alive, other women. And then something big happened yesterday. And it was just like, Okay, this is I am being asked to speak on this topic. And the topic is around. I don't even know how to say it. Image Image, yeah, insecurity, beauty standards for women, all tied up into that. And for me a few weeks ago, I thought maybe it was only last week, I really started to there a few days where I felt really insecure. And I hadn't felt this level of insecurity around the way I looked in quite a long time. Actually, that's probably not true, because I had a hair drama about a year and I'm gonna go where a bunch of my hair fell out. And I had to go from being blonde to dark. And it just like, every time I looked in the mirror at my hair, there was almost just like this pang of like, no, oh, and I didn't realize how much my hair and how my hair was just like big and thick and curly. And I would just get to wake up and, you know, fling it to the side. And I would feel like it looked over it. And I'd, it was just a part of my image and part of my identity, and then a bunch of it fell out or broke off. And that really wobbled. Me and that really wobbled me for a while. Then Anyway, last week, yeah, I was just feeling really insecure. And I had this rash on my face that I'm not too sure what it is. And I've been working with a few different things to like, try and work out and it's been there on and off for months. And that was really kind of just like, present and annoying me. And then I hadn't gotten my hands on I'm like, I'm 31 But I'm very gray. I'm very gray. I don't even feel vulnerable to

Unknown: 7:56

like share I think I'm gonna cry on this

Jacob O'Neill: 8:05

oh, god this is big for you like you've been this is I would argue that yeah, ever since the hair thing like this has been a journey for you. This has been like who? Who am I?

Meg O'Neill: 8:15

I just think it's confirmed I'll get into it soon. But I think is a woman like what's been really coming out for me and then I'm so fucking fired up from yesterday. It's because I'm just seeing how much we're sold this story that like there's something constantly to be fixed within us and constantly we have to be so hyper vigilant with like, What is wrong with us? What is wrong with us what is wrong with us and it's a fucking lie and we're being deceived, but it's so it can feel so real as a woman It can feel so it can feel so real. And you know, back to what I was saying around like I got when I was blonde, I didn't know I was gray, or I saw a few and I was like, I couldn't tell it was great. And then I went dark and I saw so gray, I've got so many gray hairs. So I'm at this stage of my life, I don't want to go I don't want to show my grades are like be gray. So I'm getting my hair done. And last I just got my head on today but last week I you know, I could see a lot of Gray's at this rash on my face. And I'm a woman that's choosing to age so I'm not getting Botox I'm not doing anything so like, I'm seeing the texture of my skin change I'm I'm seeing just myself aging and then being pregnant and like I love my pregnant body naked. But then it's been challenging as it's gotten colder I didn't have any clothes to wear so it's just like I was just had this few days of being like I just like did not want to be seen

Unknown: 10:04

Yeah, I was just like such a,

Meg O'Neill: 10:08

you know, I'm, I'm usually such a confident woman and I feel like those things I didn't even know it was so confronting to be with because I didn't know how much I was tied in letting that story. And the beauty standards of our culture affects me, like I would actually would have said, I was someone even before the hair thing happened a year ago, I would have said, I'm someone that doesn't really care about the way I look, or not tied up in that. And that's not fucking true at all. And I don't think any woman is immune to that in our culture, right? Like, there is literally just like, from every fucking direction, you know, information on things telling this narrative telling us that like, you know, it's not safe to age that really came up for me last week, how I was seeing like this. How much my even value the world has told me my value is intertwined with my beauty, and not even my beauty, my youthfulness. And so that was really like, it was almost like, What the fuck? I didn't know the story was here. I thought it was just gonna age and be okay with.

