Ep 57: The hottest moments of 2023

Lovers, we've got a special episode for you today. We are celebrating the podcast's first year anniversary today and we are so grateful for everyone that has been a part of this year long journey - especially our listeners!

Hold on tight as we dive into the depths of intimacy, love, and relationships. We spill the beans on our most popular episodes, including the surprisingly high demand for all things "Anal". But that's not all, we dive into creating deep connections, patience, acknowledging desires, just to name a few.

In this episode we also riff of on:

• Jacob and Meg express gratitude to listeners for connecting with them through their podcast and sharing their experiences
• Podcast creation, healing, and personal growth
• Intimacy, pleasure, and spirituality in sexual practice
• Honoring boundaries and deepening intimacy in heterosexual relationships
• Gender roles, decision-making, and trust in relationships
• Desires and BDSM exploration in a relationship
• Looking back on Pussy Licking and Blowjob techniques that your lover will enjoy

and many, many more.

⚡ If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.

AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!

⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:  

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween

⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU

Intimacy Immersion: An in-person one-day immersion on the Gold Coast for couples desiring to ignite their intimacy & deepen in love. --> https://www.meg-oneill.com/intimacy-immersion

⚡Join us for our Podcast Live Event!
Register here: --> https://www.meg-oneill.com/SEX-LOVE-EVERYTHINGINBETWEEN
Saturday 2nd March @ 5pm - 9pm |Mylky Space, Gold Coast 

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information.

⚡ Listen to the Episodes mentioned here: 

• Self Pleasure and the Dark Feminine with Lola Richie --> https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/13719472
• How to Pleasure a Woman --> https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/13890109
• From Good to MindBlowing Sex -->  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/12590173
• Art of Loving a Man -->   https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/12809707
• Art of Loving a Woman -->    https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/12772843
• Mismatched libido, mutual masturbation & more  -->   https://www.buzzsprout.com/2121070/episodes/1

Transcript

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Meg O'Neill: 0:04

Hey beautiful humans. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:12

You're here with Jacob and my wife, Meg. And this

Meg O'Neill: 0:16

is the place where we have all the very, very real role and extremely unfiltered conversations about sex, love and everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:29

It's here you get a behind the scenes look into our relationship. And we will not be holding back well, we might not

Meg O'Neill: 0:36

know. You don't know how to do that. Not at all. So beautiful ones. Thank you for being here. Enjoy this episode. Hi, love.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:50

Yo, yo, lovers.

Meg O'Neill: 0:51

Welcome back to another week here at sex love and everything in between. And this is a very fucking special week.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:59

So is

Meg O'Neill: 1:01

we are celebrating our first birthday. Here are the podcast.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:05

We are one years old.

Meg O'Neill: 1:06

We are one years old sex and everything in between is one year old.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:11

I've been doing this for whole fucking Yeah, what do you reckon Django we just freaked out I dog

Meg O'Neill: 1:27

chill out. And we're gonna spend this entire podcast, recapping, celebrating, sharing our favorite moments. And beyond that your fucking favorite moments from the last year here on the pod. We're very excited about it.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:43

There's some common things that we're going to see in this trend as well. Can you guess

Meg O'Neill: 1:47

we're not going to tell you just yet. But can you guess what the number one top rated theme on the podcast was

Jacob O'Neill: 1:54

for the last year guys are freaks and we love it.

Meg O'Neill: 1:57

I think the top five episodes were all these topic around this topic. Yeah, which we'll find out in a moment's time. I want to start by just thanking, like you guys like you listening right now. makes me emotional. I'm just so grateful. Like we have the best fucking listeners on the planet. And we wouldn't be here, let's be honest, we wouldn't be here a year on, if we didn't feel your support. And if we didn't feel how deeply you were loving this podcast and finding such value and humor and just epicness in, in our conversations every week. And that's definitely and I'd love to hear from you, my man. But that's definitely something I love my validation. You know, just like feeling the response, like literally every fucking week, we get DMS from you guys. And they mean the world to us. Yeah, like letting us know that you're literally listening to the podcast, and you pulled over your car to send us a message because you're 15 minutes in and it's landing so deeply. Or that, you know, this particular episode of navigating conflict is has shifted the way you and your partner relating and showing up in those moments of tension. And it's completely transformed your relationship. And I'm just so grateful because I know I can be guilty of this. I listen to podcasts, I follow other people's work. And sometimes I just like silently consume. And so if you're a silent consumer, we still love you.

Jacob O'Neill: 3:37

But not as much.

Meg O'Neill: 3:41

Yeah. But I just want to celebrate, like the fucking effort it does take to listen to something to consume something, and then to actually reach out to that creator. Like I'm just so fucking grateful to each of you that have done that over the last year or that we'll do that in the coming years. Because it means a fuck ton. Like it truly does. And I'm sure if you're a creator as well, you, you understand that like receiving and it can, it can be interesting sometimes sitting here now home pressing record and then just like sending it out into the internet. It's so beautiful to feel you guys, and to hear how each episode has landed for you. So I just want to start that by saying like, infinite amounts of gratitude for you all for just listening and receiving so much and also just like yeah, continuing to build a relationship with us through this work. And like even sorry, one more thing, even like I've had many people come up to me in in the in the street or like in a shop in a shop or in a cafe to be like Hey, I listened to the podcast, and I fucking love that. So I can't please continue to do that in public.

Jacob O'Neill: 4:54

So we love connection is what we're saying. Yeah, we really do connect connection. Yeah. I really feel this is I'm just putting a little mental note here for us in this podcast, and you guys are going to receive it as well as like we do need to do an episode on sexual polarity. I really feel that just after the retreat that I went on this weekend, and also just hearing you speak about how that means so much to you like that feminine yearning for like feeling that engagement and that connection with with the audience and the guys that are Listen, for me that isn't as strong. But I do value it. And I do see that as such a feminine LED. Desire and I haven't met in this way. I think what I want to sort of just zone in on is like we started this because it felt good. Totally we started this not because we thought people would react to it. We didn't start because we thought people give us validation. We started this podcast because it felt right. And like we said at the beginning, in the early episodes, like we were in our car having these conversations, we're like, Fuck, how good would it be to share what we're saying with the world like this feels like what we want to be talking about online. This is what we want our brands, and our brand sex love and everything in between what it's become to stand for. And the fact that it has been so well received is the icing on the cake for me completely.

Meg O'Neill: 6:11

And yeah, I remember so many times we'd be in the car together, having a conversation about sex, or having a conversation about relationships, and literally looking at each other and being like, fuck we could have recorded we should have recorded that, like I deeply want people to be a part of this conversation. And I know that's why you all as listeners feel you do you feel a part of our life and this conversation. Right. And that was always the intention. It was like, we wanted you to feel as if you're in the motherfucking room with us. And I'm really grateful that we chose to really put this work out into the world in this way. Like we are so raw here. We are so real. There's not much we we don't say. And we really, yeah, we're very fucking unfiltered and raw and uncensored. And I know that's why you guys received so deeply from this work and it lands so deeply. And you're able to take it out into your relationships, because we bring it in that way. So thanks for receiving it.

