Ep 52: Money, Business and the Coaching Industry

In this episode, we are going deep as we share the rollercoaster ride of business, money, and personal growth. 

We reflect on past financial struggles, emphasizing the value of personal growth and community. We talk about our  journey in starting and growing our coaching business, embracing the idea that it's a process, not a destination. 

We riff off on:

• Self-doubt and finding service as a solution.
• Entrepreneurship, risk-taking, and trusting oneself. 
• Jacob and Meg discuss the importance of investing in high-quality branding and web design for their businesses, despite the potential for higher costs.
• Meg discusses the importance of trusting oneself and taking risks in business.
• Jacob and Meg reflect on their past financial struggles, including a time when they had no money and had to rely on $50 sent by a relative.
• Meg reflects on the beauty of life and the importance of stopping to breathe into what is present, rather than constantly pursuing what's next.
• Jacob shares his realization that he's been on a 15-year journey of self-discovery since high school, and how he's come to appreciate the value of reflection and responsibility
• Meg emphasizes patience as key to long-lasting success.
• Jacob emphasizes the importance of depth over speed in various aspects of life, including business and personal growth.
• Jacob is passionate about serving people and sharing his knowledge, seeing his work as a lifelong journey rather than a short-term coaching gig.
• Jacob emphasizes the importance of taking ownership of one's label and setting boundaries in coaching, while also acknowledging the need to relate with clients and provide value.
• Meg and Jacob share their experience of adopting a dog and feeling a sense of family and emotional connection.
• Jacob and Meg are excited for parenthood and share their gratitude for listeners

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⚡️Let’s Stay Connected:  

IG: @the.meg.o @thejacoboneill @sexloveeverythinginbetween


⚡ Want more? Here are some of the offerings & courses you can join us in…

The Desire Date: A sexy date night experience for couples ready to re-ignite passion & deepen intimacy. ---> https://bit.ly/49r28Zt

Ignite Your Intimacy: A 4 week course for couples ready for a sexier, wilder, more ALIVE relationship… NOW! ---> https://bit.ly/3R0ihxU

Jacob & Meg also coach individuals & couples. Reach out to them via Instagram for more information. 

Transcript

Meg O'Neill: 0:04

Hey beautiful humans. Welcome to sex, love and everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:12

You're here with Jacob and my wife, Meg. And this

Meg O'Neill: 0:16

is the place where we have all the very, very real role and extremely unfiltered conversations about sex, love, and everything in between.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:29

It's here you get a behind the scenes look into our relationship. And we will not be holding back. Well, we might have

Meg O'Neill: 0:36

no, you don't know how to do that. Not at all. So beautiful ones. Thank you for being here. Enjoy this episode.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:47

Hey, lovers.

Meg O'Neill: 0:48

Hi. Love is Hey, lava. Hi, man. How are you? I am good. You good? And good.

Jacob O'Neill: 0:55

Have you had the greatest day ever?

Meg O'Neill: 0:56

I have had a day I've had a day I feel great. Now. I was spiraling a little earlier. Spiraling and I haven't felt that much down in a while I was just really in a lot of doubt around my value, and my work. And yeah, I'm just about to make a really big investment in Yeah, a really big investment in my business. And I think it was just bringing everything out to the surface around. Yeah, my work. And I think that's what you will. That's my experience of whenever I've made big investments or I'm about to like, really step into the next evolution of my work. It is almost a permission slip to see all the shit I need to see and meet and feel in order to experience that next thing that I'm, I'm ready to experience. So how did I like that? Felt like, Oh my God, what do I even do? Why am I even here would have people even listen to me like my stuff. And then I had just like the best fucking afternoon of coaching and really, really serving. And that is always for me when I'm ever I'm experiencing any kind of doubt or any kind of doubt. For me, just like service is always the way back into remembering, just like surf. And I really, if anyone listening that has a business, if you're just like spiraling like going fucking surf, even if it's the free, like go and just get in the energetic of serving your people. And that just like gets you out of the fuck out of the fuck out of your own fucking way.

Jacob O'Neill: 2:37

It reminds you why you do what you do. And brings you back to the actual core of your work, which is to Yeah, which is to give? Well, I'm happy for you. Thank you so happy for you,

Meg O'Neill: 2:47

you really helped me beautifully today.

