Ep 67: Q+A - Our Wild Pregnancy, birth plan & more

Meg and Jacob are excited to be parents!

In this episode,  Meg and Jacob share their experiences and anticipations about the dynamics of their relationship, especially with the impending arrival of their first child. They delve deeply into discussions about intimacy, responsibility, and the transformative journey from partners to parents.

They also answered questions around their conception journey like:

• Did Meg experience any pregnancy symptoms?  
• How does Meg navigate through the changes in identity from maiden to mother?
• How do you think having a baby will impact your intimacy?
• What are the top parent qualities they see in each other?

They also riff off on:

• Jacob and Meg shared their emotional challenges over the past few months, including grief, disconnection, and Meg's pregnancy.
• Meg discussed her preparation for pregnancy, including gut and thyroid work, to ensure her body was ready for conception.
• Meg and Jacob are opting for a 'wild' pregnancy and medically unassisted home birth, with a doula present but no medical professionals involved.
• Meg feels fiercely certain in her choices for her pregnancy and wants to experience birth and motherhood without medicalization.
• Both Jacob and Meg expressed excitement for the initiation of birth and their journey into parenthood together.
• Jacob looks forward to being present, patient, and helping their future children understand and explore life.

...and many, many more.

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:  

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU


Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 

Transcript

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When you've got someone who is you're literally right or die, like when someone commits to you on that level. It's not about like the relationship always being happy go lucky. Like, it's not about the fact that like, oh, something's there's conflict here. Let's get it over and done with. So we can have that deep connection and go back to being in bliss. It's like, this is a season of Jacob going through a fucking dark night of the soul. Yeah. And I'm going to hold the torch. And I'm going to trust that this is going to take as long as it takes, and I'm going to honor him with the truth of my heart, as I see fit, and I have to trust me, like this is the part with faith and trust of self is essential. Because if you try to use a book or a formula, or an algorithm or process to get to where you need to, you'll you'll never break through. You will never break new ground and create another layer of connection in your relationship. Yo, yo, yo lovers Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between where the O'Neill's you're here with Meg and Jacob. And this is the place we have really uncensored conversations about sex, intimacy and relationships. We're super excited. You're here. Enjoy this episode. Hey, lovers. Hey, lover. Hi. I missed this. You have missed this in like a month since with podcasts podcast it it has been Yeah, well and truly a month. It's been a wild month, too. It has been a wild month. It's been one of those months. It's been a challenging month of deep transition and deep emotion holding on for dear life and grit. My favorite word to describe seasons like that is like Grady. Yeah. You know, when you're experiencing things that you wouldn't necessarily choose things out? Sailing? Let's Yeah, it's gritty. What's been happening for you my love to tell everyone your deepest, darkest secret. Last month. This is going to be pregnancy q&a. Or any night. Guess who's pregnant? I'm having a baby one of us. We are not pregnant. When people say we're pregnant. I have gone to say it a few times. Yeah. And it's a lie. Because you are pregnant. It's a strange thing to want to like I want to. I want to feel together. And this is a co creation. So it can feel like when I want to say like were having a baby if I were pregnant. Anyway, I'm pregnant. Jacob and I are having a baby. Yes. So we're going to answer your questions. But yeah, let's give a little more calf on last month. So deepest, darkest secrets. I feel like for me, you've been really fucking in it the last probably six weeks. Yes. And what was most challenging for me was meeting you in that. And yes, showing up for you in that. And I feel like I did a pretty epic job of it. That that was just moments of Yeah, can I can I can I go into detail but I asked you to speak. When when your chat like and you had some, you know, hectic things go on in your life. And one of the things that can sometimes happen for you is you you tap out a little or you become a bit emotionally unavailable. And that that bit, I had a lot the love in that period of time, which was completely understandable. And this was my practice during that time is that I'm so fed by our relationship and I'm so fed by you, and what you bring and give to me and how emotionally available you are. And so it was really challenging to not have that but to also be walking the line of I'm gonna hold space for whatever is a live view right now. I'm not going to pressure you to be something for me. And that was also really challenging. Yeah, and then we had to have some fierce chats at the coming out until the back end of that season. And what was the essence of of a little that I wasn't really what it was I not that I was like I'm I'm fully owning everything but also what do you feel like what do I What did I forgotten? That you deserve to be happy? Yeah. And then I can have fun. You have fun? I was taking off a bit too seriously. So seriously, and again, some some challenging things that are reason that had had warranted a seriousness. Yeah, approach to life of course. Definitely. And yeah, we experienced death and Like all the all of these different things, and also in having been pregnant was, I don't think it was till we came out of that season of challenge that you probably realized, oh, fuck, I think there was part of me that has almost like feels this. I don't know if you'd call it pressure, but almost this like, maybe it is the texture of seriousness because oh my gosh, I'm going to be father and I've got to provide and like, yeah, I didn't feel like there was any space for fun because I needed to step into a level of responsibility, yes. And then not having the time and space to really be with that cultivating that responsibility, because so many things happened. In the space of six weeks, there's been so many things happen that have been Yes, indeed. I would argue this probably been one of the most challenging periods of my life. Yeah. And I would say one of the most challenging periods of our relationship definitely, yeah. And like, yeah, when, when I become emotionally unavailable, there is a clear disconnection between our hearts. Yeah, and that Fox up our sex life massively, oh, my gosh, our sex life is like non existent, non existent for a little while, you were really worried about you, I, I take that. So personally, and I. And this is also like, I and I feel like a lot of women resonate with me when I say this, when, as a deeply feeling, woman, sometimes when you're feeling something, there is a feeling of like, I am never not going to feel this, like this is going to be my experience forever. Even though you know, as women, we trust the cycles. And we've you know, we we realized that life is cyclical that can be like this essence of this is my reality forever now, or this is the feeling I'm going to feel forever. And I was I was really moving through a lot within myself around like, around our sex life and around our intimacy. Because at first when I got I didn't have a real strong libido, when, when I was in the early stages of pregnancy, I had probably a month where I wasn't feeling that great. And, you know, I didn't feel I didn't feel sexually alive or erotic. And then on the back of that you were going through challenges and we weren't quite we weren't quite disconnected. And so yeah, my internal experience was, oh, my gosh, we again, now we're bringing a child into the world. Are we ever gonna have sex? Is this it? Is this gonna be the day we never having sex ever again for the rest of our lives? I think your grasp of things is, is yes, you're a deeply, deeply feeling one but you also like honor, no, not deeply feeling and just dramatic? Both? What I, I definitely want to tell you that you're wrong in those modes be like, can you just like chill the fuck out? Can you not like make this a big deal? Can we just like, get through this next little bit? Yeah. And that's my like, just grind. nose to the grindstone. Let's just make it through and come up for air when we're when we've