Jacob O'Neill: 7:16

Totally. And I think in a world right now, where there's more and more short form content is more and more AI generated information where it's all like, it's really great to have stuff that like intellectually makes sense. But to actually feel someone's heart like I feel every week we show up our hearts are the first thing to to go up on this on this podcast like okay, what does our heart want to want to share with everyone and the concepts are great the skills and techniques and tools and teachings that we offer amongst that are great, but for me, this is what makes us us. And what I feel is the most important thing for anyone that's connecting with us is our relatability and I'm just so grateful that we're able to be authentic. And not only that, but we're being received in our authenticity is only creating more and more connections for me and having men reach out be like man like that. Only just recently, he's like, Man, I forgot how I how much I need to know there's other men who have gone through these things. Like sometimes I feel I'm so alone. And you know, sometimes people don't have the ability to get to a men's group or they don't have the funds to go and do all the coaching or it's not a priority in their life right now. But if you can, like hear a story that like lands and you can take a little bit from what we've done over the last year, I'm just so grateful that you know, you get to be the man that you need to be for yourself and your your family or your friends, your community. You know, this is always I love the relationship that we have with you guys, but I'm also really, really interested in the relationship that you have with the people that you're here to be of service to. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Meg O'Neill: 8:56

Thank you Thank you Oh, and before we go any further we have a little request if you'd love this podcast which I'm sure you fucking do if you're listening right now especially to this episode we ask that you pause this episode right now pause up pull over in your car or still cooking or whatever you do when your toilets checking people take a shit and listen to us I want to know I'm not a phone I would I never take my phone to the toilet I'm

Jacob O'Neill: 9:26

a phone in the toilet I'm

Meg O'Neill: 9:28

not I am but I'm I'm

Jacob O'Neill: 9:31

I put quick your your slides out to me you seriously I was gonna call you a gunslinger but you are you are the quick you're the fastest woman in the West. When it comes to taking a shit or poop as you call it.

Meg O'Neill: 9:45

Or she is too aggressive. Like I need to go poop Yeah, it

Jacob O'Neill: 9:49

is very cute. Very cute but

Meg O'Neill: 9:52

because I go to the toilet when I'm ready to go.

Jacob O'Neill: 9:54

Yeah, you I'm ready.

Meg O'Neill: 9:55

I'm on the lightning

Jacob O'Neill: 9:58

rod the lightning Okay, anyway, back to our request yet one last thing I'll say is, I don't know about any men, but I feel like men are quite quite common to do the phone on the toilet thing. There is nothing more. Exposing when you're in a public toilet. You open your open Instagram or something, it goes straight to a loud, real and all of a sudden just blasts the entire oh my god, people know I'm on my phone in here.

Meg O'Neill: 10:22

Oh, are you embarrassed to be on your phone and a public toilet? Yeah, definitely. Oh, because people know you're

Jacob O'Neill: 10:27

sitting there taking a shit. And they're like, Well, why doesn't he Hurry up? Like there's all the cubicles are taken? Good for me. It's just a bit of personal time. That's what I love it. I

Meg O'Neill: 10:36

see that I I've asked men this question before. And I think and I've heard I've heard women speak to this a lot with their partners. It's like men go there to have a break escape.

Jacob O'Neill: 10:51

Toilet, it's just a sacred time.

Meg O'Neill: 10:53

Yeah, it's just as quickly as possible so I can come back to you. Yes.

Jacob O'Neill: 10:58

We do need to do this episode on sexual polarity around the masculine core desire, freedom and the feminine core desire of connection. So we will deepen into that.

Meg O'Neill: 11:06

Okay, but anyway, back to our request. We ask that you pause this episode in a moment, and head over to Apple podcasts. So go to the Apple podcast app, type in sex, love and everything in between. And leave us a five star review and write some beautiful fucking things, your favorite things about listening to us here? It's so clever and everything in between? Yes, please. This is the number one way you can support us here at the podcast like the number one way it is our biggest vision here doing this work that this podcast these conversations ripple out to more couples, more humans that really deeply value, intimacy love, deep epic sex, incredible relationships. And so this is the number one way you can support us if you're like really behind our fucking mission, go and leave a five star review. So go and pause, pull over go and do it now. We'd be really fucking grateful. And if you want to screenshot your review, you can then screenshot and send it to my team. The email address is support at mag dash O'Neill dot com. So that's a double L with O'Neill, support at mag dash O'Neill dot com, send me a screenshot and my team will send you one of my master classes for free. You get to choose that thank you.

Jacob O'Neill: 12:26

We love you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Okay,

Meg O'Neill: 12:29

before we get into recapping. Okay, and I just want to ask you what's been your favorite moment or favorite thing about creating the podcast over the last year?

Jacob O'Neill: 12:40

I've loved the you the podcasts? I've loved the ones that we've had no planning for? Yeah, yeah. Not at all. And I've loved the moments. I think those early on, there was a couple we were on the brown couch before that these beautiful chairs. And there's a couple where you were just like, an emotional mess. There was a couple years they really opened up and, and let loose. And I've loved realizing just how much we've learned through our own life experience. And like, I'm just really proud of who we've become like, I felt like there's been a real maturity to our, our work this last year. Like yeah, there's like, every week we're in this room showing up doing this, this podcast has been a real, you know, we speak about devotion a lot. And I felt like we've shown devotion to our shared vision. And in the past, we've really struggled to meet each other in that shared vision of creation. So, in regards to work, I feel that like showing up every week has given us this way of devoting ourselves to something greater in service to humanity. So it's felt it's just felt beautiful. But um, yeah, realistically, like one of my favorite podcasts was just last week when we filmed the one around there plant medicine and family healing. That was a real full circle moment for me. Yeah. Oh, and now you want me to ask you would you want me to ask you my love? What was your favorite moment from the last year what has been one of those standout moments from the podcast recording and sharing it online? And what has been that for you?

Meg O'Neill: 14:20

I I totally agree. The the times where we just come into the podcast studio, we don't really have a plan. Maybe we have a big emotional release before we hit record. Oh, we try and record and then we're trying it's just like a bit clunky. And then we use you know, I might have a cry. We might have a big conversation and then we hit record again. And it's just like, yeah, it just just comes through and it's just what's alive for us and I have loved my favorite episodes to record and then to share have been the ones where it's like about our healing with family or gallery about just like some of the challenging times we've had or yeah, when we when we've been just like wailing or crying? On the episode I remember one of the episodes where I spoke about and I don't know what number Episode This was, but when we were speaking about your men's work and how I had this like big healing with the masculine the first time you ran your men circle, and it was just wailing and crying, thinking about that and expressing that, that memory and that story. Yeah, and I just, again, my favorite part is like hearing, hearing from from you guys, the listeners and get I adore being in this room with you. But I also love hearing what the conversation that we have in this room does for the humans outside of this room, that that is just incredibly meaningful to me.

Jacob O'Neill: 15:42

Yeah, if like, the personal ones feel like you're the ones where we've had our healing. In other podcasts, we're the ones that I feel like I'm proud of is the ones when we get a message and people like, I've actually know how to communicate my desires, or I know how to like actually have, you know, actually lean into conflict and communicate better with my partner. I'm actually my relationship is better off because of you guys. And it's like, well, yeah, we we love being in service to love. And that to me, you know, some of those some of the comments and messages that I've gotten around people have just like been able to shift just from listening. It feels like fuck, like, what a beautiful, what a beautiful. What a beautiful life that we get to have like, how great how lucky are we how lucky away, it gets to be this good.

Meg O'Neill: 16:32

And for those of you that are on the Gold Coast or can get to the Gold Coast. If you haven't already heard we're doing a live podcast event on the second of March. So you can come and be in this incredible space with us, not this space that we're recording in right now. It's this epic fucking space here on the Gold Coast called milky space. And we're having it's like a live podcast event slash party. It's gonna be live music, a food truck, epic non alcoholic drinks, we're gonna have some really sexy door prizes. You're gonna get to be in the room with us as we record a podcast live and then there's also going to be a chance to have your questions answered. And we're going to do live q&a and coaching. So that's almost like celebrating the end of season one coming into Season Two as well. So we would love to fucking see you there tickets probably in the show notes on the show notes or just head to either of our Instagrams and,

Jacob O'Neill: 17:24

and hook yourself up. Yes, yes, yes.

Meg O'Neill: 17:27

Okay. Now let's get into recap mode.

Jacob O'Neill: 17:29

Okay, recap mode, the podcast starts now.

