Jacob's just blown out his birthday candles and is back for this episode!
Meg spills the beans on their latest adventure with psychedelics and plant medicine while celebrating Jacob's birthday.
They get real about how plant medicine isn't just a trip; it's a deep dive into self-love, uncovering those shadowy corners of ourselves that usually stay hidden.
They also go all in on birthdays, discuss family dynamics, and the importance of learning how to move *with* life.
This episode is a journey into the good stuff: healing, growth, and the messy, beautiful ties that bind us all.
We also riff off on:
⚡ If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.
AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!
⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:
IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween
⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…
The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt
Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU
Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information.
Jacob's just blown out his birthday candles and is back for this episode!
Meg spills the beans on their latest adventure with psychedelics and plant medicine while celebrating Jacob's birthday.
They get real about how plant medicine isn't just a trip; it's a deep dive into self-love, uncovering those shadowy corners of ourselves that usually stay hidden.
They also go all in on birthdays, discuss family dynamics, and the importance of learning how to move *with* life.
This episode is a journey into the good stuff: healing, growth, and the messy, beautiful ties that bind us all.
We also riff off on:
⚡ If you loved this episode & the podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything.
AND… it would mean the world to us if you rated & reviewed the show.
We carefully read each and every review, and we love hearing about your experience with the podcast!
⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:
IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween
⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…
The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt
Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU
Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information.
Hey beautiful humans. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between.
Jacob O'Neill:You're here with Jacob and my wife, Meg. And this
Meg O'Neill:is the place where we have all them very, very real role and extremely unfiltered conversations about sex, love and everything in between.
Jacob O'Neill:It's here you get a behind the scenes look into our relationship. And we will not be holding back well, we might not know.
Meg O'Neill:You don't know how to do that. Not at all. So beautiful ones. Thank you for being here. Enjoy this episode.
Jacob O'Neill:Hey, lover.
Meg O'Neill:Hi. Hi.
Jacob O'Neill:How you doing?
Meg O'Neill:I am feeling great today. That's
Jacob O'Neill:what I'd like to hear everybody. What up lovers lovers. Welcome back. Thank you. To you. Yes,
Meg O'Neill:we had two weeks without you.
Jacob O'Neill:Yeah, you guys have been hanging out without me. I've felt a little left out.
Meg O'Neill:How much did you miss Jacob?
Jacob O'Neill:Please shower me with validation say
Meg O'Neill:that just be my podcast now.
Jacob O'Neill:Pick a size. Now it's good to be back my love. You had a couple of awesome episodes with Eleanor and everyone's been loving
Meg O'Neill:those episodes went off. If you're listening and you haven't listened to either of those episodes, just pause this and go back. They're really fucking good. I can guarantee those are good. I don't know where this one's going.
Jacob O'Neill:I think
Meg O'Neill:they're about there's a blow job 10101. And then there's looking pussy one I once are very dive in. Lots of practical tips await you.
Jacob O'Neill:I think it's really fun when you're met, like what I saw, like we've been talking about season two, which is coming up shortly. Right. We're talking about having guests on more and more guests. I'm so excited. And one of our parameters for having guests on is like, am I fucking excited to speak to these people? Like, do these people like, excite me? Yeah, and it doesn't matter. Like for me, it doesn't matter how good you are at what you do, or what accolades or achievements you've had. But if I'm excited to speak to you, if I feel a vibe, then that's the parameter for how I'm going to be choosing to, like, bring people on. Come on people that have that energy that want to like jam and vibe and bring something to the space.
Meg O'Neill:Yeah, we're never gonna have someone on just because they have 100,000 followers and like, we're not sellouts. But truly, I need to be able to, like sit in front of someone and be you know how curious I am. If I'm having a conversation with someone, I want to be genuinely curious. I want to be so excited and inspired by what they stand for. So we have a big list. We're actually doing a really epic podcast interview tomorrow with another couple. So yes, yes, that'll be on the podcast next week. I'm so fucking excited for that conversation. And then we have a whole lot of other guests. Django,
Jacob O'Neill:Django, you are not a guest and
Meg O'Neill:goes in the podcast room right now and is no, no
Jacob O'Neill:this is this is training. We're going to talk a little bit about parenthood and how this little dog is teaching me so much.
Unknown:Oh
Meg O'Neill:he usually just lives down chill. I think it's because we haven't been on a walk today. Anyway, guys, he nearly beat the court and we would have dropped out so yeah,
Jacob O'Neill:he nearly chewed the audio cord. Surprise surprise Django. We love you.
Meg O'Neill:We love you. And I did not understand like I was not. I liked dogs, but I've never owned a dog. Yeah, so I used to find it. Strange not strange, but I didn't really fully get when people have a dog how much you love a fucking dog? And now I'm like, what is it going to feel like to Love A Child that you and I both created? Yeah, it's gonna be wild. I just love watching him sleeper in the car like turning behind and just constantly watching him when we drive places and just watching him adventure. That's my favorite thing. Like watching him new. Learn new skills.
Jacob O'Neill:Like this one right here. Yeah,
Meg O'Neill:he's playing with a bottle. This is now just an episode devoted to
Unknown:our dog to tell you how good our dog is. That and I get
Meg O'Neill:so excited and just like, I'm so bursting with love and just like oh, and I'm like, What the fuck is going to like having a child going to feel like that's going to be out of this fucking world. Amen.
Jacob O'Neill:So out of this fucking world. Yeah, it terrifies me to hear that level of like, holy shit, is my heart gonna, like explode out of my chest? Probably.
Meg O'Neill:And then the vulnerability that also comes with and I think we can even bring this back into do we need to actually have him leave the space
Jacob O'Neill:and actually get him to leave the space. So if you keep talking my love, we're going to do it.
Meg O'Neill:Django is no longer he usually just lives down under On shares, but he's being a bit of a menace right now. And he's wanting to chew chords and do things. So I think if we bring this into like the context of relationships, too, it's like very risky and vulnerable to love someone. And I think it's the same way that we have a dog or a child like when when we expand our capacity to love, we're also signing up to expand our potential capacity to feel deep pain, with loss with death with breakups with all of it. Yeah. And again, I can't imagine, like, we've been talking about the dog that, you know, he will most likely have a smaller lifespan than us. And there will one day be a time where he's no longer walking this earth and we are and he's gonna die. He's gonna die.
Jacob O'Neill:He's not gonna walk is he's gonna there's gonna be a point where we have to say, so yeah, forever, and it's gonna be fucking tragic.
Meg O'Neill:Yeah, and that. And I think it's the same. Well, hopefully we outlet our children outlive us. But that same like, I was actually thinking of this yesterday, we took a bit of mush. It was your birthday. Happy birthday.
Jacob O'Neill:Thank you. Thank you.
Meg O'Neill:And we took a little bit of mushrooms, which is journey Davonne.