got some space. And that's what I feel is like you're even though it does feel overly dramatic to me who's completely emotionally closed off in the moment, it's, Oh, you're here to remind me that this, if we don't address this, if we don't actually like, become aware of this, then we're going to just continue down this path. Yes. And I speak to so many men in you know, I just want to like slip a little nugget of gold in here for anyone listening is that is one of the greatest gifts that you will receive from the feminine from your woman, whether that's from your own feminine energy, whether that's from the water, the mother nature, from anything is that this gift of like, this is what's here now. And if you have someone in your life that brings that you get to learn how to honor that and integrate that because like I've said to so many men, if you don't address what's going on, I suppose to a lot of money, like oh, what just, you know, I'll get through the next 10 years. And then once we've done we've, you know, we've sacrificed everything, and we'll have gotten to that point, then I can actually do the things I want. And I say, okay, cool. But what if for the next 10 years, you tell yourself, I'm not allowed to have what I want. Until then, then you spent 10 years everyday telling yourself, I've just got to do this, then I'll be happy, I've just got to do this, then I can address what's really going on. I've just got to do this, then I can be with my emotions. In the, you know, when the 10 years is up, you've created an identity around I just have to suffer. And I never actually get to feel or approach or be with what actually is here right now. Yeah. And I have the blessing of a woman, a wife, a lover, a mother to be that place beside me every night that does not allow me to go a day without that awareness. I just have and this is a something I have, you know, activated within me and this is Something I teach other women is, I cannot push things under the rug anymore. I cannot ignore the truth of the moment. And that, oh, you're gonna say, What do women what do women call themselves when they don't bring that in? What's like for me? Or your what do you? What do you mean? Like if a woman feels that like that is too dramatic, or that is something that they can't bring to their relationship? What's the from? What's the like the belief that they're going to be too much? Yeah, that's the That's exactly it. And that's the pace. And the thing for me, I know that part of me is in service to our relationship. Yes. So I don't find it a selfish quality, you might say. And externally, it might look selfish when I want to have a conversation at 10pm at night, or like, when you're going through and, you know, I want to also, you know, bring some nuance in here, like, you were really going through it and I was giving you space, and I was allowing you to be in it. But there did come a time where this was like, Okay, this needs to be a conversation and okay, there's something here that I'm being called into bringing, like, I'm it's the article right? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of call you on your bullshit right now. You've had your time. Oh, yeah, like, that's such a gift for for for someone who, like for me who like, I genuinely have, like, thought my whole entire life that I've had to earn my right to be happy. I've had to earn my right to be loved by people. And I've had to earn it through like giving so much. And like the idea of receiving and like the fact that you're willing to literally penetrate me with your love and refuse to let me hide from it is like illuminating, and it is fucking terrifying. And terrifying means terrific. I love the way you just put that like, because feminine energy can be penetrative at times it can be and we like love can be penetrative at times. And the feminine is in devotion and in service to love. And if we are seeing something for a man, and continuing to allow him to play out in that, like that is not loving, that is not in service to the vision and the entity of the partnership. And I am not giving women right now listening permission to coach their partner. This is very different. This is and this is something if you don't understand the difference come into a practice space come in and work with me deeper like to understand the nuance of trying to coach your partner because you think you know better than him. Versus Hey, I'm seeing something or I'm this is the pain I'm bringing you what what you're being right now. Like I see more for you. Yeah, and that's like the piece that I would say I feel in that as like I feel your fierce heart Your lioness. It's the You are the king of the fucking jungle. Don't ever fucking forget that. That Yep. And it's like, I'm not gonna let you I'm not gonna let you play into this story anymore. Because it is not true. And I will love you and accept you in your in your your mess. And I'm going to be the one that calls you to resurrect. Yeah, and that's such a that's that there's a risk there for you because I could pull away even more like I could literally pull away I'm like, Well, no, I don't want that. I want to step away from this relationship. Like you almost have to put down relationships like will you feel like this is no longer serving you? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna call you to step up and in in this relationship I'm going to hold that that standard for you because I know that's what you're here to hold yourself to. May I share that and this might feel like a very vulnerable moment. Did ya know it can I share that? Yeah, I'm I want to share everything on this happy like everything and there was a moment this is really almost like the climax the climax point out like the challenging month we had it with you just we just both had a trip back to your family, which was horrible was really challenging for you. You brought a lot up and we came back home and I'd said something where you didn't feel like I was supporting you at all. And and you really you really went into a I really was I reacted you reacted but the reacted the reaction turned into more. You were just with what was a lie. It was almost like everything from the last month it was just like could not hold itself in your body any longer. I'd reached a tipping point and so you you wanted to be alone and you're off And because you have a pattern of I want to do this alone Don't come near me. I also don't feel safe, like, around people to be like, like I, I in the past when I've reacted in that way, and gone into an emotional, like a season of an experience of like deep emotional release. People have tried to fix me or they've like latched on to me. And it's okay. Don't worry, don't worry, they like tried to, like, pacify me, and not let me actually have that experience. Yeah. And I'm also very, very, like, I'm scared, I feel dangerous. I feel I feel this destructive. So there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I don't want to, I don't want anyone to be near me in case I hurt them. Or in case I hurt myself, or in case I do something embarrassing. Yeah. And in that moment, I wanted to come in and, and connect and find that place, you know, turn this moment of conflict into deeper connection. And you were just like know, leave me alone, which is not something that ever really goes down in our relationship ever. No, we never really say hey, no, like, it's usually there might be a trigger there. And we might be activated. But but we really meet in the moment. So I gave you the space. And then and this is what we're really talking about in terms of the feminine Oracle, like I knew, even though you were telling me to go away. I needed to be in that room with you. Yeah. And so I walked back in, I opened the door. And even though and again, this is so nuanced, because we want to listen to our partner, I want to trust a partner, and respect them. But I knew that this was going to be for this to be a doorway to really deep healing for not only you but us as a couple, I had to fucking walk back into that room. And I had to, this makes me emotional. I had to bring in that energy of like, no, like, It's safe to let me witness you in this. It's safe to be seen in this. It's safe to be held in this. And you will literally on the floor, like crying and really feeling deeply. And I just came and put my hand on you and was just silent. And you know, this was for maybe half an hour in the end that I just stayed and even when, you know, he was saying I want to be alone. I just stayed and stayed and stayed and stayed. And yeah, it was such a beautiful, beautiful moment. When that opening came. Yeah, that was extremely healing. And I yeah, I just did not want you there is