Meg O'Neill: 17:32

Okay, the rest of the episode, we're going to be sharing snippets of your favorite episodes from the last year. So based on downloads and what what episodes you guys love the most? It's no fucking surprise that the top five episodes all had the name, Angel in them. Seriously? Seriously, literally, we've

Jacob O'Neill: 17:57

talked about family healing. You've talked about our deep, darkest shadows we've taught we've let you in and all you guys want to listen to is fingers in the butt. That's all you're actually

Meg O'Neill: 18:08

I lied. That was way too over exaggerated. Okay, no, the top episode was from good sex to mind blowing sex. Second episode was q&a. How often do you have sex plus anal 101 tups. Number three episode was q&a, the art of anal sex design, long term relationships and more. And the next one was the art of loving man, the art of loving a woman so you guys hardly ever exaggerated but out of the top five, two of them. Were about I know. You

Jacob O'Neill: 18:36

guys have a healthy relationship. Yeah. With our podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh,

Meg O'Neill: 18:41

kinky. Motherfuckers. And we love it.

Jacob O'Neill: 18:45

Well Rounded there was only two, not five we've we're not shaming anyone.

Meg O'Neill: 18:51

But I love that we do we do talk about I know that's been one of our experiments. How many times can we? How many episodes can we talk about annually? I think it's probably 80% of episodes. You're saying yeah, they don't feel about deep family healing. So first up, first episode we're gonna recap is which one? Is it? The autumn Angel, it was a q&a we did around the bottom angels. And we also spoke about desire and long term relationships and some other things. But this is the first time that you're gonna listen to anything you want to add before before they get to listen to this snippet about the art of anal sex.

Jacob O'Neill: 19:34

I just think it's, it's, it's fun to be able to have these conversations and like, and for it to just be normal. Normalizing this stuff is what makes all of which I feel like it takes shame out of the out of the equation and and allows you to have a more open, honest, loving relationship. It's like yeah, it's about annual but it's more about like how open and and vulnerable can I be? Yeah.

Meg O'Neill: 19:57

And so this episode is episode In three, if you want to go back and listen to the days, yes, we were talking about anal right from the beginning. So this is episode three, if you want to go listen to the whole episode, again, we have we deep dive into the How to behind anal, why we love anal. All the things and then there's a lot of other questions we answered in that episode. But here's a little snippet for you to enjoy. You are the first partner I've ever explored this with. And we only started exploring this maybe three and a half years ago, maybe four? Yeah, yeah. Remember, it was in Guatemala. And we didn't have a lot of lube. And that was. Anyway, um, where was I? Oh, so I always used to think it was just something and this is like, conventional kind of idea of looking at sex, but definitely anal sex. It was just like, Oh, it's just what a man wants from me. It's like a tight a hole for a man and just he'll receive pleasure. So that's something I if I was to do it kind

Jacob O'Neill: 21:00

of thing. Yeah, it got better. Yeah, I he wants this. So I better give it to him. Kind of. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill: 21:05

yeah. And if I was to do it, it would be for him and there wouldn't be pleasure involved. And oh, my god for in my personal experience, and for many of the women I know many women close to me. This is like, Yes, such a beautiful sacred part of sex and like a practice of sex and and a portal within ourselves that can really, yeah, really deeply invite us back into our bodies. Do you want to add anything?

Jacob O'Neill: 21:36

I just yet coming back to it's like a practice in patience and acknowledging the process of opening and surrendering. And like you said, it's quite often when you're feeling that, that that desire for being for surrendering and to being open and having your heart cracked, open and feeling that sense of liberation. Yeah. It's a really powerful, as much as like, I love it. And I think it's awesome. And it's a great experience for me as well, to be in that with you. But more so yeah, seeing the energetics beneath it of what we both experience through it is really powerful. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill: 22:18

And yeah, it takes such a deep well, in the way that we like to move towards that it's not something that can just happen, it has its, and this is why like opening your body in order to receive a cock in your butt like that, that takes a lot of safety. And it takes a lot of surrendering and opening. So that's a process and it's that process that is such a beautiful journey. It's like this such medicine in that process. And that's why I love that the feeling and the orgasms I have with that kind of sex, but also it's it's the journey and the medicine that arises along the journey to get to that stage of being able to invite you into me,

Jacob O'Neill: 22:59

I know it's Yeah, so for me, it's all about attunement. It's about knowing when I might be wanting it more than the actual moment is asking for it. And be like cool, alright, that's my, I'm forcing my desire onto this experience and then letting that go and then just naturally allowing it to arise and for us to both choose that when it is when it is actually there and meet it so yeah, I feel like there's like a whole feeling that we have to do like a whole podcast around like the concept of like, buying stuff, but stuff and meeting it with with that level of reverence and seeing it as a sacred practice.

Meg O'Neill: 23:38

Okay, beautiful people. The next episode, this is actually your favorite fucking episode from the last year. It's called from good sex to mind blowing sex, and the snippet you're about to hear. This wasn't the only episode I spoke about this, you've most likely heard me say this again and again and again and again and again and again and again. But as his pace around, you cannot penetrate her pussy before you penetrate her heart. Or the doorway to a woman's Pussy is her heart. Right this is the number one practice for women. If you haven't received this yet from listening for the last year, please begin to practice this. Do not let anything penetrate your policy before your heart is open. Before you are ready. So let's have a listen to this snippet of me

Jacob O'Neill: 24:22

such an important such an important episode such an important episode because so many people out there are having good sex and they're playing into that good enough when there is this mind blowing possibility for sex. So when we honor this piece, and we honor this piece, go have a listen.

Meg O'Neill: 24:40

This is the greatest gift you can offer yourself and your partner. When you truly become a woman that holds the standard of my pussy will not be penetrated until my heart is penetrated. Right to become a woman that holds that fucking standard for herself. That will not have only change the way you fuck and the way you make love and the way you experience pleasure and orgasm that will change your motherfucking life. Oh, truly to become a woman that holds that standard that will ripple out into life

Jacob O'Neill: 25:24

continue continue on listening, I'm receiving it all.

Meg O'Neill: 25:27

So let will let that be for the women listening. If you're not already in this devotional practice, may this become your new new devotion to yourself that your heart must be cracked open. And that means often stopping sex when it's about to lead to sex right down. How often does this happen for us where I'm like, This doesn't happen, like every time we have sex, but sometimes it's like, well, I'm not. I'm not feeling open. I'm not feeling ready. There's part of my body that feels normal, there's part of me that just isn't my heart doesn't feel fully open, there's more to feel here or this. The truth is not to be penetrated right now. And it's about honoring that, that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes that means honoring your know, like, there's so much in this. That makes it a very powerful, transformative practice for a woman because we, as women have been conditioned not to say no, we've been conditioned to please we've been conditioned to choose other people's desires and needs and things above our own. And it's so easy sometimes to be like, oh, like, Yeah, this is consensual, and this is my partner and he's ready and he wants to fuck me. Okay, like he can he can put his cock inside of me. But where is this then showing up in your life? Where are you going? Oh, that's okay. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. This becomes such a deep fucking practice in holding your standards and holding your boundaries and honoring your know, and really worshiping and reviewing your own motherfucking body.

Jacob O'Neill: 27:06

Mm hmm. And that was incredible. And from from from a man's perspective, you have a duty to hold awareness of when a woman may be abandoning that standard.

Unknown: 27:22

Yes, yes. Yes. Tell us more.