Jacob O'Neill: 2:49

Yeah, but you you think it's anything like when we're about to be initiated into the next level of responsibility, especially in our work. Of course, all the stories that are conflicting with that, that level of capacity are going to come up, it's like, you can't hold both of those in your body. Like you can't not you can't like believe you're only worth a certain amount and then invest something beyond that you have to actually like, meet all of those things and then choose anyway. And that's what business can be such an initiator, for, for leadership, like self leadership, especially if you're an entrepreneur journey and you like this is really the energetics behind like this kind of work that we do. It's like, knowing that, that is the thing we need to do. And realizing that we're gonna have to face all of the uncomfortable things that are in its way. And all those things that you were saying aren't true. But they're the beliefs that can stop you from doing what the actual next step is in your business. And you could have easily gone and done 150 other different things today. But that was the one thing that was asking you to be present with it. And I

Meg O'Neill: 3:55

think I just want to speak into one other thing here because I'm making a big investment in in branding and web design for my for my business. And I only decided I wanted that like last week. And I was only really once I decided that I was like yeah, maybe we'll spend x amount of dollars. I am now deciding to spend about three times that amount. And so it does it's an investment that doesn't really make sense. Like I could go and find someone that is three times less than what I'm about to pay. But this woman that I found just feels fucking true and fucking right. And

Jacob O'Neill: 4:33

what we're gonna say is a pattern here. This has this isn't the first time

Meg O'Neill: 4:37

it means spending three times the amount of

Jacob O'Neill: 4:40

time this is not the first time well what are you getting at? This is how you roll like this is your you know this is you like rack wreck reconciling that you'd like the fucking you like high quality.

Meg O'Neill: 4:53

I like high quality, and I like things. Yeah, for me. What I was really getting at them was like This felt right. And I think, you know, I am not an advocate for going and just making because I've seen women do this just going and being like, I just throw money at things and then that shouldn't make me money back. No. Like, there needs to be a level of consciousness in the way we're investing money if we're in business or anything, but sometimes we are going to be cold to make an investment. That doesn't really make logical sense. Totally. And I think in business, like you reminded me of this, when I got off the call with this woman that's going to do my website, then I felt I'd be like, Oh, God, fuck, I'm gonna do this. And you were just like, of course, you fucking are. Like, of course, you fucking are. This is what we do. And I think there's an element even I was watching. I was watching a podcast with Casey, nice Danny stat on Diary of a CEO with I think it's Steven Bartlett. And they were talking about this is like, you know, successful CEOs and successful creators that like other people can look in at your journey as an entrepreneur and be like, That's fucking stupid, or that's a dumb decision, or that doesn't make sense. And yeah, some successful entrepreneurs are the ones that are willing to take risks, and the ones willing to do the things that don't really make sense. If you are looking for a life that makes sense, don't become an entrepreneur. Yeah, don't do it, get a nine to five. Being in business is going to invite you to, yeah, go beyond logic and to trust yourself and to, yeah, take risks and fucking back yourself. And that takes such a nervous system capacity to be willing to be with the sensation of risk, and to be with the sensation of, I have to trust myself here. And I don't know the outcome, but I'm fucking going to back myself. And yeah, that there has to be an element of insanity. I think with running a business and, and being on being an entrepreneur, I truly believe that is

Jacob O'Neill: 7:02

he willing to hold that open loop like to be okay with not having it all figured out, not having the path clear, yeah. And set. And I liken it to seeing the mountaintop that you want to go climb to but there's this forest in front of it, you can just see the peak, and you can see the mountaintop, and you can see that you need to enter the forest, but you have no idea what's in that fucking forest. You have no idea what you're going to have to face. But you know, that mountain top is where you're going. And that's the you know, for you, that's what that is that that investment is there. Like if you weren't to choose that you would be compromising on your, your felt truth. And that's the the investment piece of that. And that has served us multiple times in our personal and business lives. And even in our relationship with how we threw down at our wedding like with the investments we made, that we didn't hold back. And there's not one part of me that has regretted the investments that we've made in all areas of our life. And just to give some context, because I like to bring story we went rug shopping once. And we made was looking online for rugs and they're $400 $800. And she's looking and she could not find one she liked.