Unknown: 11:28

Surprise, surprise. Yeah. And that's what's

Meg O'Neill: 11:30

felt confronting to be like, Oh, wow, this is affecting me or Wow, this feels, I can feel the part of me. And this is what the world fucking wants, right? I can feel the part of me that wants to contract and be small. That's what I felt last week. I was just like, you know, we had lots of social events on and I was like, on Saturday, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to like there was this part of me that just didn't want to be seen. Which, yeah, again, like the word I keep using is it was really just confronting to be with like my insecurity. And this part of me that wanted to shrivel, because I could see my gray hair. And because I felt my skin didn't look good. And because I felt like I didn't feel sexy. And yeah, there's part of me that just wanted to be small. My love if you are a woman that deeply desires to be claimed, cherished, chosen ravished in partnership, whether you are currently in partnership or not, you are going to want to join me here on the Gold Coast in July, I am holding an in person immersion for three entire days, three entire days devoted to breathing down the walls of your heart, opening your body liberating your expression and becoming a woman able to be claimed, cherished and chosen in partnership. I have not run an in person event or women only event in a very long time. And given the baby I'm about to have I will not for a while after this. So this is a very special opportunity to come and work with me in person with a very intimate amount of women we are going to go deep it is going to be an unforgettable three days. And if you are feeling the call to join us come and apply ASAP, there's limited spaces, you're going to want to go to the link in the show notes or mag dash O'Neill dot com forward slash claimed dash immersion, or just head to my Instagram, all the information is there, I can't wait to be with you. And so all of that was unfolding. And I had quite a few conversations with like some girlfriends around it. And we were, you know, talking about aging and yeah. And then yesterday I saw one of my really good friends at the markets and we were having this conversation and I was sharing with her how I'd gone through you know, a few days of like feeling really insecure and like and she's a woman that's in our early 40s and is again choosing to age and welcome her age if it's sneeze bless you. And so we were just having that conversation around like the deception and the the lies we as women are told about how we're constantly fed this story that something within us needs to be fixed. And then guys the combination of the stories coming and you know like how I was already feeling this thing of like this has been really real for me I think I think this is just something I need to speak into obviously been thinking of like within full spectrum woman potentially having someone to come on and speak about aging, and just like I could just feel it was a conversation that needed to be had. And then this is where my fire kicks in here comes. And I also just want to bring context to, when I was going through that insecurity and seeing that story that I was, I was letting touch me the story of, you know, you must feel sexy and youthful, or you must be beautiful to be able to take up space. Right? That was just like feeling and seeing that I was also then just like feeling this grief of like our world and, and women like that, that so many women live, I would say, many women in the western world live with this story, right? And act on that story and let that story determine so much of the decision making and how they spend their money and what they value and all of these different things. So it was already just like being with more of the collective story around this. And then yesterday, I was sitting alone having lunch at a cafe and someone someone on Instagram messages me and says Hey, and send me a screenshot of a woman's post and says, Hey,

Unknown: 16:11

I think this is you is this you

Meg O'Neill: 16:14

and it was a fucking injectable nurse it was a fucking joke. I was just gonna say where it was and I'm gonna say where it was I won't say at but it was an injectable nurse from MCI that had taken a screenshot of my mouth and put it on her Instagram stories and sorry put it as a tile post on Instagram and said what did she say it was something like should

Unknown: 16:45

we get it out?

Jacob O'Neill: 16:46

I'll get it up and I'll read it out and you unleash the fury yeah don't hold back. Oh, I won't be good not is a gummy smile. Something you can't miss when you see your picture. Don't put up with feeling self conscious. We offer complimentary aesthetic consultations to discuss your concerns

Meg O'Neill: 17:07

and they used you can you can show I don't know if the camera will pick it up but it won't guys it was like it for those of you watching it was like a she was it was an old photo I don't know where they found this photo. But they've this person has found a photo of me screenshotted just my mouth and you guys know I have a huge smile. I have a very gummy smile. You can see my gums you can see my whole fucking mouth I have a huge mouth when I smile. And this woman has screenshotted that and then basically said if you feel self conscious about this when you look in the mirror right Come in come in have it fixed. And then I'm going to add my bestie Christian gray on a shout out to

Jacob O'Neill: 17:51

Christian dot Graham

Meg O'Neill: 17:53

i i sent her and I was like What the actual fuck? Because I immediately messaged this woman and just said hey, because you said oh maybe she got the photo from someone else's something so I just said hey, where it Where did you Where did you get access to this image and your latest post she didn't write back. Kristen commented on the photo. This woman has a beautiful and then the woman wrote back saying yes, she has a beautiful contagious smile but basically was bullied for it in school. That he's like, this woman is pretending I'm a client of hers. This woman is pretending she knows me and it's clearly an image of me. It's so fucked up. It's just like on so many levels it's so fucked up. And I know like it's sorry you're cycling back when we say everything does happen for us and every like, I know this

Jacob O'Neill: 18:50

21 year old Maggie come through this is just like like, what

Meg O'Neill: 18:54

the fuck of course that happened. After I was already just in like deep contemplation and already feeling like the fire of this of like, what we have as women contend with in terms of beauty standards, and like, it wasn't I like I like at the cafe. I was like, What the fuck? And then I got in my car and I had a big cry. And it wasn't even me crying about my smile, because I fucking love my smile. It's like the thing I'm complimented on

Unknown: 19:22

the florist.

Meg O'Neill: 19:25

Or it was just it was even interesting last week when I was having a day where I just felt like at a woman comment on my story being like, Ah, you look so you like so radiant and so beautiful. And I messaged back being like, hey, I really needed that today. Thank you like that. That meant a lot. And then she said to me, every time I look at your smile, I just think that is the world's best smile or like that the world's a better place for that smile.