Jacob O'Neill: 27:26

So I know when you can feel you wanting deep heart open sex. And you're not actually opening your heart. And you're like, Yep, go down. Well, yep, do this. Do this tip. I just want it and I can feel your body closing like almost pushing me away. But your, your, your mind telling you? No, I want this. I want this, I want this. And I have to be willing to say, hey, we're not having sex right now. Because something else wants to be something needs to be liberated here before I enter you all, just got full chills. Already lovers, these next two episodes, they go hand in hand, and they really help a relationship make sense. So often we can expect our partner to want the same things we want or do the same things we do. And we wanted to debunk that we wanted to give you guys a deeper understanding of how to love a man and how to love a woman. And

Meg O'Neill: 28:25

it makes sense that these were some of your favorite episodes from this last year because and I think we got some of the biggest lot of feedback from these episodes as well. So many people listening and being like, Fuck, I feel so undestroyed oh my gosh, I feel so understood. Or oh my god, I fucking understand my man a whole lot better, or I'm seeing why he doesn't step up for me or why he doesn't why the way I'm currently communicating with him would feel really shitty, because I'm treating him in the width of Alison Armstrong like a hairy woman. So these these are just like full of so much practical wisdom that you can really implement in your relationship. And

Jacob O'Neill: 29:04

it's what I really loved about these episodes was it was celebrating our differences. Yeah, it's allowing the differences to be actual awesome things rather than being this like a well I need him to be like this or I need her to be like this is like I get to love you for your uniqueness for what makes you a man and what makes you a woman so the art of loving a woman episode 17 Yeah, and the art of loving a man episode 18 We're going to drop some snippets on you right now and yeah, if you haven't already go back and take a listen to these because these are these are game changers for anyone in a heterosexual relationship that wants to deepen and love their partner better completely.

Meg O'Neill: 29:40

It is so fucking healing when you don't immediately like make her feel like she's wrong for bringing that or make her feel too much. It is so fucking healing for a woman to feel like Oh, wow. Like I'm I'm embracing the craziest parts of me. I'm bringing the parts of me that I've like been shamed for and you're still here? You're still here? Yeah. You have become really fucking impeccable at loving me in this way in the last eight years. What's your experience been of that? Oh, do you want to do you want to speak a little more to that?

Jacob O'Neill: 30:20

I think I've said this, maybe not on a podcast. But on other platforms. The piece for me is like, her emotional process is going to ask you to stay just a little bit longer than you want to be just a little bit more than you're ready for, it's going to be just outside of what you think you're capable of holding. And it's going to call you into a depth of devotion, a depth of offering your gifts, your gift of of obeying the witness, without judgment, without agenda without a protocol, without a formula. And this is yeah, that's, that's, that's been, I guess, the part of me that accepted this as as as my gift to you, I give this to you. And the second piece of that the second piece of that is that this never ends. You're never good. It's never going to end. You don't just hold space once you have Oh, yep, she felt rage. Oh, yep, she felt her anger. And that's it. Now she's going to be back to the cute little good girl and but he does everything that I don't ever get triggered by or doesn't ever make me feel uncomfortable. The truth is that this never ends. This, this this this offering of your, your, your presence is offering of your, your, your witnessing, it never ends. And that in itself is is is awesome. Because you get to literally be a space for for creation to move through the person that you love the most you get to love the parts of them that they're still learning to love. And for me, this is this wasn't always what I was, I would I would default to wanting to fix Yeah, I was such a What's the caught the eye was the fixer or the all foreigner I would like like, oh, how can I how can I? How can I return you to center? How can I you know, get this pot to stop simmering? How do I how do I get it back to back to stasis? And I was so so scared of what I took so much responsibility for your emotions, which is so different to holding space for them. And because I felt responsible for them, if they started operating where it felt uncomfortable for me, then I was like, oh, no, I can't hold this. I'm going to try and fit you back into the box. But over time, yeah, I learned to hold space, I learned to be the witness I learned to observe and attune and press my feeling into the space to see how you were doing and developed, like some vocabulary and some some some prompts that would allow me to gauge where you're at. And make sure that yeah, there's ways that I can ground you and earth to make sure that I'm sitting in a way that allows me to stay open. And at the end of the day. I don't fucking leave until it's done. Yeah. Even if it's fucking 1am At night, even if I'm late for a fucking meeting, even if it's even like I prioritize this because I know how important it is to us. Yeah, I know how important it is to you. And I know that there's a lot of times where you grew up and you didn't feel fucking understood. There's a lot of times where you weren't held and you didn't get the chance to express your emotions. And I'm like, Well, I'm gonna fucking help you change that paradigm because I love you. And if I love you, then I'm going to want what's best for you. And this becomes when you understand this man, like you start to see that our her emotional process is offering me the opportunity to give my greatest gift, which is the devotional presence that is an unmovable Yeah, that no matter what she does, how she acts or what occurs I'm going to stay and we say that with you know, with the awareness that like if you're being emotionally abused in a relationship you know, you have rights to step you know, step away or put it boundaries and nuanced conversation or conversation but if you know that you're both practicing in this art of devotion, then yeah, like you stay. And if you know there's more you ask a lover I can feel there's more. Am I right in saying that? And I

Meg O'Neill: 34:25

think the software to kind of like, make it very practical for a man who's maybe first starting to practice this. It's like, okay, I want to hold my woman more I want to honor her emotions more. I think one of the biggest things is listening to her body more than her words sometimes. So this might be you you can feel and you can you can feel when a woman is closed when your woman is holding some kind of resentment or something's going on for her. And if you're just to say, Hey, babe, what's wrong? And she goes nothing. Man Then who is not yet initiated into holding a woman will say, Cool, that's really concerning awesome, I maybe thought there was something up but awesome, I get to just go back to scrolling my phone, or I just get to go back to watching the football or just get to go back and do whatever I wanted to do. Where a man that has been initiated into his capacity to hold or is practicing this, he will feel what's beneath that. He will feel that that isn't true, he will feel her yearning in that moment, for him to offer his presence deeply. Right, because as women, when we say, oh, there's nothing wrong, and this is a practice us women can get better at is actually revealing and bringing out truth in those moments. But we want you we want you to really, to really show up in those moments for us. So in being able to meet our man with like such a deep level of compassion, such a deep level of empathy in a way, which supports us to then be patient to understand that, wow, it's not as if he's purposely withholding his emotions from us. What if we were to see in moments where our partner was struggling to express a struggling to bring his emotions? What if we could truly feel and see that, wow, there is a part of him underneath that really wants to do this, that really wants to express that really wants to bring this, but there is so much cultural conditioning, and there's so much wounding around what that would mean. And so can we be patient with him as he does that? Can we not try and rush him through? And like, traumatize him into expressing himself? Can we really be patient? Can we really be patient? And again, know that our man does not have the same experience of expressing and being with his emotions as we do as women?

Jacob O'Neill: 36:59

That's it. Yeah. Is

Meg O'Neill: 37:01

there any like one liners or like, I kind of want to make this episode so fucking practical for the women? Is there anything in a time where, and maybe you can look back? And like times early in our relationship, or where you felt uncomfortable in expression? Maybe there were moments I tried to rush you or did rush you or moments where I really nailed that? Is there something that like some real practical pieces that women can bring in those moments where they're like, I just want to feel my partner and I want him to share what's going on, or I can see that he's stressed, I can see that he's moving through something, but I, I don't know how to like, Yeah, feel him right now or support him.

Jacob O'Neill: 37:38

The key things in those moments where you feel like your partner has something to share, but they're withholding especially like for me, what really opens me personally, and what I've seen with a lot of man is nourishment. It's not about drawing it out of him being like, tell me what's wrong. I can I can hold you in this. I can take this from you. I could tell me everything. It's like, what if you just like literally came up and like touch the point on his body that you could see was holding tension. What if he came up just like placed your hands on his shoulders, and just like, brought your chest up against his back and just brought a hand down to his heart and just held it there for a moment. And yeah, he's going to tense for a minute, I'm feeling myself tensing against my own love. And he's going to tense, and he's going to feel his breath constrict. And then he's going to soften. And then you're going to bring an awareness to the tension in his body, without you needing him to give it to you, without you needing of feeling at a level of expectation.