Jacob O'Neill:For the amount that you took you You did well,
Meg O'Neill:it was Do you mean it was like a small Yeah, it wasn't a big guys. Yeah. But we were at these beautiful rock pools for Jacob's birthday. And there was no one there. And it was so stunning, and I was like, half naked, and we took a little bit of mushrooms, and we're just really enjoying ourselves, and just with Django, then next minute, within five minutes, 20 other people rocked up. Yeah. And it was just as the mushrooms are really hitting. So I, you reminded me later that I feel very deeply. So my, what I was feeling, I just began to feel really anxious. And really, I was just like, feeling really exposed. And I was feeling a lot. And this kid got rushed down this little waterfall and I was really close to it. And he was in he wouldn't have died. But he was like screaming, it was like a three year old and his dad had to chase him down these rapids, it was really intense. And I'm on mushrooms, it was just a lot. So I started to feel a lot. But then we ended up moving deeper into, into the rock pools and the waterfalls. And we were alone again. But yeah, I was going through my deep process. And something that came out of that was like this, this remembering, and this is like, how I fucking live and what I teach. But if we want a beautiful life, or our ability, or our capacity to experience beauty is directly proportionate to our capacity to feel a willingness to feel. Yeah, and we cannot like, you know, if we want to experience more love, or more joy, more beauty, or whatever it is, and will ecstasy or more, you know, pleasure. We can't just sign up for that end of the spectrum. We're actually just signing up to being more sensitive and attuned to the full spectrum of our human emotions. And I think that's that's a huge thing that psychedelics and plant medicine teach me it's like, look at your capacity to feel and when you willingly go deep into the shadow into the dark, that like liberates you huge amount of ecstasy, a huge amount of what we would say is like desirable emotions. And then what are the one in the fucking same? We can't just sign up for one? Totally. I agree. And I got all the way there from talking about how much I love my dog. Yes.
Jacob O'Neill:Yeah, I think feeling is the key for so many people in this modern world. Like, most of the stuff that I talk to men about is them trying to understand something before they feel it. Like, oh, what's wrong with me? How do I do this? I'm like, what if you could just like let the feeling be here? What's the feeling? Can you allow it and quite often it has to do with like, not wanting to become a hot mess or not wanting to let go? Like letting go is such a is such a tormenting thing for the modern person, I believe. And what I you know, what I witnessed in you is like you almost like surrendering to this, this layer of grief that you hadn't yet felt. And for me grief is like the the ultimate Liberator is that it is really it's an embodied letting go. It's an embodied surrender to actually expose yourself to the feeling of grief is to truly let go off.
Meg O'Neill:And I believe when we give ourselves over to grief, it is actually one of the most beautiful experiences we can pull simply have the human like that, that one of my favorite experiences when I'm not resisting grief, that's where the suffering is. When we resist anything there is suffering. But when we truly, like you said, surrender into it, uh, let let ourselves go into it, give ourselves over to it. We give ourselves over to the beauty of feeling the beauty of letting life move through us.
Jacob O'Neill:I think I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Parang Lee, who's a incredible musician, and I heard this on another podcast he was speaking on was he talks about how the veil between grief and joy is like paper thin. And when we access grief, it gives us access to like this depth of joy that is really unbridled, it's really, something is not just happiness, it's like this, this insatiable, joyous thing that like comes from a deep part of us. That is, that really is infinite. And that, for me is like, when we go through the portal of grief, when we go through the feelings that we haven't felt it gives us access to something that doesn't mean that we don't have to rely on our partner being happy, we don't have to rely on a certain amount of money in the bank account, we'd have to rely on whether we did well this month in our business, or whether we won that football match on the weekend, all of these different things is and none of that becomes the determinant, the thing that determines my joy, my joy comes from within because I've been willing to go through what was in fog in the road or in front of it, or blocking it rather.
Meg O'Neill:And I think and I'd love to hear your perspective on this. But for me, plant medicine and psychedelics has been such a huge part of that embodied experience. I don't think it's the only way and I don't actually think it's everyone's path to do plant medicine or psychedelics, no fucking way. But to have that embodied experience of being met with your grief, the grief that's been locked up in your body, or whatever it is that's been locked up and to come face to face with it. And on plant medicine or psychedelics, you must choose to feel that the medicine doesn't do it for you, you must be an active participant, or as our one of our teachers says, You must meet the medicine halfway or like 5050. But yeah, that experience of like feeling that and then the liberation, like the liberation of like, wow, I've met that grief and it felt so icky and sticky while I'm on plant medicine. And then there's like this point of liberation was suddenly I just feel such ecstasy and joy. And I've moved from wailing with snot everywhere on the ground, like crying, to suddenly just like dancing and circling my hips and laughing and just being in like, the deepest state of ecstasy I've ever felt. And so for me, I think those experiences that, you know, we've, I think I've almost been, I think my first plant medicine ceremony was almost 10 years ago now, which is wild. But I think that for me, that path has really given me that blueprint for what it is like to how interconnected and like how much the veil is. So paper thin, like you said,
Jacob O'Neill:100%. And whatever. ngModel. Like we've worked with the plants, like you said, for so many years, and the modality that you choose, it's the one that gets the thing that won't actually back down. That's what I've noticed with plant medicine, it's like it's not going to back away from the hard stuff, it's going to call you deeper into it. And then you have to choose to admit it there. Because you know, I've spent hours in ceremony resisting only to like, actually, like, go into it with the medicine and have my you know, my moment of release and then accessing the liberation like fuck, why was I? Why did you spend six hours rolling around fighting it? And yeah, it's taught me a lot around receiving. And one of the things that I I always remind myself is I can't can I find? Can I find grace in letting go? Can I find the grace in letting go? Can I be graceful in this? Can I like let myself have have to, like be graceful? Because normally I just it's a fucking dogfight for me and anything because I'm really headstrong, and I really struggled to receive and that has been a massive, massive, recurring theme in my life across all areas is like, do I feel worthy of receiving this? And quite often the answer is no. And then I have to face off with what feeling is is accompanying that belief. And that's where I've found like most of my liberation is like, knowing that I am actually fucking worthy knowing that I do have value to offer the world knowing that I am able to receive in a way that has me living a life that is not only inspiring for myself but inspiring for others and allows me to do good work.
Meg O'Neill:Would you say that's one of the biggest pieces that arises for you on plant medicine journeys, the unworthiness piece.