Unknown: 19:53

And it's just so

Meg O'Neill: 19:56

you know, interest is so so I wasn't I know that there's is one of my my smile my mouth my gummy smile makes me such a radiant being right and what was really what I felt such a great for yesterday when I was in the car was just again like

Unknown: 20:15

the like how we are what word am I looking for

Meg O'Neill: 20:26

I like fucking hypnotized into believing there's constantly something wrong in our bodies and something to be fixed and like I forever will love this card from my teacher lay them on and

Unknown: 20:41

shout out to Leila

Meg O'Neill: 21:02

I heard her say years ago in the training I was in with her and she said we don't have to burn witches anymore we just eat women at eight themselves I truly believe that like we see that and this is just like being so illuminated for me in the last week how like we are living in this culture if you know I'm all women do whatever the fuck you want but it is true that like we are living in a culture which is constantly communicating to women that there is something like that they should hate themselves that they should hate the way they look that there's something wrong that there's something to fix that they're not allowed love something and it till it looks like a fucking replica of perfection and that is just like constantly holding women back from

Unknown: 22:03

their power and like their

Meg O'Neill: 22:07

true is and feeling okay and it is it's like I just forever will love that quote like we don't have to burn witches anymore. We just teach women how to hate themselves like we used to burn witches because we wish the world was threatened by the power they weren't witches they were women they were powerful women and you burn witches because they were a threat um so women can be a threat women in their power women who love themselves women who radiate the threatening to our culture and so you don't want a threatening woman you just create this like story that there is that there is always something to be fixed there is something broken and I'm just so I didn't even know it ever beat want to be a voice for this but like yeah, this is just feeling so real for me right now. And like again, I want to say if you want to go get injectables if you want to go do your thing go do your thing. But like do not tell this woman literally took a photo of me I don't want to fix my fucking gummy smile. Right? And she's basically saying anyone who has this you should feel self conscious about this. Like no do not let like and this last week has really taught me where it will show me where I was buying into that story and I'm so of the belief now. I refuse to let the world tell me something is broken in me I refuse to let the world tell me something is not beautiful or like I can't take up space because ain't getting older or like

Unknown: 24:11

there's just grief I feel for women oh gosh I love you.

Jacob O'Neill: 24:41

I love you. I totally understand the the feeling of grief not just for yourself. I know that's been a feeling that I've I've felt when you know I'm deeply committed and deeply connected to my work, but I have no idea what it's like to feel that way. around this topic, like as a man, it doesn't, it doesn't register as as much, or if at all, really, like, I've never had those feelings. So for you to, to be a stand for that and to speak on behalf of not just yourself, but the collective, the women, and like knowing that we're bringing a child into the world, and we're going to be nurturing and guiding that child, and exposing that child to, to life, like, I'm really clear on, on what stories I want. I want that child to be told,

Meg O'Neill: 25:33

oh my gosh, that that really came through for me today. And like, you know, whether no matter what gender a child is, I feel it's a girl. But just like feeling into, I do not want our future daughters to believe, to constantly believe there is something wrong with the way God created them like, and the way they have been designed to take up space in the world or like to feel like they have to look a different way to be valuable. Like, because that's the piece that's sorry, the piece. Right? Well, that's the piece I'm feeling from the pressure of that story. That's what I feel in my own body of I, if I would have a whatever the fuck, you'd get to fix a gummy smile. If I was to have that, if I was to believe that story and let that story in. It would be I would be a more valuable, desirable woman, if I had that. Right. And maybe somebody that you know, you'd feel better about yourself. But there is I cover my grades. Yes, it makes me feel better. But there's also underneath that a part of me, that feels people would value me differently. If I was to have, you know, a head of fully gray hair at 30 something. Like, that's the fucking truth. I think we like hide behind and again, as paralegals doesn't want to offend anyone. But like, I actually want to call bullshit on I just makes me feel good. Yes, you could feel good with having whatever it is. But underneath that feeling good is also the motherfucking story that you've been sold, that you are less valuable with wrinkles, you are less valuable with whatever the fuck it is.

Unknown: 27:39

And I think it's a woman that was just like, so.

Meg O'Neill: 27:44

It's so heartbreaking to feel that. And I also feel like a woman that is maybe less affected by that than other women like I'm not, I'm not I don't follow celebrities. I don't like I'm not in the world where, you know, beauty is valued. So beauty in a in a, in a very aesthetic. Conventional sense is valued really deeply. I don't I don't run in a lot of those circles. So I'm like, it just breaks my heart to just feel how many women are walking through life. Feeling this and having this story determined so much of how they're living. And

Jacob O'Neill: 28:27

for their true radiance to be like deeply suppressed? Yes. Like,

Meg O'Neill: 28:31

that's the Yeah, sorry.

Jacob O'Neill: 28:36

You started saying a few of those things that you said I was glad to say to

Unknown: 28:42

you. This is like, I also

Jacob O'Neill: 28:45

can't say because it's, you're the one that you have. It has to be you.

Meg O'Neill: 28:49

I think it's so easy for a man to say don't get Botox or don't do this and don't do that. And,

Unknown: 28:54

you know, I

Meg O'Neill: 28:57

you know, there have even been moments for me I'd like where I'm like, oh my god, what would it be like, if our talks were like, I'm feeling insecure about this, you're just gonna say, you're under bucks seek Me as a face and I wouldn't have to feel this feeling. But I'm a woman that's consciously choosing to feel the feeling of my face changing and having to be with that. Yeah, and I also think it's our and you're going to take it somewhere totally different. And I want you to come back to radians, but it's a fear of death. It's a fear of like, I'm still going to talk about this last week. And for those of you that haven't listened to the episode, it's so good. We speak about like, feminine shamanism and the truth of the feminine and like, she's talking about the feminine being destructive and like when we're avoiding the feminine, we're avoiding, like death and decomposition, like we are here to live and like a body decays in a way to nature. You can't just hold a flower in full bloom. Remember, the flower ties, right and like we are trying to totally avoid the

Unknown: 30:09

natural cycle of life.