Meg O'Neill: 8:13

I think it was like 400 was like the max that was Yeah, and you just could not find one you liked. Right. And I was getting so frustrated because I'd been looking for hours. And I was like, Oh, I can't find it. I like this is really hot. It was

Jacob O'Neill: 8:24

terrible. It was absolutely just a hug. I really felt for you. But what happened then was we went for a drive to Burleigh to take a look at some rugs anyway.

Meg O'Neill: 8:36

Yeah. No, you asked me when I was getting frustrated on my laptop later, if you would like, if you could have any fucking rug you desire, what would it be? And I was like, rockin long story Burly. And you're like, well, let's go look at them. And oh, like, but I know what it is. And you're like, let's just go look at them.

Jacob O'Neill: 8:58

And then what happened? We looked at them,

Meg O'Neill: 9:00

we looked at them. And immediately I was like, I'm gonna take that one I spent like, it was really two and a half grand is two and a half$1,000. And then I had the biggest month of my life in business. Yes, I used I call that like an activating investment, an investment that activates you into a new state of being that then supports you to create more in your life. I also want to bring nuance into this because I see this in the coaching industry and I see a lot of women just again, thinking that are so I just spend money to make money. And no, that's not what this is. This is about if there is something authentically that is calling you. Right and you use discernment in this this isn't about just throwing money around willy nilly, but something that's authentically calling you. It can bite by circulating money towards that thing. It can almost like shift your self concept and activate you into a new state of being which then can you know, allow Used to be a space for more money or allow you to feel like the woman that's able to create more money. And that was definitely the case for me. I think I had my first 20 grand month that month after I bought the rug because it just activated something.

Jacob O'Neill: 10:12

Well, you like that, to me is like you honoring your deep desire, like activated depth of like receivership. Like, oh, when I honor my deep desires, I'm a space for for more. Yeah, which was cool. And like, I want to bring in another story because I'm just gonna put you on the spot if that's okay, my love.

Meg O'Neill: 10:29

I love that this is not where the episode was gonna go. But we're

Jacob O'Neill: 10:31

gonna get there. I love that. I feel like we're gonna find a segue shortly. Yeah. When you enter by your car.

Meg O'Neill: 10:38

Yeah, so this is a fucking pattern isn't it's a pattern. It is

Jacob O'Neill: 10:42

such a pattern. So we've started looking at the 25 999 base model mg. Yep. And I was like, this is a nice car for you my love, this is got everything that you need. It's like it's reliable. They're good little cars like this. This is in the repayments are going to be sell for, you'll be able to sort this all out. So this is this is your car. And then you as you do explore the rest of the MG website. Whoa,

Meg O'Neill: 11:10

did I think I'd already seen the electric one. And I was like, a little drawn to it. And then because it was during COVID, we had the woman come out to our house because we couldn't get across the border to the showroom, or whatever it is. And so the woman came out to her house. And at the time, we lived in an eco village. So everything is you know, kind of off the grid were very eco friendly, very eco friendly. And there's a lot of electric cars, and they can village and she drove in and she was a great saleswoman. And she was like, Why are you looking at the base model? Like, I'm think living here you you really eco friendly. Why wouldn't you get the electric car

Jacob O'Neill: 11:45

we rent for first? I was No, that's not how it works lady like we're looking at the base model.

Meg O'Neill: 11:50

And then I was like, Well, funny. You say that? Because I have actually felt cool. Tell me more about it. Okay, it's 20 grand well.

Jacob O'Neill: 12:00

I wanted to stretch this out a little more. So it's 25 999 for the base model. And then it's like, well, that doesn't have heated seats. It's also there's not leather seats. It also doesn't have the sunroof. So we looked at the next one, which was around 30, I think was like 32. That's 999 We'd reconcile. Okay, well, you definitely need seat warmers.

Meg O'Neill: 12:17

Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill: 12:18

you definitely need like, you definitely need it also had a good yeah, it was good little cart. Love it. And then that's when Wendy, Wendy, she came out. And she's like, she just hit you with the hard question. Why are you yelling for the electric? And you're like, why aren't I? I want the electric. And we've gone we started at 25 999. And we ended up at 44 999, which is a jump of almost $20,000. It was so it was it was just a yes. And even though in my mind, like, let's be practical here and let's be sensible. There was a part of you that was honoring your deep desire for that for what you actually wanted, you weren't going to compromise on your deep desires, knowing full well that you had the capacity to stretch into that as you know, you had the capacity to financially make that work. It wasn't like you're going by being myself. No, you weren't going buying a $250,000 car you bought you were stretching yourself in a way that was still in the zone of courage not the zone of chaos. Yes.