Jacob O'Neill:Yeah. Yeah. The the unworthiness. And also, I think that's coupled with, I don't want, I'm scared of the responsibility. I'm scared to fuck it up. So I don't feel worthy number one, number two, if I fuck it up, people won't love me. So therefore, I won't feel good enough, then I'll go back into the unworthiness. So it's like a, it's this. It's this paradox, I always find myself at a paradox of like, well, you can stay where you are. And you can manage this. You can be in control of your unworthiness, or you can believe you're worthy. And then let life reflect back all of the areas where you don't believe that and meet them, and break through them. So regardless of what you do, you're going to be at the mercy of some form of some form of initiation, just depends on whether or not you want to, like go deeper, or whether you want to just stay at the surface. And what
Meg O'Neill:would you say the medicine like in those moments? Because I feel like when you talk about the unworthiness, I feel like plant medicine often illuminates the shadow. And I think plant medicine also shows us the truth of like, the interconnectedness of life and the the shimmy that one of the biggest learnings from medicine, all the embodied experiences I have is like, I am God, I am God is like I'm not separate from anything else. And that that true, we can know that you can read a fucking book, and know that from the shoulders up, but to have a visceral embodied experience of that is a completely different thing. But I'm wondering what like so that shadow that gets illuminated of like, I'm not worthy, or I'm scared of that responsibility of fucking it up, what would you say then the medicine shows you does the medicine like then take you into, like the truth or illuminate so
Jacob O'Neill:it shows me all the times where I've judged myself or not loved myself in moments of, in moments of where I've essentially not, were essentially falling short of what I believed I needed to do. So where I haven't done what I said I was going to do, or I haven't achieved what I thought I wouldn't have judged myself or I've been really harsh on myself, rather than offering myself kind of compassion. And it's showing me all the time to Hey, like, all these other people who you think have all these other people and things that you think are affecting you is actually you judging and being really harsh on yourself and telling yourself that you're stupid that you fucking you've got nothing. Why the fuck did you do that was this and all it's all of those, all of that self talk all of that. Almost like collapsing in on myself with all of this. negativity and yeah, just this, which the negativity comes from an inability to feel the the actual grief of my humaneness that I'm not fucking perfect that I'm not in control. And, and when I go into that, it's just like, it's just like tearing back layers of fucking. I liken it to being like, just covered in fucking, like dirt caked up mud. And I'm literally just like, trying to, and part of that is almost like, I'm trying to rip it off before I actually like, wet it unless I need to learn how to like, breathe it through my body and like slowly, like let it dissolve rather than trying to like just like, just rip it off.
Unknown:That's such a beautiful like visual.
Jacob O'Neill:And I imagined, like, the way that I see you know, that I see myself working with the medicine in those moments is like, yeah, my heart's caked in this, like, these layers of, of unfelt emotions. And if I liken it to being like mud, it's like, can I actually let myself feel normally grief, which will be tears or Watering Can the water reg rundown and actually soften the walls and actually let them just like a slide off, rather than me trying to like bang on my heart and rip these things off and trying to force my way into my own self love?
Meg O'Neill:Yeah, I think that's such a beautiful point. Because I think so often in the embodiment space, or plant medicine space, that can be this like, real celebration around like, cathartic experiences and experiences where there's like, yelling and screaming, and it's loud. And it's, and I believe in that I'm here for full expression. I've had a lot of powerful experiences in my own body, when with, you know, a cathodic style, you know, expression or embodiment, and then I've witnessed that and guided a lot of women through that. But I think there's a difference between that there's such medicine, in knowing that it doesn't, that's not the only way to get to the place of love. And in fact, can we be gentle with ourselves? It doesn't always have to be this Yeah, like, let's get to the shadow and Let's scream our way through and let's like force our way into, you know, remembering it can be gentle and subtle. And yeah. I also think sometimes people can get stuck in the plant medicine space, because they're like, hooked on that. They're hooked on that like, massively big like boom like that. where I believe the work like we were really deep in the plant medicine space for probably three or four years and doing many, many ceremonies in a year and traveling to Peru with that teacher and you still I love your Yeah, but I haven't you know, we, I like to do my own journeys at home with the mushrooms. But yeah, I feel like there's not an expiry date necessarily on that on that world. But I believe that there is a many people the journey should be then to move more into the subtleties of life as a practice. And this is a reliance on Sorry, I was just saying without a reliance on like, and you say this beautifully, it's like, you can't stay on the fucking mountain, you've got to go down the mountain into the marketplace into the marketplace. And it's like, if you had just feel like going plant medicine off to plant medicine ceremony, but then you still, you know, there's no shifts in your life or you're still having these like shitty relationships, you're not actually bringing any of that down into your day to day life. If, if the medicine isn't improving your relationship with your family, the people around you your work any of it or taking you into a different path or more enlivened path, like
Unknown:I would say,
Meg O'Neill:sums up and not necessarily that it should immediately do that. But yeah, I feel like what I'm saying,
Jacob O'Neill:Yeah, Get off the fucking roller coaster. Yeah, that's it like this, this is a matter of the the fact of the matter is, people go there and fucking escape. Yeah, and then they hide up on the mountaintop, and they fucking wear their white linen pants, and they fucking play their flutes, and then they never come back down and fucking chop wood and carry water, they don't come down and have the conversation they need to have with the mother, they don't come down and like speak about the responsibilities that their father had, and how you know, one day they're gonna have to step into being responsible for family and there's all these fucking, floaty, uncommitted people, especially men fucking annoying me who do this, and float around in these fucking transient communities. They don't actually. And they talk about this new earth. But the truth is that change comes from within. So for you to change the system, or to change society, or to shift cultural values, you need to be within it, you need to change it from within, you can't sit on the sidelines, and try to create his whole New Earth and your little fucking community. That's not how it works if you want to, if you want to be a true medicine carrier, and this isn't about serving medicine, like this is my true belief. You carry the medicine in your heart in your body, you come down and you you speak on behalf of the wisdom of the medicine that you you've received. And, you know, for me, that's called becoming the medicine. Like, I don't need to take my parents to go and do ayahuasca, I can come down and I can open my heart and speak vulnerably because I've had my experience with the grandmother, I can hold my I can straighten my spine because I've sat with what tumor the cactus and like stand in my power and speak on behalf of what I truly believe. I don't need to tell people to go and do that and have their own experience. And no, I don't need to force them into the path that I've walked. And this is the this is the truth of the of any initiatory path is that that your initiation is your initiation. Part of the initiation is integration. And if you don't integrate it into your life where you can sit down at the table and have dinner with the people that raised you or go back and show compassion to people that aren't yet where you're you're at in the area that you've exposed yourself to. Then you've got some fucking work to do. Oh, and I see this you know, I see this with people who go and do breath work non stop and they doing the big cathodic Holotropic breathwork and don't get me wrong I fucking adore breath work. It's been you know, it's been one of the things that I've led many, many fucking I've led hundreds of men through breath work. I've done a lot of breath work myself. And some of the most some of the most deepest journeys that I've led men through actually the most softest. So we've done the big cathodic staff Bumblebee and then I'll hit them with this soft gentle almost like this. bathe them in their own their own fucking their own breath and they've like just cracks US Open. It's like ah, this is actually teaching me to breathe every single day like life is breath work. It's not some fucking 30 rounds of no three rounds a 30 year you know high intensity breathwork is life. You breathe every single fucking second. So, for me, the work that you do on the mountain is only as good as the way that you integrate it back into your life.