Meg O'Neill: 38:41

Love that. And I think as women, we move emotion through expression. Yes. And so often in the times where we're feeling stressed, what we crave is for our man to go What's up, and for him to stay enough. So then we go, oh, my gosh, this, this. We just want to express and have a space, a safe container to like really let it out and be an expression. And again, this is like a key piece that we need to understand about our men is that often times, that's not what they need in these moments. Would you agree when I say that?

Jacob O'Neill: 39:22

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 39:27

One of the biggest questions you asked when we did question boxes this year, or asked for your questions or topics for the podcast was around, hey, my partner and I have very different sex drives. He wants a lot of sex or she wants a lot of sex, and I'm really different. And so this was one of the biggest challenges you brought to us in the last year. So we did an episode on it. You guys fucking loved it, Episode 47. It's called mismatched libido, mutual masturbation, and more. And here's a snippet.

Jacob O'Neill: 40:01

Rather than saying, I want to fuck you right now be like, hey lover, I'm feeling really fucking horny. I'm just gonna go into the room and self pleasure. I really just need to be with my body right now I just need to fucking move this energy. You will want to come and be a part of that. I feel I feel like that would like Yeah. Why

Meg O'Neill: 40:18

can I count? Or if I wasn't really feeling I would just I would literally I would be like, fuck, that's hot. Yeah, oh my god, I love that you're choosing that. And that's

Jacob O'Neill: 40:31

and that goes back to like owning the desire rather than like, Hey, I'm gonna go into my room and watch porn and and just get rid of this energy so I can come back and be present with you. It's like, hey, I need to go and be with my body. My body wants my body needs some lovin. And that can be like a real sense of ownership. And it can create this like, really beautiful dynamic for you guys to play into the attraction. Yeah, and the the passion between between the two, the two people.

Meg O'Neill: 41:00

Yeah, and I want to bring a piece in like, cuz I think a big part of my journey and even like witnessing when we started like self pleasuring beside each other and like, letting that be a part of you know,

Jacob O'Neill: 41:11

you remember, there was one time at an ecovillage? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, remember that? Yeah. Both so No, it just turned into this hot and heavy. Yeah, love. Maybe that was just I keep thinking about it.

Meg O'Neill: 41:22

I think we were both beside each other. And just like, I think that was the first time we'd ever just like touched ourselves, yeah, without touching each other. And then we did it each other. And this could be, again, this was I just really, if this feels so out of reach for you right now or even uncomfortable, I want you to I want to let everyone know that. Oh, my gosh, this was not there was a place where I wouldn't have even the idea of talking about masturbating, or the guy did talking about even sex felt deeply uncomfortable, even in this relationship. So this is like a journey. And a big part of the journey is our own sexual. Like, our own relationships to our sexuality and our body. Yeah, right. It's so important. So I think for women, like having your own self pleasure, practice going and exploring that, especially if you're feeling like you, you don't feel very sexually alive, or you don't want a lot of sex in your relationship. Not that there's anything, you're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. And if you desire to feel more sexually alive, start your own self pleasure practice. Because you get to create the environment where you feel safe to just explore, no one's needing anything from you, no one's projecting anything on to you. You just get to explore your own body, your own desires in the way that you want to. And then this is going to awaken. You know, this, this aliveness in you that that you can then bring in exploring a partnership. Oh, but something I wanted to say before is that, like, there will probably be triggers and discomfort, like every human I truly believe holds so much sexual shame or a lot like a lot of sexual shame. So, you know, maybe it's the first time you're witnessing your partner self pleasure or masturbate and there's like a kind of disgust or judgment, like,

Jacob O'Neill: 43:15

be with that. Trigger is a good thing

Meg O'Neill: 43:19

triggers a such good thing. That's such great information, it's, it's important to feel that it doesn't mean oh, I'm a bad person for feeling this, or I'm feeling disgust. Therefore, what he's doing is disgusting, is really important. Just because you're feeling disgust does not mean that the person doing the thing is disgusting. That's your own disgust to feel. Right. And you get to feel it. And also, then it's only by feeling it that you get to liberate it and meet that whatever you're witnessing. Maybe it's your partner masturbating. Right. Maybe it's anal play whatever it is, like you get to liberate that and then choose to meet this experience from a different place. Love that. But only by being with a trigger. Is that possible? Yeah. Next episode that you motherfucking loved.

Jacob O'Neill: 44:05

I was talking.

Meg O'Neill: 44:06

It was an annual episode. Oh, yeah. But stuff. This is one of our q&a episodes. And this is something I want to do way more in season two as well more Q and A's, because you guys loved the Q and A's. So even just a side note, whenever you have a question, send it to either of our Instagrams or the podcast Instagram, and we can we follow them away for our q&a episodes. But this q&a is called. It's episode 16 q&a, how often do you have sex and anal 101? Now, this again, was one of the most popular questions we got every time we put our q&a box out was how often do you have sex? Like what is a normal amount to be having sex? And keep listening because this is our answer. I think it's something I really want to get across when answering this question is that I don't think there's I don't think the quantity T is what you should be really dictating your life, your sex life on. Right? I even think in the early days of relationship, we were probably having a lot more sex, but the quality was not the quality we're having now. No. And there were many times where we could have sex. Yeah, but we choose not to, because we know it's not going to be the kind of sex that we both really, really truly desire. Yes. Right. Yes. And we might often be making out or moving towards making love and then the energy is not quite there. And we will honor that. Because, again, we we are not here to have kind of like, Oh, I'm not really into it, but I'm gonna let you penetrate me anyway. I, that is never, that never happens.

Jacob O'Neill: 45:50

Can I use a metaphor here? Go for it. You're gonna see what I come up with. Yeah, very like what what is going to happen. So if anyone plays guitar, like there's six strings on a guitar, and if one of those strings is out of tune, and you try to play a chord, the whole chord will sound just off, you'd be like, ah, something doesn't sound quite right. And if you try to play a song, with one of those chords are one of the strings out of tune. It just doesn't sound right. There's something just off. And this is what we're talking about, like when the energy isn't right. There's something that isn't, that isn't in alignment, or isn't tuned to the right vibration. And the same sort of thing is like, if we try to keep having sex with that slight bit of incongruence, we're not going to we make orgasm, we may have a good sex, but the quality isn't there. And that's always been our value when it comes to this over the last few years is what is the quality of the sex that we're having rather than the quantity. But I also know that if we haven't had sex in, say, two weeks time, and we're both really in depth in our business, that's an invitation. We're like, hey, we need to carve out some time, which I think was the next question. Like, hey, we haven't been out on a date for for for a month. We haven't been that would I don't think that would happen with with you. I think I would pick up on that a lot quicker. But hey, we haven't spent we haven't spent any quality time together. We haven't taken the time to be with each other for that energy to build to the point where sex is, is that is the answer. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 47:21

And for me, I think this is really beautiful. And obviously this also depends on your life circumstances. Like I know if you're a parent, this is there's a different reality to this, obviously. But for us, sex doesn't really it's not a thing of like, when are we going to have sex? For me? It is a natural result when we spend quality time together. Yeah. And when we are really choosing to be present with each other sex just unfolds from that. Yes. And you know, this. So for us, it is like, Okay, what needs to happen? What do we need to be choosing in our life to make that unfold? And I think this is if you are wanting to increase the consistency of the sex you're having the or the amount of sex, you're having really tune into? What is the environment that I require? In order to be ready for that? Right? Maybe it is. And for women, it's this is such an important piece for us. We're not just going to be tough, a lot of the time, we're not going to be turned on like this. It's not as if a man can be like, yes, let's like, I'm ready, let's go. Some women can be like that. But majority of the women I work with are not like that we require our hearts to be opened before our policy is open. Yeah. And that takes a depth of presence, we need to feel our love are really, really there with us, we need to really feel that, that quality time or that real, like that real deep presence. And so this might be something instead of asking the question, how do I make space for sex? Maybe the more powerful question is, how do we make space to deep quality time and deep moments of intimacy?