Meg O'Neill: 30:13

And which simultaneously like part of what makes it's so emotional. But part of what makes a flower so beautiful is that it's not just like, it's like a blessing to witness the flower. And all the stages of a flower is like beautiful, you know, the decomposing rose there, like, it's all beautiful, and

Jacob O'Neill: 30:49

which then returns to the earth and then feeds the next generation. Yes, and

Meg O'Neill: 30:53

we as our culture, just like celebrate, and there's a whole year like that made and that youthfulness and it's like, where then were like, we put so much value in that. And so then we train as soon as we might feel we're passing that at the stage, we don't give value in our culture to the elder to, you know, to the to the mother, the crone energy. So as soon as we feel like we're passing that the maid and beauty that the youth will be at, it's like, how the fuck do I keep myself there, because I don't want to go on to this next stage, I won't be valued in this next stage, I won't be celebrated in this next

Unknown: 31:31

stage. And

Meg O'Neill: 31:34

if we are buying into the story that culture is teaching us that's true, we're going to believe that and it's going to feel that way. But it doesn't have to be that way. Like I am choosing to be a woman and this is going to be an active fucking practice. And this has come through so strong, that refuses to believe that, like refuses to believe that refuses to believe that my value is going to decline. as I age, my value is going to decline, the more wrinkles I have, like, no. And I think even before you were talking about radiance, and I think that's something that you know, is so important a piece here because beauty is not just the aesthetic structure of your face. Or your body like beauty is what radiates through your body. Now you're looking at me right now it's really beautiful. Like beauty is that your body is the vessel that holds holds that beauty.

Unknown: 32:44

And he's just makes that like radiating possible.

Jacob O'Neill: 32:49

And it's aliveness. It's radiating aliveness, the feminine is is if the feminine is like the death, it has to be life as well. Yeah. Your body yeah, like the beauty is, is radiated aliveness. And if there isn't, radiance coming through you and you have to present a certain way and manipulate yourself to feel that or to present as that or hold on to some way that you think you need to look you. You completely deny the essence of who you are. Yes. And that's a feeling.

Meg O'Neill: 33:26

I don't know for me, like if I got to choose to be the most perfectly looking more men hysterically, or a woman that radiates beauty, the truly radiant woman, I would always choose the radiant woman. And yet still, I am someone like, and that's why this last few weeks has been a bit confronting to be like, Oh, I can still feel the part of me that thinks I need to choose that things need to be that. And like, I've always imagined myself as like, a 70 year old woman that's like, wrinkly and like long gray hair and like, I'm I can I can in

Jacob O'Neill: 34:01

lingerie I can feel myself

Meg O'Neill: 34:03

is that and it's also really confronting to be like, I can't just click my feet. Like, I've got to be I've got to meet every story that tells me it's not okay to be that along the way. And like I'm going to be the 40 year old woman and 50 year old six year old woman that's like going into those wrinkles and like, you know, becoming that as well and that feels scary. And it feels scary as again as a woman that's choosing to embrace that in a way. It is very confronting in an age where a lot of women get Botox and a lot of women like I am potentially going to be one of few women that in a space I'm with lots of other women. I'm I could be the only one with wrinkles.

Unknown: 35:04

Right? And so yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot to this compensation.

Jacob O'Neill: 35:11

I'm excited by that I'm excited to meet. I don't think we came like, I often wonder, you know, what did we come here for like what, you know, I've contemplated a lot. And I'm like, I feel like, you know, in my opinion, we're here to set the record straight in the way that we hold ourselves in the way that we journey every step of the path, like every step of the path, like this journey that we take. And it's like you said to be the 70 year old, wise woman, like medicine woman like to weave with stories for, with stories that go on and on and on stories behind your eyes, that when people look into you, they're like, they're looking into infinite Well, of feminine wisdom, that doesn't just, you don't just get that added 70 That just doesn't turn on. And you all of a sudden become this deeply, deeply. Like the steward of the world. Now you get that through walking every fucking step. And if every step that you've taken is to try and hold on to something, and look a certain way, you've spent all of your time trying to be something and layering yourself in things that aren't who you truly fucking are. Yeah, and this is why I believe, you know, we've been so drawn to certain cultures that really celebrate the, the elders, and really celebrate the lineage and the cotton the ancient pneus of their culture. And yeah, for lack of better words, I think the Western world has been, has been indoctrinated into this idea that there isn't value outside of these very specific parameters. Yes. Completely. Yeah. Which is, you know, what, you're what you're currently going through there. Letting go of all that bullshit and standing up and being a stand for it. So if I can excited the way you just spoke, then it was poetry the way you just spoke, it was like, on behalf of that was on behalf of Mother Mother Earth the way you were speaking, talking about death and decomposition in life growing, but coming through, like, that's, that's truth. And it's, you know, it's real. And and people need to hear that. And women need to hear that, from a woman not from a man. They need to hear it from a woman that's going through it. They need to Yeah, this is, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have you speak on anything else. And I