Unknown:Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. That wasn't
Jacob O'Neill:the intention of this. This This podcast was a bit of a rant but it's
Meg O'Neill:I feel like it's I feel like this is it. This is really fucking powerful. I feel really. Yeah, this feels right talking about this right now.
Jacob O'Neill:And one more thing with like, one of the things that like you said, like the you know, you work with the medicine like that's a very much, you know, I, I forget, and I've probably forgotten the last couple of months I've been like really in my head and really focused on how I can create all these things that I need for the future. But one thing that I've been reminded by many of my teachers is like, can you walk with the medicine? Can you walk with all the ancestors, all the guides all of the the beings that are in your corner wanting you to do the work that you're here doing? How often do you, you know, say hello to them? How often do you stop and ask for support from something that you don't fully understand. Because if you keep consulting another book or another human, you're trying to access the divine through all these different ways. When in actual fact, you've got all that you need here, all you have to do is open yourself to something beyond what your mind can comprehend. And one of my teachers, he's so funny, he's like, we get to a mountain. He's like, okay, noble silence from now. But first, we actually introduce ourselves to the mountain. Hello, mountain. How are you today? We're coming to do some ceremony on your on you today. Thank you for allowing us to be here. Oh, and then we walk up the mountain, it's like, it's that fucking simple. It can be that simple. And it's all about having a relationship with something greater than yourself. And trusting that and then bringing that back into your life where, you know, when you're washing the dishes, it can be a spiritual practice, when you're, you know, and this is, you know, a specific that in his book is about like stripping the copper with my dad, or whether it's a conversation with my mom on the phone. And it's like, oh, you know, like my birthday, my mom rang me last night, and I. And she's so excited about she fucking loves birthdays. And I think part of me, like, I still have a, I think there's a part of me that doesn't fully trust the feminine. I think that would be the truth for me. Like, I'm just I was sitting with that last night, after we tried to record a podcast. And I think there's a part of me doesn't fully trust the feminine, and I'm scared of it. And that's okay. But I realized on the phone last night, my mom was talking to me, I was like, instead of just like, yeah, thanks for the presence, I was like, hey, I really appreciate all the effort that you put in. Like, it made me quite emotional, like actually thanking her for something that she loves to do. I was like, I don't have to push her away. And my tendency when I'm receiving is to push people away, or to downplay my magnificence, or try to pretend like it's not, I don't need anything, when in actual fact, I, I love receiving and it's a big part of my life that I feel I am going to work on this year. And once again, bring a level of grace to it. But yeah, remember, like mom called me to see how my day was. And I was like, thank you so much. And I really appreciate all the effort that you put in, you know, to the presence and thank you so much for giving me exactly what I wanted. And thank you for always making an effort around these times. He like always you you always You're always the one that you know believes in the in the in the special in how special these moments are these, these are her ceremonies, you know, these are, and this is this made me a bit emotional. But like for Mother, I think that a child's birthday is a ceremony because it reminds them of the initiation that they went through to bring you into this world.
Meg O'Neill:And your mom had quite an initiation. Yeah. And
Jacob O'Neill:like I wasn't meant Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah, I think I'm terrified right now. Of like, yeah, what becoming a parent means Hey, I see how much my mom loves me and how much like how much I'm terrified of what that what that's gonna do to me. I'm terrified of how codependent and attached and overbearing I'm gonna be covering how I'm scared that I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to fucking function because I'm so in love with something that I can't fucking function. And that terrifies me. Yeah, and I'm Yeah, I think yeah, I'm scared and there's been so much I've judged my mum for so long around certain things and my biggest you know, I've had a huge journey with coming back to love. After like, yeah, detaching from my mom and feeling angry and hating her and being filled with rage to coming back to a place of love and understanding her a lot more and I think like becoming apparent is going to really show me the parts of her that are within me. And yeah, that terrified that terrifies me because, you know, she's, yeah, she is a fierce woman. And she loves fiercely and she, like you said with the spectrum. She's got to she's got a fiery. She can spit poison. But um, yeah, it was really beautiful last night to just yeah, just and I think I've done this really well with my dad over the last year. Are to like really honoring him for the role that he's played and really deepening my connection with him. And yeah, I think last night just say, Hey, I appreciate the effort that you put in and thank you for holding it down at this, you know, not once have I ever felt. And I think to like, not once have I ever felt like, like, I've always my birthdays like there's never been one where I haven't got got a present. I've never, you know, and maybe I feel guilty for that because I see other I've I've had friends who weren't as well off, you know, we weren't rich or anything but I remember feeling terrible when Christmas because I got this bike and one of my friends you know, got a got this really shitty toy. And I was like riding around this brand new bike and I remember feeling fucking horrible. About You know, I was like fuck well. And like in my head, it's and I don't know whether this is probably what makes me really good at what I am. But also may makes me probably a bit of a motto that yeah, I was like buckle. I want you to have what I've got, I want I want you to feel it, I want you to feel the love that I'm receiving from it. And I felt bad for receiving at the level that I did. And you know, every year I you know, I got to my mom baked a cake. There'll be presents for me. When I woke up they'd be you know, however old I was to be that many balloons on the fucking table. You know, it was it was a ceremony for her and she would set the set the scene and make it make it sacred. And everything's just all of a sudden making sense right now around why birthdays mean a lot to her and why they are a celebration of creation, or creation. Yeah, I feel so much better right now.
Meg O'Neill:Yeah, we were never meant to record the night off last night.
Jacob O'Neill:And yeah, I think that's I think that's simple. Yeah, I think I'm just having a real deep understanding of you had the other I've really felt stuck struggling last couple of weeks with like, what's, what's what's not moving here, and it's been locked up in my chest and the I just feel a whole lot better around that. And yeah, I'm just realizing, Oh, yeah. When I receive on my birthday, I get terrified that other people aren't receiving as much as I am. And then I'm like, Well, you deserve just as much as me. You deserve. I want everyone to have I want and I want it all to be equal. I want it you know, don't want to get too much. And then have someone else feel like go home and feel like oh, I don't have as much. Which is ironic, because I'd never ever feel that way when someone else is getting in present. I feel like I should be getting that. So um, yeah. Birthdays are big for me. They are. I don't know where I was going with that. But thank you for allowing it.
Meg O'Neill:We went from plant medicine to that. I loved that.