Jacob O'Neill: 49:07

Okay, this next episode, this was born on Instagram once again, it was a one back and forth you connecting with people and engaging and having some back and forth and this is around the sexy shit men do.

Meg O'Neill: 49:23

I think I put a photo up but no, it was because little backstory, our toilet roll holder had fallen off broken. And I said because we live in a rental and I said to you should we call the real estate and you were like, Fuck, no. How dare you, I will fix it. And I went on and shared that with all my community on Instagram and you guys thought it was the funniest thing and also everyone was saying how sexy I was saying how sexy that was. And so many women were sharing how sexy that was when a man can fix ship. So then I put a question but hooked up on Instagram to say shit like what some sexy shit men do. And we got the best fucking responses. So much fun. I think that's the biggest question box people have answered ever or the most popular question box I've done and so we decided to do a whole episode on it. And so this episode it's episode 38 Sexy ship men do is literally us just doing commentary on your answers about Sexy

Jacob O'Neill: 50:26

Funny backwards hat when is the best date is I think that's the one we talked about in this snippet. Yeah, go and have a listen.

Meg O'Neill: 50:33

Okay, one that I loved that came up a lot. Three or four times was backward Capps.

Jacob O'Neill: 50:40

I need some more data on this like

Meg O'Neill: 50:43

women then I asked you when I read and then I asked you this morning I was like, because you have a hat on I was like, can you put your hat backwards? And then was like, Oh, I see. I see it I've never thought that before. So

Jacob O'Neill: 50:59

yeah, I need some more data so shoot us a message is about backwards kept Yeah.

Meg O'Neill: 51:03

What do you love about backwards carbs? Why I felt it in my body? Yeah, wanting Yeah. Yeah, it's just my PC did something.

Jacob O'Neill: 51:11

Okay. Yeah. So I'm excited to see some backward caps getting around.

Meg O'Neill: 51:17

That was the main one around like visual like in terms of what they're wearing. Someone else said work boots. They find work boots. Very sexy.

Jacob O'Neill: 51:25

Well, you know, a lot of I've got a friend and shout out Dylan like Dylan rocks around the work boots. And he you're in a lot of women that I know. Like, yeah, Dylan. Yeah. And he rocks to the work boots. Pretty, pretty solid.

Meg O'Neill: 51:37

His hair and he's good. And he's good. Yeah, him coming up. We're talking about Dylan. Yeah, he'll love it. Him coming out. He's got that motorbike though. Yeah, yeah. And then the leather vest he wears and he's got talent and him riding up on that obnoxiously loud motorbike. It's very sad for

Jacob O'Neill: 51:58

Yeah, even I even my feminine. My feminine course does when he rocks up on that motorbike and it's like boy it's very interesting drawn to it. Okay, I think signal said like a sharp dressed man as well. Yeah,

Meg O'Neill: 52:12

someone said it. What I loved the way she put it. dress she finds dressing sharp and dramatic. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill: 52:20

And like that makes me think of like, people like James Bond like dressing. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill: 52:24

I love that word dressing sharp. Okay, some other ones. So this particular person said, my man doesn't fix shit, because this was off the back of talking about the toilet roll holder. And she said I'm okay with that. But he does tell me what to do a lot. drool,

Unknown: 52:40

drool, drool.

Jacob O'Neill: 52:41

I love that you love being told what to do. Yeah. And I

Meg O'Neill: 52:44

think, you know, this is so not I would never be I don't never want to be like in a DOM sub 24/7 relationship. No way. But I love that discernment you have in like, yeah, knowing when to bring that or I'll just ask for it. Like before, when I was trying on a top, I was like, Can you pick? Anyone like no. And I was like, No, I just don't want to make the decision. For me. Like, I love knowing that I'm a woman that can make especially as a woman in business where I'm making a lot of decisions all the time. And I'm leading a life. It's so beautiful to have that experience of like, fucking outsourcing that and resting into not having to make decisions like That's fucking hot for me. Definitely. So I feel that when my man says, I'll fix that.

Jacob O'Neill: 53:36

key piece to that I'll fix that the thing that actually grounds that is then going in fixing it. I don't know what the last last last podcast, we're talking about this like saying you're gonna do it and then not doing it. That's a recipe for disaster, because you're gonna get a little hit of feminine nourishment. When you say you're gonna do it, and she'll open to you. Like, oh, yeah, that's sexy. Yeah. But then two weeks later, when it's not done, and you've said you were going to do it, that completely. It takes it it creates this whole element of mistrust. Yes. Which is what we're speaking about, like, these things are not just about what women find sexy. It's like what women find they can rest into, which is a trust and a safety thing and a respect thing. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. This next one is a q&a as well, this episode, and you guys loved the q&a. You and I survived. But this one's all about getting kinky. It is. And this one's about desires. And this is one about fulfilling desires and having conversations around desires and how it can lead to an even more epic relationship when you bring them in our safe and honest, open way. I think that's such a big thing like getting kinky isn't always like going straight to the kink. It's actually the conversations that happen around it and we really speak to the speak to this very regularly there's quite a strong A strong thread amongst all of our podcasts is how you can actually by just having the conversation that is half of the actual, the practice opening to it so you can actually feel connected to your partner and then it's not really about what you guys do. It's the fact that you are feeling you can feel each other's hearts, right? Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 55:18

And we teach you how to have this Converse these kind of conversations if there's a desire you have in the bedroom, we talk all about that in this episode, it's called q&a, getting kinky finding the g spot and much more, it's episode 39. And if you want more, we highly recommend you going by our desire date. So this is a date night experience that we've designed we actually did it up for ourselves originally and it worked because we wanted to get kinky and we wanted to expand outside of just having our none

Jacob O'Neill: 55:47

of those episodes would be possible without the desire to totally animal

Meg O'Neill: 55:51

was born out anal experience was born from us doing the design a to get us like five or six years ago. And so we created this, it was such a game changer for our relationship and opening us up to having this real non judgmental communication around desires and fantasies and expanding into wider spaces in in the bedroom. So we created the design a for you. It's a guided date night, where we guide you online through various audio recordings into expressing your desires and having this conversation really safe. non judgmental space. It's only 27 Ozzy dollars, so it's ridiculously cheap. If there's one thing in our work that I suggest couples do, it's the desire date. Oh, I so fucking game changing. So you can either find that go to either about Instagrams or DMS for the link or just head to the show notes below. And it'll be there and go purchase it and go book in your sexy desire date night. And now listen to this fun little snippet from that episode, get it

Jacob O'Neill: 56:53

one of the parts of BDSM. And kink is actually exploring desires. And one of the biggest aversions that men and women can have, if they've got the nice guy kind of energy, or if they've got the good girl kind of energy, they don't want to be too much, they don't want to take up too much space. And when you start to bring your desires to your relationship, they start to feel the space. So this is probably the first thing too, that I like to share with people is okay, your desires are okay. It's okay to have desires, it's actually quite normal. And the practice here for all of us and whoever, whoever you are, or whoever you're relating with is, can you actually just start to normalize your desires, and not tack on an expectation with them. Because that was the biggest thing I realized when we went into the desire date and did it it was like, I felt free because I got to share all of these desires. And it wasn't even that I needed for them to be actualized or acted upon in that moment. It's just that I got to put them out there and be witnessed. And I'd say we probably have by now ticked quite a few of those things off. But it was more just in the the the sharing and the vulnerability that cracked me open and cracked you open. And then we had the connection. And then it was, ah, this is what I'm looking for the feeling not the action is just a desire as an honoring of the feeling, which then allows the connection to occur. So yeah, that I feel like I've gone a little off track. But that's super important. Because a lot of guys I know, like I don't want to be I don't want to ask too much of my partner. So the only way you can ask too much of your partners if your desire has an expectation connected to it. Oh.