Meg O'Neill: 13:30

And that's like this investment as well. I have the the website I have the money for it. It was just a lot stretchier than I originally planned. Correct. And yeah, but it's again, it's like this is this is right. And it feels there's there's more sensation with this experience of investing that but it's feels right. And I think also something I want to note because one thing i and this is very much been my practice potentially yours in the last year as well. And also as a couple, but I started earning money very quickly, about two years ago compared to what I went from having a $40,000 a year to like a quarter of a million dollar a year and like that was like what the fuck and it never, you know, we had struggled and were in debt for years and years and years. And then suddenly I was like knowing how to make money. So suddenly there was lots of money I don't want to spend all that fucking money. Yeah, and I got really really good at that I got good at making and I got good at spending yet and I think there's been a depth of consciousness that's come into my life, my spending my business, all of it in the last year, which has been really beautiful. All of those things that we just spoke about. They weren't unconscious, just throwing money out into life. They were very like I'm all of them felt activating and really powerful and I stand behind all of those investments, stand behind everything I've spent money on but there's been a moment maybe not that ridiculous place we stayed up for. Actually I stand behind that but That was kind of ridiculous the amount I wanted to spend on that

Jacob O'Neill: 15:03

one, then the beach opinion. Yeah, yeah, that was, I would say that was unnecessary.

Meg O'Neill: 15:08

I think that was that was reckless.

Jacob O'Neill: 15:11

I think we've made some reckless investments. Like we went and slept on the reef at.

Meg O'Neill: 15:18

I wouldn't say that one wasn't.

Jacob O'Neill: 15:22

Yeah. And I also feel like if we had to like, go back and take a look at how we were spending our money. Yeah. And we looked at more of a long term vision, we were definitely in a season of yes, let's let's do this. And we got a helicopter to fucking Whitehaven Beach or whatever like, and we,

Meg O'Neill: 15:40

I think after so long of like, we were really reflecting on this the other day, we went and lived or not lived, but we went to Bali for like a few months, probably five years ago, now, almost five years ago. We had no money, I couldn't even go to a yoga class. And we didn't have $15 to spare to go to a fucking yoga class. We had to we had, we had like, $3 in our bank account at one stage and my, my pay was supposed to come in from the network marketing company I was working for at the time. And then we realized it was fucking Easter. And there was like three more days of public holidays until the money came.

Jacob O'Neill: 16:20

So you remember that your sister or your mom like sent us? 50 bucks? Do you remember asking for

Meg O'Neill: 16:25

Yeah, we asked for money, but then it couldn't come through bank accounts. Remember what happened?

Jacob O'Neill: 16:29

It came in, and then your MailChimp or Spotify,

Meg O'Neill: 16:34

all of these, the money suddenly came in. But because we hadn't had money in there, all of my subscriptions came out. So we got my mom or dad to send us $50 So we could eat. And then suddenly, on those dollars is gone. We went to get it out. The cash is gone. Yeah, we were like, Why isn't this fucking working? The $50 was in my account. And then we looked in it wasn't because I had taken out.

Jacob O'Neill: 16:57

And that was a sad.

Meg O'Neill: 16:58

That was such a low point. Yeah. And I remember just like yearning to have. I love that this conversations about money now. I remember yearning to be able to have money to like, yeah, go to a yoga class, or like, go to a store, look at events, even like I remember, someone was holding a women's circle here on the coast. And it was like $50. And I was just like, that's fucking ridiculous. I didn't have $50 to spend on a women's circle. And then, a few years later, I was investing 10s of 1000s of dollars in being in spaces like that. But yeah, it was really beautiful when we were when we were at lunch the other day, and we had Django and we're just like sitting there. And I forget what we were reflecting on. I think he looked at me and you were like, we have a really beautiful life. Look what we've created. And I think it's so it's so cliche, but it's so true that we can get so caught up in what is next. And forget to stop and breathe into what is here. And again, so cliche, but we can forget that we're actually living out what our past self deeply drempt of like if that version of us in Bali saw the life we had created now, even that we have this podcast and the amount of people that listen to this podcast, and we're