Unknown:Thanks so much. That was really beautiful to witness. Yeah. And thanks, everyone listening for being thanks for being here. Being here. The process
Meg O'Neill:can I circle back to what we were what it's, it's the conversation you were just having as well but expanding on like, bringing the energy down from the mountain. And I think so often and this was my path is that when we get into whatever the fuck you want to call it, personal development, plant medicines, spirituality, whatever kind of space, we can suddenly make everyone outside of that space wrong, like suddenly see life as like this hierarchy. Like you don't know yet you haven't, you haven't stepped into this world yet, you're lesser than you don't get it. And you can start to make them wrong. And then we can also really begin to conditionally put a lot of conditions on the relationships we have in the love that we're giving. And again, I did this definitely it was like, I'm, I want you to change and be more like me, I want you to be more spiritual, I want you to eat different food. I want you to do all these things. And then I can love you. I used to do this with my mom so deeply as well, my mom specifically. But I think I also just used to look through that lens of life. It's like, Oh, you haven't done the plant medicine ceremony. You haven't done this. You still don't eat organically. And my relationship with my mom was challenging during that time. I remember, just like you share and I know from your experience of your mom to like, my mom would call me and I would see her name put come up on my phone and I would literally get like repulsed. I'd be like oh, like, I don't want to fucking talk to her and I used to get really triggered by now I see the parts of her that also in me but I used to just like think she was all consuming and asked him any like questions and was too like strict like just all these things. And yeah, there was like this repulsion that would come up in me. And I in my head. I probably wasn't conscious about it at the time. But I have this story that I needed her to change and be less of who she was and less of all of these things. And then I could love her and have a good relationship with her. And I remember around this time, so this is probably like five years ago now maybe even longer, or at least five years ago and before that, that you would sometimes tell me that I was like my mum. And it would feel like the biggest
Unknown:what, what am I looking for? Trigger
Meg O'Neill:trigger, but also like, what's opposite of a compliment? or insult? Yeah, it felt like the biggest insult ever. Yeah, felt like the biggest insult for you to call me like my mom, especially the things that I was super triggered by her and, and a huge part of my journey with this was actually beginning to and this is my whole journey of full spectrum moment, like actually, to stop denying the parts of myself that I was seeing and her. And when I began to own the part of me that that was a crazy motherfucking bitch. When I started to own the part of me that was like, controlling when I started to own the part of me that just like I needed to know what was just like, super intense. Right? When I started to own all those parts of myself and be compassionate and loving to those parts of myself. Suddenly, my whole entire fucking relationship with my mom shifted. And I could this make me emotional. I like No longer would she call like, I feel repulsed. I was like, excited, like the love that I like, liberated from my mother. And she didn't fucking change. She didn't change at all. She didn't change. It's still crazy as fuck. But my perception of her changed. And I liberated her from the conditions that I was putting on her. And I just freed the love that I had. And that was like, fucking everything. That was fucking everything.
Jacob O'Neill:Makes me think of Steven straight. Yeah, I
Meg O'Neill:was thinking that to the really healing time in. Gosh,
Unknown:this is one of the we do one of these podcasts,
Meg O'Neill:like, at least once every few months where we don't talk about anal. We don't talk about sex. We just have a good cry.
Jacob O'Neill:Thank you for being our group therapy.
Unknown:I'm sure there's some people here that like, Don't five these ones and other people that are like, this is my fucking favorite. Yeah.
Meg O'Neill:But there was a time. It's probably five years ago. Geez. Yeah. See, it may be coming up to six because I think it was 2018. Yeah, 2019.
Jacob O'Neill:I can't remember. It would have been 2018. Because then 2019 was the next year, I think. As it goes, and I'm just thinking about when we move back to the Gold Coast. Yeah.
Meg O'Neill:Okay. So it was either Yeah, it was probably about five or six years ago. And Jacob and I had moved from the Gold Coast, we'd packed up all the things we'd actually we hadn't packed up a lot of things, we'd sold a lot of stuff. We would financially not very well off. We moved to Bali for a few months. And our plan was to travel and then we had no money so we came home and we lived with my parents for four months. And I had so much shame around that just where we were at financially and or at the time we're in we were working on my network marketing business, which we soon after finished but there was a lot of shame for you in that and like where you're at in your life and work and all the things and yeah, just felt like a fucking failure. Like there was a lot of shame around failing and yeah, feeling like we weren't where we wanted to be. You will probably like clue. What would you have been? Like? Probably 30 Yeah,
Jacob O'Neill:I was not at all where I wanted to be. Yeah. And then living with my parents, my my girlfriend's parents. In Brisbane, no fucking job, no money coming in, trying to get some get my business off the ground. I'm pretty sure I had depression or some form of like, I was definitely down in the dumps. Yeah. But that's not why we were there. I don't believe we were there to make, you know, to we went there to get the you know, to be highly successful there to like, almost like, heal. Yeah. So
Meg O'Neill:what went down in that time? My, my little sister moved home as well. Yeah. And so it was my little sister Jacob and I and my mom and dad in this house. And my mind I had also just sold our family home. Yeah, they lived in for my entire life. And so they just sold that we were living in this rental and they were there other places was being built. Yeah. And so there was so much moving for them. And I had that was I looked back at that and I'm like, Thank fuck, because that time really transformed my relationship with my mom and my dad. But yeah, there was what I want to say On that there was conversations that were had that had never been spoken before. Particularly with my mom, she shared things that she'd never shared with anyone before. And it was like we needed to be in that space for the healing of us, but also the healing of my mother and the healing of our family. Yeah.
Jacob O'Neill:Like it was, it wasn't a big house. So we're all like on top of each other, like, you couldn't not deepen. We couldn't not deepen into conversations. And I believe like, some we definitely
Meg O'Neill:could have. But that, like, that's what that was. I think that was our deepest practice of, can you bring the motherfucking medicine down from the mountain into the marketplace? How are you when you're living when you're going through a really fucking rough patch, and you're living in your mom and dad's house with your boyfriend and your says, like, things aren't going to plan when people are probably looking at you like you failed? Like, who the fuck are you in those moments? How are you loving people? How you showing up each day? Like, that was such that was life going? This is the fucking medicine journey? Yes, don't go fucking drink another cup of ayahuasca, sit here and be with this. And I'm so fucking proud of that medicine journey. And for
Jacob O'Neill:what I would say is like, sometimes we can just go and see our parents once a month and sit down and have dinner and the conversation can only really go as far as in an hour, we'll let you Yeah, or you know, there's there's different things going on or the foot is on TV or, you know, there's something else to talk about, or something new that's happening in the family. In the wider family that you talk about, you don't actually get that ongoing, like you say like, like I say, with the medicine, like it doesn't go anywhere. When you're in ceremony, it stays with you all the way until you meet your point of liberation. And same with that we were in a house for four months, we couldn't go anywhere. We didn't have money to travel, we could not put enough fuel in the car to maybe get to fucking Gold Coast for a day. But we didn't have money to leave, we had to sit and be with what was there for ourselves. And in that we then got to create a deeper relationship with your parents and like that, that really solidified my relationship with them deeply. And like it's what gave me the the understanding and the deep respect that I have for both your parents. And like, yeah, my family is very fucking different. And we both have beautiful aspects. But um, yeah, I used to be really triggered by the how organized your family was. And then when I got to actually like experience the just how what that organizer organization afforded your your family and seeing how well you guys could go on holidays, how greatly everything like it was like a well oiled machine, I got to be like, Fuck this. There's value in this in the way that these guys do it. And I'm really, you know, the fact that your dad's held it down and he's been able to provide for fucking three daughters in a way that I'd never seen anyone do. I was like, Fuck, this is cool. Like I've got I'm learning to respect your father, but also like, learn like I'm learning to respect him for what he's done. But I'm also taking on things like wow, like that's valuable. It's a valuable skill. I want to cultivate that in myself.