Meg O'Neill: 37:22

think this is like a, I don't know, I haven't heard a lot of women talk about. I haven't heard, I've haven't seen a lot of conversations like this and or just like, I've seen conversations around, like, don't use filters, all of the, like, the beauty standards of at night, I think I think it is, and this is why all of these things unfolded for me to have this conversation is that we need more conversations where women and vulnerably sharing what it's like to be with the process of aging, in a culture that celebrates you if like, we need more, and potentially because they're out there, I'm just at a stage of life also where I'm, you know, meeting that, and even, you know, my not knowing what, not that this is a fear of mine, but like I'm growing a baby, I'm like, you know, maybe I'll look even more tight. Like, I don't know, there's just like lots of I'm in an unknown state of life as well. And I just think these conversations are so important. So women don't feel so alone in the heaviness of that story and the heaviness of the narrative that's being fed to them day after day after day. And again, if you want to go out in the world, and, you know, Botox and filler and do all of these things, I'm not. I'm not saying there's you shouldn't. Right, but I'm also saying look at the story underneath that. There's a fucking story underneath that. Yeah, and it's not just because it feels

Jacob O'Neill: 38:53

it's easy to use that that statement. Yeah. Yeah. Rather than dig deeper. Yeah, this is this is this is like, this is fucking shadow work. Yeah, yeah. Going in, and like taking a real good, hard look at why you're doing the things that you're doing. And then choosing to and then making a decision from that depth of awareness. Totally. Just kind of like it, you do that? You do that a lot. Which means that you have to feel a lot. And I would argue that not not all of it's yours. And

Meg O'Neill: 39:25

that's been very clear for me in this experience. Like the great when I saw that woman screenshotting me I'm like, I was crying. I wasn't crying for me. I wasn't crying to me. I was crying for all the women that believed that all the women that are sold a photo like an image that says like, you know when the fuck if we've never told a gummy smile is wrong or bad or needs to be fixed. We never fucking think there was something to be fixed. And I was even at the hairdresser today getting my hair washed. The two women beside me were going I'm gonna go get a lip flip on my Today cuz I hate my gummy smile. And they had this huge conversation about how much they hated their gummy smiles. And I was just like, Who the fuck told you this, like, the way that's, that's, that's the painful thing. The like innately, there's nothing wrong with that innately a gummy smile does not need fixing. If we were to own that, and you know, that doesn't have to be something that needs that is broken. And that's, that's the painful thing. That's the painful thing. And, again, I don't have a solution to this. And for any woman that's choosing to be with the process of aging, right? I don't think that's going to be a comfortable process for any woman. I think there is beauty in it. And I think there is, you know, beauty in our body changing in beauty. But to get to the place where we can find beauty in our gray hair, find beauty in our wrinkles. That's not easy. Just like a medicine journey isn't easy. Just like you know, being with any process of death and decay is not easy. But I also think that's the medicine journey of stepping into mother stepping into Karuna energy like these, these different state there's a rite of motherfucking passage and house. how

Unknown: 41:20

society is so scared of being initiated terrifies so terrified of death. And like change.

Meg O'Neill: 41:31

Because this is if we're like, taking this into the macro, this is aging is a fear of death and a fear of death is a fear of change is a fear of

Jacob O'Neill: 41:41

stages of life,

Meg O'Neill: 41:42

who will I become through this? Right? The holding on? Like, where can we release the grip and relax into where life is trying to take us? With our body? Yeah, with the way we look. And again, I repeat that I'm not saying that's gonna be I'm not just saying like, have wrinkles and let yourself age and be happy about it. Look in the mirror and be like, Look at my beautiful face like North feel and just like, what I mean maybe three feel feel the part of you that's like, What the fuck, I want to contract I want to shrivel I want to be small, I don't want to be seen.