Jacob O'Neill: 18:24

sitting in six or$700 chairs on the podcast, like, there was no part of me that ever thought we'd have the capacity to live this live at this, like desired like this, this level of desire. Like I was always like, yeah, I never I never knew this was possible. And I'm not saying that we're in a position of like, infinite abundance of like, we can quit our jobs and go and like, do whatever we want. Like there's still a part of us that is actively engaged in growing our businesses. There's just so much more we desire, but yeah, to like, and that's what I think like for so many people that they feel like they're on this never ending pursuit of that, then the next thing is like, do you ever stop and just reflect back on the last year, three years, five years, 10 years and see where you've come from? I only realized the other day, that's been 15 years since I've been at high school. Well, I was just like, reflecting on being at being 17 and 18. And I was thinking about how like, at that age, my nan and pop had a child at 18 they had a child, I was thinking far out I've spent the last 15 years figuring shit out. Imagine if I had a child to look after in that. If I had like a level of responsibility that was beyond just my own. My own self development. I'm like, wow, this is this is huge. So I think yeah, I think like, the other day when I was sitting in a cafe like this is a beautiful life. I think that's that comes from reflection and having those low moments which are part of the part of the journey.

Meg O'Neill: 19:59

Yeah, Hmm, and that ability to reflect and that's something else. I've we've been talking about this a lot I've been really landing in this in my own work and life. And again, so fucking cliche, but the fact that like where always Is he okay yeah, Django is just in the room with us sleeping under Jacob's chair the cliche piece of like, there's no destination, it's always a journey. And like that's just really landed. Cliche like that, like so deeply landed, like just seeing the part of me, particularly in business that always thought I was going to get to a place where it just suddenly got easy. Like it was all easy and there were no issues and there was always this feeling of completion. And I'm like, Ah, that's, that's not business. Business is a process like, I'm constantly you always remind me of this, like, you're always going to be creating, there's not just like this Apex point of being like, Woohoo, it's done. Like, there's going to be milestones along the way. But there's always going to be this element of, I'm on the journey, I'm in process and this year is for me is really been about like accepting that. Like, Ah, okay, can I rest into the journey? Can I rest into the feeling of this being a process, instead of like, gripping hold and holding my breath until I get to the finish line? realizing like, well, I'm always gonna be fucking gripping and holding my breath because there's not an actual finish line in business,

Jacob O'Neill: 21:50

tantric business baby, relax into wax into it. Well,

Meg O'Neill: 21:54

I always say how we fuck is how we do life. Yeah. And it's true. It is a lot of us are holding our breath and gripping on to trying to get our orgasm out or like forcing our orgasms out. And it's the same way we go after whatever we want in life. And if we actually learn to relax into our body, relax into the moment enjoy the journey while we're fucking ourselves or another person, or multiple people, you know, that really ripples out into life. The way we talk is the way we do laugh came on.

Jacob O'Neill: 22:27

Is there anything else you want to share about business my love? finances so you can the other finance tips for Meg's 10 Finance tips?

Meg O'Neill: 22:36

No, we started seeing a financial advisor a few months ago,

Jacob O'Neill: 22:40

I think the key thing really powerful for us, I think the journey is like yeah, being willing to do whatever it takes to follow your your passion, even if it means being broke as fuck in Bali, if it means moving in with your partner's parents for fucking four months in Brisbane did that. Even if it means like doing stuff that like doesn't make sense to anyone else. I know, I spent fucking hours doing that fucking data entry tried to get my plumbing app going for fucking days on end, when we were living with your parents. And I was like, This just feels like pure fucking madness. Yeah. And it felt like I was like, I don't know if this is actually healthy. But there was a part of me that wasn't willing to give up. And I think that like, that's where I learned a lot from you have this like, resilience, resilience piece of like, I'm gonna keep on going, I'm gonna keep on going. And I'm gonna figure this out. And what then happened. Subsequently, a few years later, from that moment took you took a few years, was like maybe two years was, we then got to the point where like, Ah, now we know how to have money coming in. We've learned how to have money flow into us into our bank accounts. But then this whole other arena of managing money was the new challenge. So we had money flowing in, right? Oh, you did definitely before me, and then I figured it out eventually. But we then were like, wow, look at this. What should we do? Why don't we do that? Let's do this. Let's do that. And we were able to, like, circulate that money in a way that like brought us a really like rich, enriching lifestyle. But we hadn't learned how to actually, like manage that money, even to the point that we did try to do some investing, and we got going pretty well. And we got some money in the investment accounts. But then we're like, Oh, you'll have a big fucking wedding. So we decided to have a big fucking wedding. And then that was where like, we, we drained that investment back into, like, what we desired. And I don't have any regrets around that. But at the same time, I'm like, Oh, this is cool. Because we're learning like our money can come to us quite easily now. Or we can we know how to work with money in a way that allows us to receive deeply and be valued for our services. But can we actually like create a nervous system that's able to hold that money and then use that money accordingly to our longer term vision?