just so did not want any I was like no, this is not for this is not for anyone to experience about me. And I really wanted to default to my my usual, I'll just do it myself. And, yeah, I'm sure a lot of men can relate to this. It's like, if I let you see me in this, you won't love me. But this part of me isn't lovable. And that's the gift that you continue to give me my love. Is that your love you teach me to love the parts that I don't believe are worthy of love. Yeah. And that's yeah, that was so that was that was terrifying for me to like to give in to that emotion to like, literally give in or like surrender to it. And then have you loved me through it. Yeah. And yeah. That was hard. And I think this is one of the most beautiful things when we have been together in partnership for a long time with someone, you understand their patterns. And like I you know, you said I knew that you didn't want me there because it didn't feel safe. And you had that story of this is just for me. And she doesn't get to witness me in this. Because that's too vulnerable. That's going to affect how she said whatever it is, I knew that and so I kept reminding you, you know, I let me love you in this. I think I was telling you that let me love you in this. Yeah, I want to love you in this. Yeah, I remember as a kid I remember when i i What did I do? I was yeah, he had blown up on the softball field. I think I've told the story a few times, but this is kind of just deepening the stories like I yelled at my teammates and stormed off and was a bad sport and was upset. And I remember that night I was in the shower and my mum came in I was like a 10 or 11 year old boy like just about to go through puberty. My mom came storming in and just like lashed out at me and I was like, I was already crying. I was emotional. I felt like a piece of shit and mom came in and just started screaming at me about how I'd disrespected the family and all of these things and I was grounded forever or like just completely annihilated me. And yeah, it was like I Yeah, it's so funny. Like I've like closing the door being in contained spec I feel safe when I'm like, tucked away from people. Yeah, like, I can. Yeah, for me, like being contained spaces away, like where people can't get me is so important to me like, like, because it's where I feel safe. And people can't get me and I just Yeah, I think that was the piece that I was worried about was like that you were going to come in. And like, because I'd acted a certain way you were going to tell me that I was wrong for feeling what I was feeling. But you didn't as you always do. You're perfectly No, I'm really not, but I'm not perfect. I'm good at loving you, you're very good at loving me. And I think that's like, like, for me, that's one of the blessings of a longer term relationship when you go through the seasons. And even though you know, the past six weeks I've yet I have been in it. Like, when you've got someone who is you're literally right or die, like when someone commits to you on that level. It's not about like, the relationship always being happy go lucky. Like, it's not about the fact that like, oh, something's there's conflict here, let's get it over and done with. So we can have that deep connection and go back to being in bliss. It's like, this is a season of Jacob going through a fucking dark night of the soul. Yeah. And I'm gonna hold the torch. And I'm going to trust that this is going to take as long as it takes. And I'm going to honor him with the truth of my heart, as I see fit. And I have to trust, like this is the part where faith and trust of self is essential. Because if you try to use a book, or a formula, or an algorithm or process to get to where you need to, you'll you'll never break through, you'll never break new ground and create another layer of connection in your relationship, there's going to be a level of vulnerability and courage and exposure required for you guys to go to that next level. And that's essentially what Yeah, well, and for me, I'm so good at like doing that when you're in it. You're in the mess. But when I'm in the mess, I'm like, this is this is this is it, the relationships over, I'm moving back to evil, I'm quitting my business, I'm gonna get a job. I'm gonna get back and I'm gonna do what I've always done and play it safe. Because this is all too fucking much. Yeah. I think those moments and I really, you know, I think this is part of our purpose in bringing these kinds of conversations forth is that you're right, like, if you're in a long felt like we've been together, almost 10 years. Yeah, cause there's going to life happens. Yeah. And I think even more so moving into this journey of parenthood, if we aren't devoted to staying and holding in the gritty moments, if we are just so hell bent on grabbing a hold of the great moments, or expecting our partner to be great all the time. Like, no, and those moments where life is really happening for one of you, or both of you. And it feels greedy. That's actually such a beautiful opportunity to route down deeper into the, you know, the roots of their relationship with the roots of your devotion. That's actually a perfect time to read. Devote yourself to this person. Yeah, to find it like a deeper texture of your devotion. And what's devotion, if it isn't challenged, right, like devotion requires like Courage requires devotion is only devotion, it calls you deeper into something that's like, that's what commitment is, that's what that's what like saying yes to something that you don't fully know where it's going. Like that's, that's what like, for me marriage is that's what like a relationship that operates at this depth, is it saying yes to all of it. And the thing that I've always always said to and I like men, men are starting to understand this. And what I love about our relationship is like, it's going to ask for a little more than you want to give. It's always going to ask for a little more than what's comfortable for you to give. That's what sacrifices that's what that's what it means to make sacred, a relationship, a business, a friendship, a meal, whatever, it's going to ask you to give a little more than is comfortable. And that's what I believe is like the journey of life is to give in a way that you trust you are going to receive whatever it is that you need back. Yeah. Okay, it feels really beautiful to to share about that. And that feels complete. Okay, shall we move on anything else you want to bring before we move on to the q&a? We've moved into a new house? We have well, we're out of that season. Yes. We had incredible sex today. Did we? Really? Yeah, we did. This is also something that you always remind me when we're in a season of not having as much sex or when we go to have sex and it again, it feels gritty or even last night we went we had the best day ever and then went to make love and you started tying me up and doing all these things and then I just got super emotional. And then it just turned into you like holding me and hugging me. And there was a part of me that was just like, why the fuck? Why is this happening again? And then you just reminded me again, you were like, remember, this always happens. And it always leads to like the greatest sex ever. And we did have incredible sex today. Yes. Yeah. And I think being able to ride those seasons of the relationship knowing that it's preparing you for, you know, more depth, more openness, more connection more. Yeah. Yeah. Deeper texture of intimacy than ever before. Oh, we have moved into a new house. It feels really good. This is the house or birth our baby. And we're currently sitting in our lounge room. We've got the podcast studio all set up. You can notice the brick at the background. We have air con right now. So today, we're waiting and freaking out about the temps. So it feels really good to be landing here. And yeah. Thanks for Thanks for sticking with us. We've been Yeah, we've been MIA for the last couple of weeks. I know. Thank you. And we're back in action. So yeah, we're gonna be dropping in. We've got a few guests lined up as well. I've got a few guests lined up that are coming on in the next couple of weeks. And yeah, let's let's dive into these questions. Hey, let's go. That was by far the longest intro we've ever done. 26 minutes came for the pregnancy q&a. Hopefully you just skipped there. Alrighty, so we've had a bunch of questions come in, we have, and I'm going to read them out to you to begin with. So is the tell us about your is that the first one. Tell us about your preconception journey? Yeah, let's do that. Let's start with that. So my love. Tell us about your preconception journey. Ooh. For me, I feel like we can talk about it physically, and