Jacob O'Neill: 42:24

Feel the feel the ache, feel the loss, feel the grief feel all of that, like that's part of it is is is the letting go? Yeah. And seeing that like feeling like hearing all of those things that you've shared, like there is like, yeah, your hair is turning gray. Yeah, great. That's it, that's a journey that you're going on, that your face will slowly start to wrinkle. And that'll happen. And that's that, it's not that you have to be okay with it straightaway. It's that you have to feel all the things that tell you that that's not okay. And then become to a place where you can get to the point where you're like, This is who I am, or who I am is beautiful. And what moves through me when I accept myself deeply for who I am. That is the that's when the radiance comes online. That's when you start to move and unfurl and reflect like the natural world. Yes,

Meg O'Neill: 43:18

when a woman is caught in that story of okay, I need to perfect and change and do all these things so that I can be beautiful, that I believe that blocks a woman's natural radiance in coming through. Right, it's trying to manipulate ourselves to look a certain way so that we can feel beautiful. Right? And you know, it is the resting into our feminine essence the resting into an opening to who were here to be that is what is radiance. My love's thank you so much for tuning into this episode, we are jumping in to offer you a 50% off discount code to our signature couples scores, ignite your intimacy. This

Jacob O'Neill: 44:12

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Meg O'Neill: 44:33

been together six months or two decades. This course is going to give you the skills and tools to experience a sexier, wilder, more more alive relationship and it's designed to do that in just four weeks. So my loves the cost is usually 444 Aussie dollars. You as our loyal podcast listeners are getting it for 222 Australian dollars. You are going to use the discount code love 50 At the end Check out that's all capitals love 55 Oh, you can either head to the show notes for the link or head on over to mag dash O'Neill dot com forward slash ignite dash your dash intimacy. And that's love 50 at the checkout for 50% off. I was, um, I was watching the Barbie movie I hadn't ever watched until the other day and watched it just here on an afternoon filter tide this week.

Jacob O'Neill: 45:31

You've been, you've been sizing up this huge emotional release, you're probably going to feel your tie before this, you will hop off this podcast, I'll

Meg O'Neill: 45:38

be like, let's go to prison. Yeah, and

Jacob O'Neill: 45:40

I'm like, yeah, we've been going through the you know, making sure that you feel chosen and repolarizing make sure everything's you know, it's just been going on. And I'm gonna take you to Brisbane to see a band and before this podcast are more tired, they'll be able to go after this, you're gonna be bouncing off the walls, you're gonna be so happy because you felt what you need to feel. Because you're here to be a leader you're here to if I can speak on behalf of the women who don't have that voice yet that haven't connected to that part of them and like, that's who the fuck you are. You're here to take the arrows. You're here to upset people. You're here to upset the applecart. You're here to fucking right the wrongs that have been written by probably men from this whole system, and it's created a fuckery and our souls won't let it but will not let us stand idle or standby or choose some other mediocre or fucking miscellaneous path just to be able to pay the bills we weren't would go go go down in the fucking blaze of glory. We would rather I would rather die in the pursuit of truth and live a lie. And I will not do that. And I feel that deep down you're the reason that I live like this. So anything that you don't fucking anytime you don't fucking remember that it's, you know, you normally end up tired and in resistance and all you gotta do is fucking bring this alright. Okay. Brother

Meg O'Neill: 47:06

I was watching the Barbie movie the other day. And there's this moment where Margot Robbie as Barbie, maybe people have read. I'm just gonna say one moment that I love from that movie. That Margot Robbie as Barbie has like come out into the real world and she's sitting at the bus stop and only in Barbie world is there like beautiful, perfect women. And she's sitting at this bus stop Barbie and she looks over and there's this old woman like this this 78 year old woman and she Margot Robbie just looks over to her and she goes you're so beautiful. And I just for good. I just been fit like there was like just such a truth to that like, like that. Like yes, there is like such beauty in allowing that process and yeah, the radiance that comes with just leaving. And yeah, that was just so moved by that moment. Yeah, and I think it's so we can all I think as women there's something else I want to come back to that you said to me the other day too, but as women I think we we can feel the fucking difference. You know the difference between a woman that might not be conventionally beautiful she might have a gummy fucking smile. Maybe our eyebrows aren't in line maybe? I don't know what's something else for you. Maybe she's got we had texted skit I don't know like, but but she is taking up space and you can feel her and the world can feel right. Versus a woman that is perfect looking. But you can't feel isn't taking up energetic space for you to feel like our world teaches us be that woman. Be that woman that looks perfect. That's what value is. That's That's what you should want to be. No, we're being fucking lied to be the woman. Our goal should be the woman that wants to be fucking felt by life wants to be felt by the world. Like is freely unapologetically taking up space and letting the world like meet her and feel her like that's what's desirable to a man that's what's desirable to or are in a deep man a conscious man like yes He can appreciate beauty and perfection but if that if that doesn't come with being able to feel no

Jacob O'Neill: 49:47

do you agree? Yeah, fucking I I'm I probably based on the fact that I do. I feel my way through the world. I don't like walk up and touch people without consent of course. But um If I if I can see a woman that presents as societally pretty or beautiful or hot, and I can be completely and utterly neutral toward her, based on my body, my body My body came I can I can register our USA societally beautiful, but I don't feel anything. Yeah. And I'm not feeling that. But then there's other times where I'm drawn to I can feel the magnetic pull of a feminine like drawing me and I'm like, I need to, like, I need to go and talk to them. It happened the other day on the beach, when I, there was a woman with a dog and she would have had it she was pregnant. It's just like, talking. I'm like, Oh my God, you're so fucking beautiful. Did you say that? No. That was just like feeling that was like us. I was like, I want to talk. I want to, I want to do things for you. Be near you. And I think that that's, that is the way that the feminine moves the world, the feminine leadership. This is you know what you're speaking to, it's not about saying fuck the Man, fuck man, or I'm going to present as this pretty beautiful thing that looks this certain way to get what I want. Yeah, it's the feminine moves the masculine through her deep truth. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 51:10