Meg O'Neill:Sorry, I was looking my friend is then I just wanted to read what my mom, I've put out that question box. Right what they loved about y'all. My mom wrote it on Instagram she wrote. So I had the question box that said, What do you love about Jacob like, help me celebrate him and my mom, right? My mom doesn't even really know how to use Instagram. So I love that she did this she write the support he shows for family and close friends always there for the humans he loves and loves that she said humans too, because we use that word humans. But no, I really agree with you in that around that solidifying of the relationship with my parents and I feel that is and I'm assuming I'm not gonna assume this but I'm sure there's people listening to this and maybe you're one of them listening that you do desire, like family is important to you. deepening your relationships with your family is important to you, your mother, your father, your sisters, your brothers, your whatever it is, but you want to deepen and if that is you my invitation to you would be let go of who you think they need to be for you to have the relationship with them. Obviously, this is nuanced if they are abusive, it isn't safe to be around them all of those things you know, boundaries are so welcome and important. But you know, we're talking about this from a place of like, what what are you what cages are you holding in them that's actually preventing you from just experiencing the depth and love that you truly desire? And the relationship we have with our families like you with my family, me with my family, you with your family? Me I'm so proud of the relationships I have with it's gonna make me emotional again. Like I'm so proud of the relationship I have with like your dad and like your mom and like your sisters and yeah, even like a brother in law and like yeah, it just yeah, I'm so beyond what we fuckin even created here in the podcast in our business. is no matter how much money I make, that will always be what I am most proud of my relationship with you and family. And I think if we again, circle it back, it's like, that's the work like your work, go have the plant medicine journeys, go
Unknown:to the psychedelics, if you feel the call that
Meg O'Neill:then bring that back to life like, you become the transmission. And can you offer yourself as the transmission to your family, instead of taking a different path, which many of you are doing if you're listening to this, you're most likely like, a some people would call it the rainbow sheep of your family, you're probably the weirdo, you're probably the one at Christmas that people what is he or she doing now? Like what are they? They don't really understand you? Like, if that's you? Can you actually not create deeper separation of like, I'm different? I'm not like them? You know, I'm breaking the chains and which is powerful you are? But also can you bring? Can you actually be the medicine for your family and not from this egoic kind of like, I'm different from you. And I'm better and I'm healing us all. But just from this, like, can you share your appreciation with your mom, when she celebrates you on your birthday? Can you sit and look your dad in the eyes and tell him you love him like? And can you lean into the discomfort of changing your related relationships. Like for me, this was huge. And I actually remember the very moment that this happened. It was probably three years ago now. And I was really I'd really deepened with my mom and I wanted to deepen with my dad. And that's still a relationship. I have a great relationship with my dad, but it's still one that I'm like, hey, I want to call him more. And I want to just like, connected more deeply. Like that's yeah.
Unknown:And I remember just like feeling this yearning or a few years ago of like, oh, I want to feel really seen by him. And I don't feel seen by him and like, in the way that you know, like, I don't think he gets what I do when I don't think he's like, yeah, and
Meg O'Neill:then I realize like, oh, like, can I be the one to lean into that? Can I actually like excitedly instead of waiting for him to be the one that goes, I'm proud of you? Can I actually be vulnerable first? Can I actually be vulnerable, and, you know, share, and then let be the doorway for his vulnerability too. And it was so fucking beautiful. being so nervous to share my excitement around something. And yeah, it was so beautiful. And even a conversation that I had to have with my dad earlier. Maybe this time last year, which I felt like throwing up having to have a particular conversation with my dad asking for something. And I thought he was going to like, berate me, and treat me like a naughty little girl. And it was the most healing thing for me. Like, he just, like, was so proud of me. And like,
Unknown:yeah, just spoke to me all the things that you'd like, I think my inner child, like as a kid wanted to hear and didn't and he like, I got that as an adult. And I didn't go into that conversation knowing that that was going to happen.
Meg O'Neill:But it didn't it was so beautiful. And again, it's like if you desire deepening with anyone, but let's specifically talk family, it's so easy to be like, they're my parents, they should do this first. They should be vulnerable first. They they wouldn't be able to handle my vulnerability. They wouldn't be it they wouldn't get it. We'll just fucking try it. Like can you? If it makes you giddy and feel like you're gonna throw up do it like that sack actually, that's your leadership. That's how you heal your family. That's how you bring the medicine off the mountain. You lean into those really like scary Oh my god, am I going to be rejected? What are they gonna think of me? Like can I tell this man I love him when we don't really say that. Like you've done that with your dad.
Unknown:Turn talk about that. But you're saying wailing
Jacob O'Neill:how are we going for time?
Meg O'Neill:49 minutes. Go. Hold it will actually by the time this podcast would have come out we would have
Jacob O'Neill:we will go to the place. Where
Meg O'Neill:Yeah, it's 10 plus one right now timing wise. Awesome. Awesome.
Jacob O'Neill:Thank you for sharing all that. My love. That was beautiful. Thank you. I think this is this. Whilst we're also going through a deep healing process in sharing about our relationships with our family. I think this is a real good in like indicator for what's possible when you do bring the medicine down off the mountain or when you do go into your breathwork journey or you start going to sound healing So you're doing all this new stuff like that is there to prepare you for the actual initiation, which is to open your heart and expose yourself to those that you actually want to have a deeper relationship with. Yeah. And yeah, that's been my, you know, I think back to like, I went to shout out, I'm actually yeah, we're gonna be chatting to blaze. He's gonna be one of the guests. He's a, he was one of my first men's coaches. And he's someone that I look up to. And I deeply respect, I went along to his men's retreat on the sunny coast or three days one, and I remember like going through the most painful initiation around my anger towards my mother. And that wasn't even the initiation that was me clearing out my vessel. So I could go into the conversation with my mom without blaming her and opening my heart to her. Yeah. And I remember coming home, and a couple of weeks later, I said, I'm ready to have a call with you. And I called her and I just opened my heart and just shared that, like, all of my deep grief, and pain and sorrow and everything that was moving through me from from just such a beautiful place. And it was so cathartic, and so deeply healing. I'm like, oh, that, that retreat prepared me for the initiation, like the initiation was the preparation for the real life thing. And
Meg O'Neill:yeah, and you can't just want to jump in here. You can't bypass what life is asking of you in a plant medicine ceremony. Yes, plant medicine might prepare you, there's some things that can be felt and liberated in a plant medicine ceremony that might not necessarily have to be in life. But if there's a motherfucking conversation you need to have with your father, with your mother, with your partner with your, you know, boss, with with yourself or like, if there is action, if there is a conversation that life is deeply inviting you into. You cannot no matter how many cups of iOS Do you have? Life is gonna continue to ask you to have that conversation. You can't bypass that correct.