Meg O'Neill: 58:40

And I think one of the things that we speak a lot into in the desire date. And this is an important piece to bring in when you are wanting to share desires, especially you know, kinky or desires or, you know, while the desires in the bedroom is really having a consciousness about not creating being a safe space for your partner. And this doesn't mean having to say yes to what they want to do. Let's use anal for example. Like your partner wants to explore that. And you at the moment are in no. You can hear his desire for that. You can celebrate his desire for that. And you can own your know. Yes. And often what we do especially because the truth is a lot of these like wild a kinky stuff is taboo. And when something is taboo, it means we hold shame around it. Right? And so if our partner brings us something that in our experience or in our body feels taboo or feel shameful, there is often a reaction of projecting that shame onto them and making them feel feel embarrassed or wrong for wanting that. Were in order to really I think this is like an a necessary ingredient. And this is why BDSM and playing in these kinds of spaces is actually so fucking profound. Like it's so fucking profound for consent and understanding, like really deepening into like layers of consent, and the level of communication and the level of non judgment that is needed when you're playing in those spaces and you're leaning into more wildly kinky things in partnership or with a lover like it's fucking it takes a lot of masterful communication and it takes a lot of like owning your know or owning your gas or understanding your know when you're Yes, lovers.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:00:48

This next episode is how to pleasure a woman What number is this? My Love Episode said 4545. This is such an incredible episode. It includes so much of what you may not think as well, like how to pleasure a woman isn't just finding the G Spot It isn't just the specific moves or like having a specific way to touch her policy or a way to a specific sex position. This is so much more than that. And that's what I loved about this episode was that we actually got to unpack the the actual approach that we can take to pleasuring our woman to make sure that we're not only aware of her needs, but we're attuning to the moment. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 1:01:31

And I know in this episode, I guided everyone listening through like the landscape of a woman and where to begin and how to actually move through the different parts of a woman before you actually get to get to her pussy and how to open her like a flower. Yes, um, so this is for if you if you're in heterosexual relationship, this is for you as a woman, right, because you're gonna understand yourself a lot better. And then this is also for the men to learn how to actually meet your woman's body. If you want more after this episode, I highly recommend going and purchasing my pleasure anatomy workshop. So again, this is for is designed for women to understand their pussies better to understand how to actually reach their orgasmic potential. If you're having sex, that's painful, if you're having sex, that's just a bit mad. A lot of the time, it's because you don't actually understand the anatomy of your arousal and how how your pussy becomes aroused and what she needs in order to have incredible sex. But this is also for you can sit down and watch this with your man. So he understands more about the anatomy and arousal of your policies so he can learn to pleasure her better. So there's a link in the show notes for this as well. And this is episode 45. How to pleasure a woman is

Jacob O'Neill: 1:02:47

a little snippet enjoy. This is probably the key thing is different, like men can be very much like, straight to the point. And we spoke about this on another podcast about that urgency. So the first thing that you like as a man if you are pleasuring a woman or if you are wanting to pleasure a woman is to insecure insecure, you ensure that her heart is in the space that it's a rice, because if it hasn't, then you aren't aware of her whole body, you aren't aware of what these might, in my opinion, the most important part of sex, the most important part of pleasure is that someone's heart is in it.

Meg O'Neill: 1:03:22

Yes. And you could touch all the in quotation marks right places and do all the right things. But if a woman's heart hasn't arrived, if she is not feeling safe to open, or simply if she's just done a huge fucking day where she has been really busy and she's hanging out in her head, she is going to struggle again, no matter how good your tongue is, no matter how good your fingers are, no matter how good anything is, she is going to struggle to really relax into the depth of her pleasure. So this is the number one piece to know about a woman's arousal and a woman's pleasure is that her heart must arrive. And for those of you in long term relationships as well, this is really important because if there is something that a woman is holding on to, if there is some kind of closure in her heart, if she is you know she's there's some unspoken things that she hasn't brought to you or hasn't brought into the space. Or if you did something an hour before the pista off. She hasn't spoken about it. If you desire to pleasure, that woman that is going to need to be brought to the surface, right the doorway to her pussy, but also the doorway to her being able to relax into the depth of her pleasure is being able to open her heart. Right and that means often having a conversation on bringing something forth. And we talk about this a lot on the podcast that this happens a lot for us like we might begin to have sex or begin to make out and then you will often feel it and I will feel that my buddy isn't really opening or going into those states of pleasure. And I can feel oh, there's like something here, there's something to be spoken into, or there's something to be met together.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:05:14

Yeah, and I really want to reiterate this for men is like, sometimes it actually has nothing to do with you why her heart is closed the wife has in her head. But if you want to please her, if you want to provide pleasure to her, then this is the first step, anything that you try to do outside of this, or in sub like substituting this, you're not going to, you're not going to create the what I believe is one of most important parts of pleasure, which is to feel a deep connection with another person, especially in intimacy. So realistically, the the only thing that you can do to start any form of pleasure is to is to check Hey, is there is this person's heart here? Yeah. And I know I've been going down on you before and like, it'll just like they'll just all of a sudden, they'll be this like, numbness in your body and I'm like, her heart's not here. It's like, I've got to stop. And even sometimes, even sometimes, you'll be like, no, no, no, let's just keep going. And like, oh, no, this is Mike. This is my my responsibility if I'm aware, I have a duty to actually address it.

Meg O'Neill: 1:06:21

Yes. And final snippets my love's I hope you're enjoying this recap and spending time with us when the last year final snippets, we add a few guest episodes here on the podcast. In the last year, we had my beautiful friend Lola Richie. We had the beautiful couple, Oren Harris and Chelsea Joe Huntsman. And then we also had my beautiful friend and fellow sex educator, Eleanor Hadley. And she came on These were, these were your favorite fucking guest episodes. And the reels that I made with these just went the fuck off on Instagram. The first episode was episode 53 It was called pussy licking 101 The Ultimate Guide to licking policy. And then episode 54 was blow jobs 101 was the ultimate guide to sucking cock there. And little spoiler alert season two, we're gonna have videos full video content, you're gonna be able to watch every episode on Spotify or YouTube you choose. And these episodes are going to be uploaded to YouTube because they are worth watching. So even if you've already listened to them, Go back when they're on YouTube will let you know. Because Eleanor had like props and dildos and vulva cushions. And we had lollipops, and we were looking lollipops, as she taught me how to lick pissy it was they were very fucking fun episodes. So much fun. So this is we speak a lot about the energetics of sucking cock and looking pussy. But also Eleanor speaks into a real almost like formula and some real tricks and tips and tactics for Yeah, being able to pleasure and worship a cocktail pussy really powerfully. So here's a few snippets by going Listen to these Episodes Episode 53 and 54. To go and equip yourself with some pussy licking and cocksucking skills, enjoy others, well, thank you

Unknown: 1:08:18

kind of inviting our partner or working to a point where our partner is practically begging for us to be inside. They're like, Oh, my God, like, I just need you in me now. Like, we want to get to that point. And if you try to do that, too soon, it's gonna feel a little bit jarring. And it won't be anywhere near as pleasurable. And so you're kind of building up this pressure this to your, you know, you're allowing that blood to flow to the stimulus valves to all of the places that it needs to in the vulva. And building up that pleasure to the point where they're like, Oh, my God, I cannot I can last another second without you inside me. Like, practically begging, please, for the love of God. That's what we want to get to. And if you rush that process, you're essentially just sort of dialing down the level of pleasure potential.