And adorn yourself. And like, if you want to do things that make you feel like, I like wearing nice things. And I do feel great when I have my hair done. And all of these things, even the other day when I wasn't feeling great. And then you bought me clothes, and I did my makeup and my hair. And I was like, I feel I feel really sexy. Like, I'm not denying that these like, external things can allow us to feel a certain way and give us permission to open and offer more of our radiant. That's self

Jacob O'Neill: 51:36

care and self expression, that that's the key there that I'm hearing. It's like self care and adorning and yeah, and I'm almost like creating these offerings to, you know, in service to, you know, the altar. That is your body's like, I'm gonna adorn you in this beautiful, matching knit outfit. I'm gonna wear these matching knits. I'm gonna Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm going to Yeah, look after myself. Yes, that is a completely different thing to I need to change the way that I look. Because what the way that I look isn't right. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 52:07

And then just one other piece I want to bring was the other day when I was in the throes of just feeling insecure. And I said to you aren't. I mean, like that. I'm a friend Kristen and taking a video and I was like, I was sharing with you how I felt insecure. And I was just a bit like, not feeling good about myself. And I was like, you know, and I was just trying to I was letting you in, on like, what was alive for me. I was just like, I just gonna, this feels really vulnerable. And I'm gonna reveal what's been what I've been moving through. And I was like, you know, that video like Kristin tagged us and I looked at that and I was like, I really don't like the way I look. And you just looked at me and you were like and there was so much genuine genuineness to the innocence it was such innocence and genuineness and you're like,

Unknown: 52:57

I looked at that really thought he looks so beautiful like my wife is so beautiful

Meg O'Neill: 53:11

and I think that's why it's like we as women need to realize it's a fucking lie. Well, we've been sold like what we've been taught to believe is we need to be or what we've been taught to believe like in that moment my hair is frizzy. And I think even though I love my smile I think my I felt like my smile my somebody looked weird. And you're like I love that you have so beautiful and so yeah, I just think that's an important piece to bring to the conversation that you know our own insecurities again with the lip the with the lady call it the gummy smile thing. I've been told my beautiful friend who was in conversation with at the markets and I called her that afternoon to you won't believe after her conversation today. And she was like, What if people told asked me to write the best smiles have ever seen yours would be top five top three. And it's like so everything's fucking subjective or objective

Jacob O'Neill: 54:18

subjective I think is like I don't actually know I think it's subjective.

Unknown: 54:22

Don't correct listen.

Meg O'Neill: 54:25

Everything's subjective. Yeah, like, who gets to fucking say that's beautiful and that's not Yeah. Like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill: 54:42

I think you're most beautiful when you give life when you when you give life full permission to flow through you.

Meg O'Neill: 54:49

And I and I feel that in myself and I also when I witness other women, the most beautiful women I feel a wit like Like before talking about like elders and that Crona energy. I like love the work of Jane Hardwick callings. And I got to be in, you know, a space last year for like a pregnancy and birth workshop. And she'd be a woman in her 60s gray hair. She's wearing this t shirt that says, revolutionary woman on it. She's just like, badass. Like, she swears she was a she was a midwife for years. And then like, got out of the system, and is just like, phenomenal and teaches on rites of passage and the feminine and feminine shamanism. And I walked out of that space. And I literally said to the women I was with, like, I've never seen a more beautiful man. And that was so that was actually one of the things that hit me most from that day to be like, it was so refreshing to see a woman with the braincells. And he went to look around that space. And, you know, it's a very particular group of women. But like, you know, there were there were women that which do aging, you know, women in their 30s 40s 50s. And they were wrinkles. And there was, you know, different bodies. And there was, you know, mothers holding babies and breastfeeding and like, there was just like the full spectrum of woman in its physicality. Not just its emotion, but its physicality. And yeah, I just moved me so much being in that workshop to be like, like, I want to be like that. I want to be that woman in a sea of like, you know, youthfulness, youthfulness, I want to be the woman that people like for freshed by and yeah, and then I had Jane on on inside full spectrum woman and again, I just just like I yeah, I respect and love that woman so much and what she stands for.

Jacob O'Neill: 56:58

Just imagine what it's like it's 70 in your like, in your you're in full spectrum woman, and you've got hundreds of women sitting on a call with you're sitting in a room with you. He was like to be 70 and have like your daughters and the nieces sitting around you and you're like sharing deep wisdom because you chose to live in alignment with the truth. You chose to let go of any stories and feel the losses that you needed to feel and embrace then the next chapter is imagine what it's like. That's 50 that's 40 years time I love imagine what it's like after a lifetime of feeling this, this and treenode traversing these these deep moments of feeling imagine what's going to be imagine what it's going to be like, you're going to be able to impart and share with the world through a devotion to your your truth. Like that's fucking like that, to me is going to be Yeah, I look forward to I look forward to the journey. And the moment that I get to. I'll probably be in the kitchen helping out or doing something. I'll be able to be there or was it just women only?