then emotionally and spiritually, I think I'll just talk emotionally and spiritually, physically. I feel like we've known for like, seven years, probably seven years that we wanted to have a child together. And this is, that's always been a conversation. It's never been one of us having to convince the other it's always been we want this together. We actually thought we were really ready maybe like four years ago. And we weren't and we were not. And I'm so glad that we didn't end up really choosing that we would have been jumping the gun majorly. And so it's probably been the last two years that we were like, well, since we got married at the end of 2022. Yeah, we were like, Okay, we know we're going to choose this in the next year or so. But we're also wanting to build our businesses a little more. I wanted to prepare my body physically. I loved that time, though. I love that time between our wedding. And, you know, we ended up conceiving or deciding to be ready to conceive January 2020, through 2024. And so that time was really I really loved that time because it was like, we knew we wanted to be pregnant. But we weren't open to it to physically being pregnant. We were moving. Yeah, like we were like excited about the idea of it. But we weren't like, let's get started as quickly as possible. That's actually enjoy the prep that preparation. We were really conscious about being in the conception phase or the pre conception phase. And so for me that looks like I had some gut issues happening a few years ago. So probably almost two years ago. I did a lot of like gut. You know, I did a big gut. Gut reset with my naturopath and friend Talia. And that was really amazing. And then when I was really sure Okay, in the next six months, we're gonna fall pregnant. I went and got all these bloods done I worked with Talia again had some thyroid pieces to kind of clean up I did a bit of a liver cleanse to support that. I started taking you know a bunch of hubs and different things to support myself so I probably did a good for I went off coffee. I started not that I drank a lot but you know, I I stopped really having an alcohol. Yeah. Stop it doing other things. Yeah, we stopped doing any substances, any medicines. And yeah, I was just in that was really preparing my body in that way. And that felt so beautiful again, I loved I loved like, that felt that felt like almost being pregnant. That was like I'm choosing this and I'm sure I'm not drinking coffee because I'm about to be open to being pregnant. And I'm doing I'm taking all these things. It was just Like such I loved that time. I loved that time so much. And then, you know, we would always we would just we would talk about it, we would talk about it on the podcast, we we went, we would share with everyone that, you know, we wanted to be conceiving and this was coming in our, you know, we could really feel, you know, our child wanted to come through. Yeah. But we weren't quite saying yes yet. And we were speaking not as if it was already done, but it was being like, yeah, we're looking forward to becoming parents. We're excited at the at the, at the starting at the start of the next season of our life. And we weren't holding on to. And we made some, like we made some decisions where we're like, okay, cool. Yeah, we're not going to choose this right now. Because we're moving towards this anchoring down into our businesses. We've made systemic moves, we've made certain moves in our businesses that allow a more sustainable, longer term growth strategy to be available to us. Yeah. And that has meant that we've had to go through some initiatory experiences with that as well, which has been great. But yeah, I really felt like Yeah, we were honoring this, I guess, stage before. Yes, really beautifully. Oh, yeah, you were definitely. And I was very intent on doing the physical side. And I did want you to come along and do the physical side with me. And I was, I'd organized for Jacob or asked Jacob Hey, do you want to do some blood tests and go do some gut stuff? And you were saying yes, for a while, I paid the money, and you paid the money to go and see our friend Tyler as well to do the good stuff. And then, and then I just think you got to the point where you're like, that's not actually my way. I didn't want to do it. You didn't want to do it. And I didn't feel the need. I don't feel like I've got gut issues. And there was a few moments. And somebody might listen to this and just be like, What the fuck, like if you if I wanted you to do it, but you, you I knew I reminded you a few times, or shared that this was something that I would love you to do. And then me tablets, I bought you preconception things. And you're just not about it. And I really respect that because you were doing your own. Like you were very intentional with doing certain plant medicine ceremonies, you did Cambo, which was like a big detox you were you were doing all of the things but just not in the way that I wanted you to. Yeah, and my journey was okay, I'm gonna release that. And you get you get to move towards fatherhood in the way that you see fit. And I trust that totally. And I think there was a part of me that was trying to appease you. Yeah, and that's a really gross energy. No, and I never want you to do that. Yeah. So gross energy. And yeah, we're different. Yeah. Inherently, we are different. And I felt, I was like, Oh, this is what's true for me, doesn't mean that it's right or wrong. It's just this is the path that I want to take here. Like I did, I went and sat ceremony, and I tuned into the farther that I'm ready to be, and the challenges that I know are going to come that I won't know how to handle them, and I'm going to have to trust and also just like cleansing my body of like, the the Kamba was a real detoxification for me, it was like, I this is how I do it. And I'm not a supplement guy, I'm not a powder, powdered sub. I don't do that shit. And I'm okay with that beat. Like, and I know that there's a part of me that's reckless in that, but that's also Who the fuck I am. Totally. And, and we eat like, we eat organic, we, you know, we put very healthy food in our body. So we, this isn't as if we were, there was a lot to shift and change. And I like to get over here every now and then. Yeah. For sure. I'm okay with with the design of my life. And there was an intentionality that came with like, Yeah, I'm gonna step into ceremony and yeah, like, I've already been preparing to the point where like, like, alcohol isn't, isn't a determining factor in my life. That doesn't mean whether I have fun or not. I don't need to be eating lots of shitty food to feel good. I don't need to be consuming a whole lot of like, it's like, I've already created a lifestyle where my body is in a pretty awesome state 95% of the time. Yeah. So I was like, really comfortable that and for me, it was really the spiritual essence of fatherhood. And like, for me, it was really a creating the, the, the acceptance that i i get the, this, you know, it's been a desire ever since I was a kid to be a father, like that's been like, ah, like, what I've always just yet after being the oldest of four children, I've been so excited at the either the idea of having a little human that we get to look after it is my responsibility, and I have to and it's going to show me all the things that I still haven't yet seen about myself. Like I'm so excited about that. So for me, it was actually knowing that I am worthy of that. And that when that time comes that I don't freak out. Yeah. One of the things that I was really conscious of was once I get what I want, not fearing losing it, and staying in that place of like, oh, this is a blessing. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing that I get. So yeah, that was the preconception journey for me. Amazing. Anything else you want to say about that and we're gonna move on, move on. And your body is looking rockin my love. You've done such an incredible job of the the healthy vessel. Sexy vessel. It does take him loves my pregnancy boobs. So the greatest. Okay, next question. I'm just aware of time. Yeah. How have your symptoms been? How my symptoms? How are your symptoms? Well, I'm officially 17 weeks now. I feel very, I've had a great pregnancy. You've been amazing. And I also think a lot of like, I'm, I feel really grateful to have done a lot of the physical preconception work, because we did. We fell pregnant the first time we we were open to it. Yes. So we talked about where we can save. Okay, gotta keep that to ourselves. Tell him I also just love like, when because we were very conscious about wanting to call you know, wanting to be pregnant and wanting wanting our child to come. And I think so many people have these like ultra spiritual stories of like, you know, we lit the candle we cold in the spirit we we found in the male toilets next to the sauna of the apartments that were staying out with my parents. Yeah. And it was like it was like wild said we had wild sex to conceive a child like you like we just had like a sweaty sauna together. And then we were both just like hungry, hungry for each other. So we we locked the toilet door of the male toilets. Yeah. And went at it and went to went about making a baby. So that is how our child was conceived. And yeah, so we fell pregnant the first time we were open to her, which was so fucking great. And I feel so blessed. And then I had a really great first trimester like I had. I was the fifth. The first trimester fatigue is very fucking real. Yeah, like it was very, very fatigued. But I probably only had three weeks, probably week six to nine where that fatigue was really intense. And then I just felt hung over for those three weeks. Yeah, I would say felt queasy. You just seem to have like seasickness. Yeah, for three weeks. Yeah. And I never threw up but I would have to like lie down a lot. And I couldn't really work much and I would just have to eat I was really into pizza. Yeah, I would I carb loading multiple times. During those three weeks, I went out like I'd be a poll or like doing other things. And I'd go and get like a whole pizza and just eat it in my car. Oh my god. I never do that I never like and like at home. I'd cook pasta and like not put anything on. It would just be pasta or like pasta and cheese. I never eat G so unlike you. Oh my god. And then I got really into those gluten free English muffins. You're buying me? Yeah. So yeah, the cravings were really real. But I feel after week nine, it literally just it was like I click my fingers. And those symptoms all just went away. And I started to feel so alive. And my energy came back and I've I felt so great. I felt so great. I met that I keep saying about that. Like it's not strange. It's such a beautiful season or a stage of pregnancy where I'm like, I'm not really feeling any, any kicks or anything yet or any kind of movement yet. And I'm also just feeling really energized and like my normal health. So it's such a, it's a really interesting time. It's like I can feel the eagerness of like, I want to, I want a bigger belly and I can't wait to like feel things and just that like yeah, the eagerness is really exciting. Yeah, it feels like we're in like sort of that that lull stage. Like it's like you're pregnant. Yep, you've had the symptoms. And now you're feeling good again. Yeah, boobs are looking great. There's a little bit of a bump. But I feel like then in the next sort of six to eight weeks, it's all going to sort of really, really be real. Yeah. I don't know what the next questions are. Because yeah, let's go on to the next question. Especially. I'm sure what I want to say will come through. So very curious about the choice if any of those who will accompany your delivery or did you want to talk about how we're getting through the changes? Let's do that one first. Okay, cuz I think that also weaves into our choices during pregnancy, correct? Yeah. I'm choosing and were choosing what some people would call a wild pregnancy Wild Wild so I haven't seen anyone I haven't had I haven't been to a doctor. I haven't got a blood test. I haven't had any scans. I'm not getting any older. Sounds I'm opting out of really being a part of the medical system. Because for me, this isn't a medical event Well, for me, that's my, that's what I'm choosing. I'm choosing that this is this is not a medical event. And I do not want my pregnancy to be medicalized. So yeah, just I'm just, I'm just growing and Baby, I'm living my life and I'm growing a baby, and you're doing the most natural thing that a woman does. It feels it really feels like that. And, you know, I know this. There's a question around this coming up, but I have never felt and I've had I haven't had a lot of pushback from that. But I'm very open and sharing that with with people and I've had some people close to me question like not getting scans or question certain things, and I have never felt so fucking fierce and unfuck winnable. Like so certain in my choices, like you could come at me and some people are coming at me online with certain things. It's like, come at me you could come at me with anything right now. And that is not going to shift the way I feel about the choices I'm making in pregnancy and birth. Oh, and that feels so fucking good. There is a fierceness I'm activating as a woman right now that I I haven't felt the degree of fierceness in my body before the degree of lack and there's no other word for it but like unfuck with a bull with a bliss right like no one can convince me otherwise like no one can wobble my belief in and trust in my baby might trust in myself like trust in life. And I feel so fucking good. There's a deep and I got what I'm hearing and that is like it's this deep knowing Yeah, and with that deep knowing it's like we are willing to meet whatever is is here. And it is like you know I've I've also been listening to lots of podcasts and I'll speak about our plan and decisions around birth in a moment was I going with that? What did you say deep knowing deep knowing I was really gonna go somewhere then and you were and then I forgotten I said to you this is really a deep knowing for you and like then that you're choosing this from a place of like I can't remember either great night I was gonna go so I really fears and I forget. But yeah, they do. I do feel a really deep knowing this. And yeah, I'm so I'm so solid in our decision. And yeah, right now. So, you know, for the rest of our pregnancy plans on being wild. We're not going to have any. It's going to be an unassisted pregnancy. I'm not going to have any scans or this links into our birth choices. We're not we're having a medically unassisted birth. We. Our plan is just to have you, Mia. Love Django, you know, he will be in another Okay. Definitely. Maybe someone will come and get Django. And then it'll be Jacob, me. Obviously our baby and a bookkeeper or a doula who we haven't. We're having some meetings right now with some women. I have a really good feeling about one particular woman. Yeah, and that. That's, that feels really fucking good. That's it. That's it. We got a pool. We got to give a call. I think I'll give birth here. Yeah, in this room. And then who fucking knows? Once we're at once it's happening where I want to give birth? Yeah, what the feeling will be but um, but yeah. This is like, yeah, this, this isn't one of the things that I've said to a few people that have asked me about I was like, we're not going to all of a sudden change our views that I'm so passionate about this, because we aren't. I went to the hospital recently because of an emergency. Yeah, because I can't my toe open. I do not see a doctor usually. We do not use medication. We do not like why am I suddenly going to be growing a baby and go into a system I do not partake in in our regular day life. Like, no thank you. And then I'm not and I just also want to preface that I'm not saying that is system is no other woman should partake in that do what feels good. Do what feels in integrity with you. But that's not integrity with that that's not in integrity with that life. And the funny thing is like and this is the beautiful paradox of how we live our life is that when we do go and engage with the hospitals, we have such incredible experiences. We get the most amazing humans who are doing amazing work in those spaces who are deeply respectful of us and our perception and our view Use yeah and they are so deeply of service in their in their own right like we had such an amazing you like cut your pinky toe half of your pinky toe off by really did kicking the wall. And I went in and I said to Jacob, when we're in the car, I said, hey. And I was like almost blacking out from just like, oh my gosh, having kicked my toe and I just said to him, Hey, I think we're going to probably have to advocate for ourselves or for me a lot during this once they find out. I'm pregnant, and I haven't had any scans. Yeah. And they were so great. And it was also I'm, I know I can't my toy pen to have that experience of being able to say no, like we went into emergency. They wanted to give me an x ray. I said, No. They wanted to get that asked me. Have you confirmed your pregnancy? Yeah, I know. I'm pregnant. I peed on a stick. And I'm also my belly is going on over it. Have you confirmed it? Yeah. What do you fucking name? Yeah, and I get what they do for them like confirming is the bloodwork scan the system that they have. And