Meg O'Neill: 1:09:13

Right? Totally. And a lot of women don't even know that experience getting to that stage of like, oh, I need you inside of me exempt. That's a lot of why women aren't having, you know, satisfying sex or struggling with orgasm. Yeah, that not allowing for that preheating of the oven. Yeah,

Unknown: 1:09:31

exactly. And so like, if anyone's listening, they're like, I've never like craved a dick in me. I mean, maybe. Maybe that's why you're listening. Maybe you want to be a pro because you got it for yourself. But for people who have that experience, like it's so so helpful, to take your time to the point where you're like, oh my god, I'm actually craving this. And if you are the person who's provided Being someone with pleasure, you have a lot of power there. And you can like make them like sweat a little bit and be like, I'm going to heat the fuck out of you, I'm going to build that pleasure off until you're like about to explode. And then we're going to keep riding those waves. It's really amazing. How fun to be able to gift that level of pleasure to someone.

Meg O'Neill: 1:10:21

And because I think a big part of like, COC worship is being able to genuinely, you know, look that cock in the eye and be like, you're beautiful. I decided to put you in my mouth. I'm excited to, you know, have a relationship with you right now. And that can be a fucking journey. Yeah. And I think he's deeply related to obviously, the person who has that caucus. Well. But yeah, what would what would be, what would be some of those pieces you would bring around that for you.

Unknown: 1:10:50

So very similar to the topic that we talk about a lot when we speak about going down on the sea is safety. So I'm not going to give just anyone a blow job. Just because I like giving blowjobs I like giving a blowjob to someone who I feel deserves it, who I feel safe with, who I trust, who I know, cares about my pleasure as well. And isn't just trying to use me to get their pleasure. Despite the fact that I'm I'm wanting to bring them pleasure in that moment. If I feel like it's kind of more like transactional, or just like one sided? Yeah, I'm not going to be as excited about doing that. So firstly, I think about like, who? Who are you going down on? And like, do you actually really give a fuck about their pleasure? Like, do you do want to connect with them in this way? Or does it feel like a chore? Do you feel like you're not being respected in some way, shape? Or form? Is there some kind of lingering resentment within your relationship within your connection, then it's not going to be as Reverend, you're not going to like it as much. And so I think that's a really, really key factor. Yeah, again, you know, as much as I love sharing, like tangible tips and techniques, we can never, ever just throw that on to a bad relationship. You know, if you're like, I resent you, because for the past, like 10 years, you have belittled me every single day in front of my family, or whatever. Or like, you literally never do what you say you're going to do, or like there's something there that is like this distressing resentment. There's no no tips and tricks that I can teach you that are going to just be like, Oh, cool. Now, like, I can give you a great blowjob. I don't want to, because I don't like I'm gonna send you like, I don't feel connected with you. I don't feel safe with you. I don't respect you. Or I don't feel respected by you. Like you're not you need to work on that stuff first. Yeah. And so this isn't a band aid. This is more like, how can we elevate a great sex life that we already have?

Meg O'Neill: 1:12:58

I love that. And so much of what you just spoke about is like, such key topics we talk about here like that resentment piece. I often say if you don't want to fuck your partner, what conversation are you not having? We're like what's going on said we talked about like the channel between the hearts like, what they're blocking that intimacy that then makes all of this possible and fun and playful and beautiful. Exactly. Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:13:21

Okay, lovers, this is the end of this podcast. Thank you so much. Goodbye. This is the end of this podcast episode, I should say we are starting season two of these podcasts, this podcast will never die. It is immortal. It'll go it'll continue on as eternal.

Meg O'Neill: 1:13:40

We will make our future children they carry out this play.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:13:44

And they're gonna have to listen to all of the podcasts just as they hit puberty now this podcast is coming to an end guys, we just want to say thank you for walking down memory lane of the first year of sex, love and everything in between this as you know, I just want to give you my love a pat on the back of myself a pat on the back and say like we did it, like we continually showed up. And I'm so proud of, you know, the sacrifices that we've made and the devotion that we've shown to our art. And I believe that our relationship is a work of art. And the way that we share it is, is it's fucking music. It's heartfelt. It's a heartfelt fucking masterpiece. I'm going to celebrate us for what we've created and how we show up and what we offer the world in our sacred union. So thank you, thank you. And yeah, thank you guys so much once again for for sticking with us through this beautiful little chat. Just checking in on all those favorite episodes and we love like Mike said we'd love you guys to review we'd love to receive your messages. We'd love to be in relationship with you guys as well. So never hesitate to shoot us a message on Instagram or go over and throw that review up on Apple podcasts. And just want to recap as well that we're Uh, we're going to be up, we're going to be starting Season Two shortly. And it's gonna be a whole lot more guests, which I'm super excited about. I'm

Meg O'Neill: 1:15:08

really excited. We have a whole lot of guests lined up over the next few months. So you can expect Yeah, more and more and more guest episodes, every single month. Or probably every fortnight it's going to be us, just the two of us. So please know that, you know, our deep conversations our raw unfiltered behind the scenes look into our marriage, our relationship our sex live, it's not going anywhere. You are still gonna get the uncertain censored, unfiltered O'Neill's for sure. Totally. We're so excited for ya, to bring you guests to deepen with guests to bring you experts in the field of relationships and sex. And I'm so fucking excited about the guests that are coming. Really epic guests lined up. Yeah, and

Jacob O'Neill: 1:15:49

we've and sorry, you go on,

Meg O'Neill: 1:15:50

I was just gonna say, season two is going to be filmed. It's all going to be filmed. If we highly recommend you, I'm a Spotify listener. That's where I listen to my podcasts. So you're going to be able to watch episodes on Spotify, but also on YouTube. If you want to just continue to listen as you're walking or driving or whatever, that's perfectly okay, as well. But I know some people just like love the visual. So I can't wait for you to see us as well in season two. Totally.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:16:16

And the thing that season two, like we're getting guests in that we fucking love. That's the thing. We're excited to speak to these people. So what we want you guys to know is that like, Yeah, I'm gonna be having conversations with some some people, Megan's gonna be having conversations with some people, and we're gonna be having conversations together with guests, there's gonna be so many different ways that you're gonna be able to receive information from different people. And I'm really excited about this, because it's gonna bring a whole nother depth to the podcast and what we're wanting to speak into, but it's gonna There's gonna be loads of sex, loads of love, and loads of relationship stuff on here, that's not going anywhere. So bring it on.

Meg O'Neill: 1:16:49

We love you. Once again, we're so fucking grateful. We're so excited to continue journeying alongside you and serving you and serving your relationship. If you desire more from us, I know you guys love the fucking podcast, but our doors are always open to work with us. Again, the links in the show notes for all the ways to work with us the desired eight doors to full spectrum woman opens during the membership, you are always taking men in your membership secret and

Jacob O'Neill: 1:17:18

loads of events coming up over the next year as well with the with the men's work that we're doing. So you

Meg O'Neill: 1:17:23

can come and work with either Jake or I one on one. And we also do relationship coaching now. So we do 212 You can work really deeply well to combo of one on one and two on two. Basically, if you are if you're a man wanting to work with Jacob and a woman or wanting to work with me, and you're in partnership with each other, and you want us to support you in your relationship as well. Yeah, we have big relationship immersions that are going down this year as well. So yeah, just DM us if if you want to deepen with us, we would fucking love that much. Is that everything my love? I feel completely complete. Were complete on season one.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:18:00

Let's go. Let's go. We will

Meg O'Neill: 1:18:02

see you season two next week. We can't wait. We'll see you then.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:18:06

Love you so much, guys. Thanks

Meg O'Neill: 1:18:07

for being here. Peace.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:18:11

Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of sex, love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan, I You can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover

Meg O'Neill: 1:18:25

at the dot mag dot o amazing

Jacob O'Neill: 1:18:30

and yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all the information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions, like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day.

Meg O'Neill: 1:18:49

Thanks for being here.

Jacob O'Neill: 1:18:50

Big Big Love.