Meg O'Neill: 58:03

I'm not sure.

Jacob O'Neill: 58:05

Sure. Do you like going in zooming out? That

Meg O'Neill: 58:09

scares me? That scares me at all. Like, Oh, God. That's what I'm gonna be doing when I'm 70 I definitely know how I want to feel when I'm 70 I know there's gonna be grandchildren and like, but yeah, I haven't I don't I probably don't take my workout or like my, my vision out to that to that far. But I don't know, it's I think a conversation like this widens my work and widens my vision and like why would I really want to be in conversation around?

Jacob O'Neill: 58:42

I'm so excited for you.

Meg O'Neill: 58:44

Thank you. I wanted to I wanted to say something and I don't remember what it was. No, that is what we we've been told a valuable woman is a woman that looks aesthetically a certain way a valuable woman is a woman that let's live life like let's life moves through her and is consistently saying yes to the process of like life and death and rebirth and decay and all of it like she's letting she's allowing life to make him more of her. Like she's letting life evolve her and mold her like that's that's a that's a radiant beautiful, valuable woman. She's not every woman is fucking valuable, but I am sure you get the essence of what I'm saying here like can we celebrate that

Unknown: 59:40

that is that is true value.

Jacob O'Neill: 59:44

That is to me that what you're talking about is like that, that surrender. I'm surrendering to life. Yeah. And in surrendering to life, I must embrace these cycles of death and rebirth that allow me to become more of the woman More, more, not more of a woman but more of I get to experience more of what more of the spectrum of woman.

Unknown: 1:00:08

Yeah

Jacob O'Neill: 1:00:11

I'm excited.

Unknown: 1:00:12

I love you THIS HAS BEEN

Jacob O'Neill: 1:00:14

Do you know how important your work is for the world? Do you understand that? Yeah, do you do you forget sometimes as well? Like this is like this, like this is revolutionary like these conversations you know this. The people that listen to this are going to be deeply moved and you know this this isn't just for you and just filled with women now is for our you know, our baby that's in your belly. Imagine what she's already getting to feel and receive from you. Because you're choosing to do this. Imagine how incredible it's going to be like steward the next generation. Lucky away.

Meg O'Neill: 1:00:53

I love you so much of the best. Thanks for being here for this teary, emotional. I thought it was gonna get way more fiery. It was just like me moving through the depths of

Jacob O'Neill: 1:01:04

the fires coming.

Unknown: 1:01:06

Diving, go fill the fire. Yes. Yeah, I just I think the grief is what is underneath that to

Jacob O'Neill: 1:01:16

one of the boot I've been really wrapped up in grief, not sorry. I've been really immersing myself in the topic of grief. And they say that the only true beauty only comes from grief, which is the feeling of loss, which is the feeling of letting go. Which is the feeling of like, for me it's like a life well lived is the one that is had grief, of grief woven into it and not avoided and like you said, the that idea of being you know, this whole being rooted in a fear of death means that we're also avoiding grief. Yeah, and when you grieve, like you're right, you're you're just like beaming right now your eyes, clear your smile is big. Your heart is open your belly, everything I can feel I can feel you can feel your presence right now. And it makes me want to make sure to go and do better makes you want to live my life in in more deeply connected to the truth. Like it's inspiring my love. So thank you for choosing to grieve and reveal the deeper beauty that is always there.

Unknown: 1:02:24

I love you. Thanks for holding me and being a part of life's a trip Hades. Yeah. Wild. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill: 1:02:32

I'm doing it with you. I love doing it with you guys. We love you and appreciate you. And if this conversation moves you come find me the DMS I'd love to continue it in some way, shape or form. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill: 1:02:47

this is an ongoing conversation. This is something that I'm really excited to support you in standing for. And we'll be here for all of the arrows and all of the challenges and all of the things that come because this is this is what I'm devoted to I love this energy. I'm here for you. Let's fucking go.

Meg O'Neill: 1:03:02

And one more, one more request if you buy this conversation, wherever you listen to the podcast, whether it's on YouTube, or Apple or wherever, wherever we would love you to subscribe and review. This just helps these conversations. please expand out especially because I'm sensitive and shut up and on Instagram.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:03:24

Get the word out there for us. We would really appreciate it. Oh, you would.

Unknown: 1:03:27

We love you. We'll

Meg O'Neill: 1:03:28

see you next week.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:03:29

Bless Uplus up. Peace. Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Sex love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan i You can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover

Meg O'Neill: 1:03:48

at the dot mag dot o amazing

Jacob O'Neill: 1:03:53

and yeah guys check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions, like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Thanks for being here. Big Love