they were like, oh, no, we don't want that. We don't want to do that. And they're like, well, that's okay. We don't need to do that. And they're like, cool. And they were great. And then I didn't want I said no to me. I said, I'm not sure I said no to all of these things. And they were so respectful. And I think that is I don't I don't hold. I'm not righteous in and I will I hope people don't feel the righteousness. But I just know, these are my choices. And I'm not going to make you feel wrong or like, no, of course, I'm not getting a scan. But like, yeah, that was such a beautiful experience to be in a hospital setting and to advocate for myself with such ease. Yeah, yeah. And, and that's what I've, you know, we are not against, we're not for against, we choose what our path is. And when we do engage with you, even when you had your appendix out a few years ago, and when we've whenever we've been into the the Western medical system, we've done it due to an emergency. Yeah. And we've been supported. And we've received like incredible support incredible humans. And it's always been a really great experience for us. Yeah. So I just want to honor that. Yeah, what we're choosing is we're choosing because that's what we deeply know, in our bones. And we also trust and respect everyone else's choices and the path that they choose. Because that is your that is your choice. Yeah. Oh, anything else we want to say about our, our plan to birth and pregnancy, just know that this is, this is an initiation, this is a rite of passage for you and that we're not going to, like we want, we both want the full experience we want to be with every moment, every breath, every every sound, every sensation, every smell, we want it we want it all. And that's you know, we're here to live our life through our body, through our through our relationship through our, you know, our devotion to the moment and this is to do it to do it any other way would be to approach this any other way would be dishonouring. You know what, what's true for us? Yeah. I also just want to say my original plan was always a home birth, but with a midwife, yes. And then once we became pregnant, I reached out to a particular midwife, and she didn't get back to me for like a month. Yeah. And in that time, I found a podcast called the free birth podcast, I'd heard of free birth, I'd watched free birth videos, which is basically a woman birthing outside of having any medical attendants or any, you know, any trained medical person there. And I always had planned on free birthing, thinking that all I was only allowed to free birth for my like, third or fourth child, and not for him for children. But like, after multiple children, I was like, oh, women don't do that. I'll, I'll have a midwife. My first child. Yes. And then this midwife took a month to get back to me. And in the process, I binged all of this free birth, like, not all but a load of episodes. And I could not deny that that is what I that's what I was being asked to do. Yeah, it was just Yeah, it was very clear. I and I said, and, you know, I'm not technically having a full free birth of just you and me, I'm gonna have, you know, a woman who's free birthed herself and, and, you know, is working as a birth working now, in this space, but and this is what I was gonna say before. We're circling back. But yeah, that it just became so clear that like, this is what I'm being called into. It wasn't even me choosing it. It was like, This is what the baby is asking for. She does not want a fucking midwife there. She does not she wants you and, and you know, you and yeah, that just felt really powerful. And like, again, this is where I'm feeling someone fuckup on. Luckily, the ball in his pregnancy is that we've got a little friend here. I'm gonna let him out and you keep talking. Do you think he needs to pee Yeah, I think you might need to pay. Um, yeah, I'm just feeling so. Yeah, the clarity in that, and like, what I was being called into, felt really powerful. But what I was gonna say before is that I'm very, I think choosing this wild pregnancy and choosing the way that we want to birth. I'm also aware that that's me being super fucking sovereign and with with sovereignty comes responsibility. I'm very aware of that I'm very aware that I'm not outsourcing any of my decisions or any responsibility to anyone. And it's, it's on me, and that I've been preparing, preparing for that for a very long time. Not even realizing, but really knowing that the way we've lived our life, and how much we've extricated ourselves from giving other people handing over our responsibility is really, yeah, this it's preparing us for this moment. It is, it is my love. Okay, next question. Next question. How are you navigating through the changes in identity from maiden to mother? I think I've already like basically answered and said that I really mean answered that. Yeah, I actually want to circle back to when we spoke about. We knew we wanted to have children for a while. And even with that, knowing probably two years ago, and then before that, I knew I wanted to become a mother, but there was a terror around becoming a mother. And I always think that was the main and energy of being terrified to lose my freedom. I'd created such a life of deep freedom. That for a long time, again, even though I knew I wanted to become a mother, there was such terror because I didn't want I just wanted to be able to do whatever I wanted. Whenever I wanted, I wanted to be able to, you know, I didn't want to suddenly be tethered to something and the responsibility really, it wasn't scared me, it terrified me. Yep. And that really shifted a few years ago, maybe two years ago. And it was I think it was my own inner transition of that energetic of made into mother that suddenly I saw what a portal that responsibility can be to everything I desire, that actually this like, oh my god, I just get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Like, that's not actually what I want for the rest of my life. I want to find more of myself through responsibility, I want to find more of myself, and more of my depth and more of life through being tethered to something, and being devoted to something and having someone or something rely on me so deeply. And so that really shifted for me a few years ago. And it was a much shift felt like a maturing, even in my business, like no longer just being like, I just want to like, do as little as possible and make as much money as possible. I'm like, I want to be a fucking teacher that's known for fucking something. And I know that comes with such a depth of responsibility. And I will choose that and route down into that. And that also Yeah, shifted my my view of towards motherhood. And then like, whilst being pregnant, there's, again, just this fierceness that's come over me and I'm so excited. I'm so like, I'm, I'm so excited to birth, I'm safe. I'm so excited for the initiation of birth. And motherhood, the initial the initiation of pregnancy, even so far, has me feeling so fierce. Like, I cannot imagine who I'm going to be on the other side. On the other side of that, yeah. And guess what I've really noticed, like, is that level of like, willingness to be responsible, that level of like you have, and this is something that I've noticed just you with our dog Django, like, the fact that odd being responsible for something allows us to live like it's another relationship that brings that amplifies the love in our lives, and brings more of us alive. And like even like, yeah, having having a dog in the house. It's it's created such a whole Yeah, it's a whole nother level of presence. He can't leave chocolate on the bed, she can't leave the You can't leave things on the ground because he will eat it requires you to be so much more present and aware. And then from that you get to have this whole new relationship. And yeah, I'm just so excited to for that, for that to happen. For you with a child. Like the whole journey of like, yeah, like you said, motherhood. You get to go through the initiation of birth, like you're getting to experience that so I'm super excited for him. I love Mama, Mama. Hello, Mama, do you want to share anything I kind of skipped over before like our short Do you want to share any of your feelings on our choices? And if that's been if anything's come up for you, because it's been me going, I'm having a wild pregnancy. I'm not letting anyone touch me. This is the way I suddenly don't want to midwife Do you want to just share a little bit because I'm sure, I know people are intrigued. I believe there are a lot of men who let their fear trap their woman into decisions that aren't true for her. And I know that. And I know that a lot of