Jacob O'Neill:Oh. And that was like that, for me was like the first real experience of like, a one one on ones that I was conscious of like, oh, wow, this is me doing the work and then applying the work to real life. Yeah. So, you know, so many people like Well was it was it called work because bucket and Todd, you do the work, and then you apply it to your real life. You know, and this is where one of my teachers he calls, he goes, you know, like ceremony there, life is ceremony. And ceremony is life. This is just a little reminder. When we come out of a deep, deep not working with it with the medicines, it's like, Ah, this is just a little reminder of what's possible. When I bring when I see life, a ceremony when I apply this, this work to real life situations. And yeah, like that's afforded me, you know, and one of the things that a lot of men got to witness it at the gathering of man was like, my father being there, and me getting to, like, be seen by him, you know, and it's like, that was huge. That was massive. And that's been years in the making, that has been years in the making. And I think a lot of people will know, a lot of people got to look at the back end of my business and see how you know, what the, what the numbers look like, it probably wouldn't look like the most successful business. Well, I know it wouldn't. And that's not to say that I'm not doing well, because I am, but it's, you know, I definitely could have capitalized more financially, but I'm not going to bypass or chase $1 When what I truly deeply desire is these healing, healing moments that allow me to have the the experiences that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
Meg O'Neill:And I think that's where this is something that is important to us. And there's been moments I think probably more for me than you where I've like chased money in my business and had that is been really connected or reliant on that metric of success. Yeah, but probably in the last year. I think for both of us, like yes, we want we we we do financially thriving businesses, but we want to scale and expand into that. But that is not the only metric of success for us it is I would never sacrifice any part of our relationship to expand and succeed No, and growing our relationships with our you know, our community the people in our you know, inner circle, you know, family like that, that is so important to us. And that's that's such an important metric of of the work I feel.
Jacob O'Neill:And this might seem a little silly, but like there's been so many moments in the past I'd say year and a half with family that I've just looked at looked at you playing with your your sisters like your nephew, our nephews on the beach just over Christmas, and I watched you and I was just like, This is enough. Yeah, this is like this is a moment like I'm fucking Gods here right now. I can feel the divine feel great to feel like oh, We FOC we're here. Yeah, we're doing it. There's been times, you know, when we went down and we're, it's show away with my family for that weekend will dancing. I was like, oh my
Meg O'Neill:god dancing on the country turned off. You know, God's
Jacob O'Neill:here, the gods arrived, this is fucking This is ceremony. This is a moment of like, pure joy. And there's been more of those moments that I can count the last 18 months with friends with family, and the people that will Yeah, in general, the people that we love, and that's because we've been able to apply the work to real life. And that's been beautiful. You know, we had out you know, we had our wedding and that was such a beautiful, you know, I just got off the phone to my my, one of my best mates, Jay Rozier. Shout out to Jay and we were just roomies out man. That wedding he's like, that was one of the best weekend's of my life, you know, and my
Meg O'Neill:mom was always telling me, she caught up with all her friends the other day, and one of the women was a friend of a friend. So she wasn't at the wedding. And all mom's friends were like, best wedding we've ever been to, nothing will ever talk. That, like we had the most phenomenal time. But the fact that that was a transformational experience for so many humans that we loved as well. And I think this is, this is our medicine. And this is something that we have done very fucking well for years. And what we've been devoted to is, and it's why we have such deep relationships with the humans around us now, despite, you know, years of feeling disconnected and feeling not seen and all of these things is that we're unapologetically devoted to being ourselves and we don't change ourselves. When we come into our family. We don't dilute you know, we're not going and probably talking about all our opinions all the time. Because I think that's another thing too. It is say that you had a particular opinion about the vaccine, like you don't, some people would then want to go down on their family to be like, You should do this or you. Or maybe it's eating organic food and like shaming their family for eating organic food or still putting perfume on it. It's like, I don't do I let go. I will never ever, ever, ever tell anyone in my family. What the fuck to do. Sometimes I jokingly do it with your dad around sugar. I think I did it a few times at home. But it's hilarious that because your dad didn't give a filelinked do that to him because he doesn't want give a fuck. More banter. Yeah, so I think that's another thing. We don't make someone feel not enough for their current lifestyle. We make people feel safe, because it's not like, oh, just because I don't eat gluten or just because I don't drink a lot alcohol. It's still safe to be around me. And we're going to shame you because you have a few drinks. I'm not going to shame you for X, Y and Zed. Yeah, and yeah, I think that's a huge part of of we even a wedding like people we had such a we everyone was in a circle for our wedding. And we had a dispatch you want to fire in the center and like all of these things that peep and we had people rubbing their hands together and praying over us and majority of the people apart from our friends, majority of the people and winning like, you know our family and that nobody was they didn't know. But there's so many came up afterwards being like, that was so powerful and I loved the hands thing. I love doing that. Oh my gosh, that was I've never felt so much love. Even moms for my Lesley Ann Alexa talking about he'd never felt so much love in his life. This is like a 65 year old man who spent his working life as like a tradesman.