men are scared to hold their woman through or hold space for their woman through this initiatory sequence. Because they haven't been initiated correctly themselves. So an uninitiated man cannot hold a woman through the deepest initiation of herself. And this is why fuck it, I'll say, Oh, this is why men rely on hospitals for this. They, they they rely on other they outsource their responsibility. And you know, the ads vulnerable for me to say, yes, I want to be in the room and hold you through this. And that exposes me to full responsibility for whatever occurs in that, in that experience. That means that I have to be okay with whatever happens happening. And I believe that there are a lot of men who haven't been initiated or haven't been through an initiatory experience that's appropriate and right for them, for them to be like, Hey, I trust you, I trust your body. I trust what nature has created. I trust, you know, that you are capable of doing the thing that you are inherently designed to do as a woman. And this modern landscape of gender and all of this stuff, don't get me started. I don't want to say anything to righteous. But yeah, we've created a lot of confusion. And we've lost the essence of what it really means to be a woman and what it really means to be a man, especially in regards to people who are choosing to step into a monogamous, heterosexual relationship. Like it gets to be sacred, we get to honor the these these moments and really embrace them. So for me, this just feels normal. The other way feels not abnormal, go and give other people the, the the responsibility doesn't feel right. Considering that the last 10 years of our life, we've been developing a sense of sovereignty around our inner knowing around our bodies and around what we're choosing to do with them. So yeah, this all just feels this old when you when you shed all of this, you know, the only thing that I was a little bit hesitant. I was like, Oh, I really want to actually be happy, mentored by a woman who's done this, like a birth keeper who's been through this rite of passage and actually have someone that can mentor us and guide us on this and not just do it from that righteous place. If we know better. Yeah. So that was really that was the one thing that was a requirement was like, we need to have someone in our corner that's done this that can guide us and answer the questions that we have. And what are steady me when I wobble? Yeah, because once again, yeah, this is going to be an initiation for me, actually, allowing you to go through what you need to go through. Yeah. It was okay. Alrighty. Last questions, how do you think having a baby will impact your intimacy? Well, we're gonna be co sleeping. We have a little baby in the bed, I cannot wait for that. I think I think it would be naive to say it wouldn't. I think it's, I think it's, of course, gonna majorly impact, it's going to impact it. And I also think it's going to deepen it. Because, for me, intimacy is, is so much wider, deeper, the breadth of intimacy goes far beyond you putting your cock in my pussy, or in one of my other halls. So I think our intimacy will deepen, and our intimacy will be so fucking strong. I know it will. And I know, you know, of course, it's going to be challenging. Of course, there's going to be moments our entire life is about to change. And I'm not I'm, I'm not. Yeah, I'm so in. I'm so aware of that. Yeah. And I really truly believe we, our intimacy and how much we see each other and hold each other and feel connected to each other, is going to literally amplify beyond anything we've ever felt. I feel like we're probably going to, like, take a shit in front of each other. Like, yeah, that probably. We don't do that. That kind of like shitting in front of each other or I'll pair up yeah, we'll pay it back. But I feel like we're gonna get to know each other on a deeper level in that way. One of the things is like, oh, like, I need to take a shit you're in the shower. Like we have, like, this is the we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to record saw this, this is this is happening. I loved it. That's why he took that, I feel like we're gonna get to like, we're gonna just like surrender a little more to the, to the to what life needs is to the mess of life. But at the same time, we've built a life that we get to choose how we spend our day. So we've been working towards a life where I don't leave to go to work somewhere where you have, you know, we're building businesses that have deep service to humanity, but also allow us to live a life that is really truly great. And, you know, regardless of what happens when we have a baby, we're going to meet life and be drawn deeper. And our intimacy isn't determined by the number of times we have sex each week. Yeah, for sure. Even though sometimes sometimes I think, the same time, we're always focused on the quality of our connection, the quality of the openness of our hearts, and whether that channel is clear. So my, my devotion to you is to keeping the channel clear. And knowing that, who who do we need in our community to support us, as we, you know, take on a high level of responsibility, who can we ask for support? Who's going to be there for us? And that's the, you know, another vulnerable practice of like, Who can we actually let in? Yeah, so yeah. And then maybe we we answer that question from a sex point of view as well, because I think that's where that person was going with that as well. Do you feel what what do you feel? How do you think having a baby will impact? Let's just say, your sex life? Yeah, it'll impact it majorly? Yeah, you're gonna be birthing a child out of your vagina. Like, there's gonna be like a season where like, I believe, like, there'll be a season where like, you will be that there'll be an extra sensitivity around your new genitals, and there'll be like this, you know, even last night, or yesterday, we did the erotic blueprint quiz. And it's like, oh, like learning how to actually energetically orgasm and do things like that, and like, actually not rely so heavily on the genital stimulation and, like, explore different ways of engaging in sex that I think will allow us to have a broader, a broader landscape. Yes, it I also think we'll probably have to start to schedule things in a little more. I think. I think that we have to have like, six time. Yeah, yeah. In the calendar during baby naptime. Yeah, yeah, I think it I think we'll have to be a lot more like structured baby nap slash BJ. Yeah, I think my thoughts on that is like intimacy and also sex is really important to us. Yes. And so even though we're going to be honoring the shifts and the changes, we are not going to let that suddenly become a non and non existent part of our life. Like we value that we that's important to us that that will be even if your clock has not been inside my pussy, and in weeks, this will be a part of our conversation, we will be touching we will be connecting like we will be creatively feeding that part of our life no matter what unfolds. Oh, I'm sure of it. Definitely. Okay. Yeah. What are the top parent qualities you see in each other? No doubt I what I see anyways, patients Yes, like your patients? is insane. And I'm so excited. Yeah, I just No, I cannot I like I can see it. I can see you with our children, not just like our baby, but I can see you with all of our future children. Like, when they're 510 1535. Like, just the grace and the patience you offer them. And you I get I'm on the receiving end of that every fucking day. And I know it will be turned off another fucking level for our children. And I can't wait, I can't wait for that. I can't wait for that. Thank you, like one of my intentions is to really help them understand life. Yeah. And like, take the time to help them understand and feel their questions. And like, I'm so excited about that stage of like, helping them understand the rules of life, understanding different things and giving them the space to explore and just really just being that, that container for them to, to feel safe enough to ask the questions that they want answered. And also feel safe enough to engage with the experiences that they want to have. And like that's a really important for me to to know that they're supported and that I'm going to be there. Helping them understand boundaries, helping them understand expression, and like just fully giving myself and like letting go of what you know what it needs to look like. That's the real Yeah, I'm really I've been sitting in contemplation around that quite a lot in the last few weeks around, like, letting it be what it needs to be. Yeah. Would you want me to share the top quality? I seen you? I think You just like love you love you love you Love, love, love, love, love, love. But like, when you're like you're you, like drench people with your love. And you just give yourself to the moment or you give yourself someone it's like, it's almost. Yeah, it's almost uncanny the way that you do it because it's like, there's no, there's no barriers. There's no walls up when you love someone. And I just imagine you like even watching you. We went home to visit my sister, who's recently had a baby boy, his name's Finley, and just the way that you like he did not hesitate like you were constantly like, in the space loving him. I came down now I went up to have breakfast one morning, and I came down to get you and you weren't in bed, like you're in bed when I went out and I came back down. And you weren't in the room that you were in, I walked out of there and walked into another room and you're laying in bed with the baby by yourself. And Eliza has gone to have a shower. And you were like, asleep with the baby. Spinning? Yeah. And I was just like, Oh, you don't let rules stop you from loving you don't let this you know or is this is this? Is this a little too much you just love and that, like our baby is going to be so loved. Yeah, baby is going to be so loved and looked after. And I just know that you're gonna just like get and I'm just to your affection. You're You're so affectionate. And, and you are so yeah, you're so playful. And that, you know, so many children love you because of that. And I just know our child is going to have this the best time growing up in this household. Because of you know, I can't wait. She's like, I just can't wait to do all of the rest can't wait to like, stew apples and like, like, I feel like this one stuff a becomes we're just gonna, like, anchor into such deep simplicity. I already feel that being in this new house. But yeah, I just feel like, I'm gonna sing a lot. I think I'm gonna like, I think I'm gonna be very joyful. I think it's gonna be a lot of moments where I'm like, standing, I'll do something and I'll just break down cry, which like, this is, this is everything. Yeah, you're gonna turn into I think I'm gonna turn it to you. I think I'm gonna, I think I might have a season of Meg I do that all the time, guys, I'll just like look at Jacob and be like, I'm really looking forward to being grateful. Like, I'm already grateful. But like, I just know that this is a big part. Like, this is something that I've desired deeply. And I'm so like, I'm so I feel so lucky already. But like having, you know, I feel like it's gonna bring a whole new level of meaning to every every thing that I do. And knowing that you're looking after our baby, and that you're feeding our baby from your breast, and that you're holding her and guiding her and we think it's a girl. It's a girl, just knowing that I just, I can deeply trust you to love our baby in the way that she needs to be loved. And that's going to allow me to just like surf even more deeply in my work and create an even more healthier, happier, more simplistic lifestyle in our home. So yeah, it's going to be big. And it's going to be big, and beautiful. I'm so excited. I was just gonna share before lonely. When you're talking about a child's gonna have so much fun like kids, like kids love us. Like, children will just flock to us. Yeah. And we're at this cafe yesterday near on your house. And we're sitting down. And we had the dog that and like these four kids came over and they all knew each other. And they just started playing with Django. And then they literally sat at our table. Yeah, and started having they were with us for half an hour easily. And I told them I was pregnant and then they were asking me what I'm going to call it they were we were talking baby names. They were telling us about their love life. Yes. The seven year old girls they're in love are deeply in like fell in love at six. Still another seven. And I love like that was my favorite moment of yesterday. Yeah, me you talking to those children just like asking them questions. I love how curious children are. Like, I'm just so excited that that gets to be like, amongst everything. Again, I'm also aware that it's going to stretch me in ways that I've never been stretched in the the all consuming nature of parenthood is something that I'm I know that's going to be the most challenging thing for me. And I'm sure for many people. But I'm also just like, I'm so excited for those moment just like the moments of just like pure, simple love. The thing that like you said before about like patience and I think like patience and presence, like create this energy of not being in a rush to get get anywhere. I think that that's what children love about us. It's like, they came over and sat with us. And it's like, we were going to the beach. Like we had the dog, we wanted to get to the we had, we had somewhere to be, we were about to get out, we're literally about to get up. And then these children is like, Oh, this is what, and I didn't parents, like, just leave whenever like, wow, had a good time. I think that's like, I think there is an important, you know, level of structure to have in your life to pay the bills and make sure there's fuel in the car and that things happen the way they're meant to happen. But there's also this beautiful surrender. And it's not like a surrender to letting the universe do whatever it wants. But it's like when something presents itself and is asking, asking you to, I guess pivot, or maybe let this moment look a little different than what you thought it was going to look like, based on your expectations. That's when like magical moments happen. And it makes me sad relationship. It's like, trust that can we trust the truth of the moment? Or like, what's the truth of the moment? And I think that's going to be something that's so deeply our practice in parenthood, it's like it that cross stitched, yes. cross stitched on our new brick walls. And that, that that would be like, that is going to be such a deep practice and like, what is the truth at the moment? Oh, we thought we were gonna go out and we thought we were gonna we thought the day was gonna look like this or I thought I was gonna get work done. What's the truth of the moment? I toddlers having a tantrum and really needs our attention. Oh, you know, our baby didn't sleep at all last night. So now, whatever it might be the like, Yeah, I'm I'm really again, I think there's so many things that we've been practicing in our own relationship in our own life that will be skills that we just anchor more deeply in on our journey as parenthood. Definitely. And I'm, I'm really excited to, to parent with you. Yeah, I'm glad that we're doing it together. I'm so excited to see you as a father. Um, so it's going to be a very emotional experience. Yeah. Okay, any final thoughts before we close up? I'm just glad to be back baby. Glad to be fucking back feeling like this back on the podcast. But I think you mean back on the podcast back in the driver's seat back in an energetic aligned state. I feel like yeah, I feel like I have purpose again, and that life is flowing. And yeah, I'm ready to fucking serve. I'm ready to do some big fucking things. I got some incredible stuff coming up for man. We're doing a facilitator training. I've got a really deep initiatory retreat that I'm running for high level leaders with a brother who's coming over from Peru, which is super super exciting. be chatting to him today. And yeah, just serving men deeply one on one and in my group programs, I'm just Yeah, ready to fucking show men how to lead like, absolute fucking savages. And where can men do they just come to you just shoot me a message on Instagram. And I have I'm taking on my final one on one clients. You are the year before I give birth in September, October whenever the baby chooses to come. Yeah, so if you want to work with me, this will be the last one on one clients they take for? Who knows how long? At least six months? Maybe nine months? Maybe? Who knows? Maybe forever? Who knows? Whatever. Maybe. So if you want to work intimately with me one on one. Shoot me a DM over on Instagram at the dark mag dot O. And let's let's make some magic together. Oh, thanks for making magic with me right now. How are ya? We're back, baby. Thanks for being here. Beautiful ones. Next week. Big Love. Bye. Thanks. Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Sex love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan i You can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover at the dot mag dot o amazing and yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions, like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Thanks for being here. Big Big Love.