Jacob O'Neill:So fucking magical, you hit the nail on the head. And I think this is kind of the summation is I think he got it and now that using a word that I've never used before, take risks people, the summation of what we're speaking about is be yourself around those that you you want a deeper connection with but don't project your beliefs or your opinions onto them. In doing so, be yourself but don't project how you think other people should be just so they're more like you. Yeah, and this you know, I was down with my grant I went dropped you off to our friend Christmas for her but her birthday was earlier this week or over the weekend. And I went and and crashed down with my granny and pappy and I got there and when I get there, I just say listen, all of my rules that I have at home no longer exist. There's no rules. So we
Meg O'Neill:like fully organic here. Yeah, I'm like very complete obviously. I
Jacob O'Neill:prioritize organic whole foods when I'm in in my home. And when I'm mostly out and about when I go to my grandparents I just take the throw I throw away the rulebook and I just say listen, receive whatever is in his house, whatever you're offered, like just receive it don't you don't need to like let them love you. I think this is this my whole fucking my whole fuckin theme right now is like well Let let let people love me. That should
Meg O'Neill:be the blood sorry to interrupt you but that should be your blueprint for receivership. Let people love you like your grant and giving you food. I'm just gonna pretend that it's a Yeah, like more eat the rest of it. See the rest of this? Okay, okay,
Jacob O'Neill:I went over and she pulls out this fucking Teflon pan. And she's like, this is a good pair feel her and she's like, she's huge. And I'm like, Oh, this to her is good. Like, okay, like if I believe in intention and belief you know, if I'm truly like a spiritual being then like, this is good. According to her then I must trust. Like, can you trust that this is good, okay. But to fuck the science you're in your grandparents house she wants to give to you let her love you. And boom, brings out the camp. She canola spray canola oil, and I'm just like, alright, we're doing canola oil. It's good in a candy, isn't it? Yeah, it's good. Gren wax a steak, you know, wrapped in Falcon plastic. And I'm just like, boiling into just like you went once with this one. Some that might just give it to me, Graham, what do you got? And all of the brand she pulls out nothing I would ever buy. Yeah, but she fed me. I had a couple of beers. I had a couple of drumsticks after for dessert a couple a couple. Because I had one and she said go back and I'm gonna have you on. Fuck it. And then quarter to 12 She's like, you want to get a cup of tea. And we're watching the tennis and I never watched the tennis. But I'm sitting there in fucking tears of laughter with my granny just commentating on this tennis match, that she doesn't even know how to say Rafael Nadal is named properly. And she's trying to say it and she's I don't know how she wouldn't wear that shirt. I don't like that color. This is one of the greatest tennis players. These guys are like, elite athletes and she's worried about the color of his shirt. And we're laughing and having conversations and then, you know, go and put the jacket on. She's like, I think I'm gonna have a coffee. I was like, rocking. Yes, I'm in I'm in right now. I'm like, I'm having a coffee with your pocket. So we have black coffee and fruitcake at midnight. But what what I what I want people to understand so when you fully give yourself to an experience and you take off all the rules and they are kind of canals pray God, there's, you know, she's got fucking, she gave me some focus, handset and hand sanitizer in my car that she'd put in there. She's like, I'll give you some of these. I've got like a whole pack of these hands. But what that afforded me when we sat down, we started drinking black coffee and eating fruitcake at midnight, we started talking about Christmas and how she was really happy with how everything went for her. She's like, Oh, I felt really connected to your family and had a really good time with your mom had a really good time with your dad and was just so good to you know, and she's like, I really I was really, really happy. They got to connect with everyone. And she got to share and we spoke a little bit about life and Buddha, I have gotten to that point if I hadn't have let go. Of all the rules. Yeah.
Meg O'Neill:Would she fail your own stake in your oil in your own things? Would she have
Jacob O'Neill:felt as open to connecting with me if I had brought all of my conditions and rules into her place? Yes. Could I have just trusted her container because I did bring the thing. I took her down because I know she loves sourdough. So I took it down a loaf of sourdough and I took a couple of results as well. And you know, and I left them there and she you know, we had toast the next morning she said I love this sourdough and I'm like yeah, you know, I got to bring bring an offering. But I didn't come in and sabotage her her sanctuary. You know, this is her place I'm coming in and receiving from her. So could that conversation at midnight, having a black coffee and fruitcake happened if I had have come in and enforced my rule and my will upon a space that didn't need it. And this is this is part of letting go that I believe is important with family and allows you to have these deep moments that you'll carry with you and you know, your your grandparents are going to be here forever. You know, your parents aren't going to be here for fucking ever. Yeah. So can you actually let go and exist in it? Knowing that when you go home you can have your fucking organic grass fed butter. Yeah, you can have your fucking steak. coffee
Meg O'Neill:enema. Yeah, get a colonic, jump in the sauna. Just detox that guy. Yeah.
Jacob O'Neill:And I think that's uh, you know, this is very much about swings and roundabouts and just learning to, to move with life rather than force yourself on it.
Meg O'Neill:And I think also some, like for many of the women I work with, there is a people pleasing aspect as well. So actually, potentially, your invitation is to actually stand up for what you believe in and to actually own that. Oh, I'm always saying yes to things that aren't actually my truth. So maybe that's actually your edge in and around family but we're we're really just speaking to that, like big pendulum swing. It'll change your life and then suddenly, like you said, you're projecting that and, and looking at every family member through that lens and trying to make them change, and I suddenly know the WAY and the TRUTH and you need to know it. Like, no one fucking likes that. No one ever fucking changed. Notice that I don't think anyone ever fucking changed a family member through coercion. No, maybe they did. But like not they didn't deepen their relationship for the better. Yeah, if you want deep relationships and the thing was, let's just finish with this. That time we spent at Stephen Street when we lived in my parents that ended with my mom coming to a weekend medicine journey with us. And if you would have told me that even a month before she decided to come, I would have said no way in Fucking hell. No way is my mom ever going to choose that? My mom has never like she's never I've always been open that we've done that but she's never like shown an interest she's never really got it. She's just kind of been like, Okay, you go to Peru and drink something and no, okay. That she came and did a weekend medicine journey. Had one of the most transformational experiences will be most transformational experiences of her life, told her a total of six year old friends and then they all wanted to come. And like that wasn't through me going and being like, you all need to do plant medicine. That was just me being the fucking medicine me being the transmission. Um, heard someone talking about mushrooms on a radio station and then she goes on to sound like what you do and tell me more and there was an she had she felt safe to lean in and she got to choose it. So don't try and coerce or project or force anyone to believe what you believe. Like that. That just doesn't feel good to be on the receiving receiving end just be fucking you. Be fucking you
Jacob O'Neill:bring the medicine down off the mountain and become it. Yeah. And offer your offer yourself vulnerably to those that you love and allow that to be enough.
Unknown:Okay, we gotta roll. All righty. This has been
Jacob O'Neill:like probably I say this every time we had one of these podcasts but this is this is not at all what we were going to talk about. I wanted to talk about my birthday and what we recap of 2023 but this has been the most perfect podcast and I'm so grateful
Meg O'Neill:probably been one of my favorite podcasts ever like the Yeah, I love you feel really feel really connected to your getting gooey and just like my heart so open and just I feel so yeah, so present and blissful and relaxed, and I adore you. It
Jacob O'Neill:gets to be this good. gets
Meg O'Neill:to be this good. Oh, we love you. We'll see you next week. Big Love. Bye,
Jacob O'Neill:peace. Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of sex, love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan IE, you can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover at
Meg O'Neill:the dot mag dot o amazing
Jacob O'Neill:and yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all the information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions, like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Thanks for being here. Big Big Love.