Meg O'Neill: 24:58

Yeah, huh? Yeah.

Jacob O'Neill: 25:01

And we're getting there. Well, yeah, we had a meeting with a financial advisor. Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. And we did.

Meg O'Neill: 25:09

Yeah. That's our next edge is is the management of money. Yeah. And the creation of wealth, which I'm so excited about. Yeah, bring it on. I think the the almost like golden piece I want to just reiterate to you beautiful humans listening is yeah, that if you are on the journey of like, creating something, especially in business, entrepreneurship, it's that like, Patience. Patience, patience, patience. Patience, patience, patience, patience. Like, I also, I really like the the podcast Diary of a CDR. I think, I love listening to anyone who has had success and hearing their life story. Like, I love that I love understanding how successful people, you know, came into success no matter what kind of realm of life or realm they're successes in. And I was listening to Diary of a CEO and Seth Rogen was on and Steven asked him, like, like, what do you attribute to your success? And he just said, I just never, I never stopped. Yeah. Meaning like, you know, he was like, I'm not more creative than other people. I'm not, you know, anything else and other people. I just kept going. I didn't leave the arena. And I think there's such like, yes, skill, yes, anything like all of those things are necessary. But if you're staying in the fucking arena, you learn that over time, totally sharpen the sword, you know, whatever the thing is, sharpen the sword, sharpen the sword. But yeah, that's such a, there's such an unsexy truth to that. Like, stay, hold, be patient, it'll come. And I think in the, in the world we live in now people are wanting like the 123 step formula to everything. And I think that's a real sexy way to like, package up work and do that sometimes. But the truth is, like, for long lasting success, in Yeah, in whatever it is, it's it's patience. Patience, patience, patience. I

Jacob O'Neill: 27:24

really love the way that we bring the word devotion into a lot of our work. And I do this a lot with man, I speak about the journey, but I speak about, like, you have to practice devotion, you have to be devoted to the, the, the experience of moving toward, and I just, that's just the fucking truth. Like, there's no magic bullets, you know, the magic pill, the silver bullet is they, you can try them and they might, like you said, throw money at something to try and get more of what you want. Or maybe you think that this is the next thing that's going to change it, but then you sort of wake up the next day, and, you know, figure out what you're going to do. So what a you know, in a month's time, there's going to be something else to do on a year's time is gonna be something else to do in 10 years time, there's gonna be something else to do. So one of the things that I really love about our approach is that we've we've created this, like really, really deep understanding around sustainability when it comes to depth, whether that's in business, or relationship, or just our own personal practice, it's like, can we prioritize depth over speed? And can we know when it's time to actually like, just do the work day in day out, and when we're being called to be initiated into another level of capacity. So, you know, like you said, with your branding, you could sit there and day in day out for the next three months, do the branding yourself. But the real fact is that you need to invest at a level that shows you that you're now stepping into a new level of maturity in your business. I am the kind of woman that has fucking biomass branding, wicked representation, and this is hey, I'm here like here I am presenting to the world as this this brand of this business, this service based fucking woman who is so deeply, deeply devoted to her body of work that I'm no longer going to be doing the things that aren't my zone of genius. And that's a that's a vulnerable place to be but it's like the most beautiful part like for me the the initiation moments are what make make for fucking awesome stories

Meg O'Neill: 29:35

do you want to go into it? We're gonna talk about Oh, Jesus, I want to keep vibing with this.

Jacob O'Neill: 29:38

We just keep bobbing with this. This is a whole podcast. Yeah. Cool, cool topic. Let's keep going. Do you want to just kick it off?

Meg O'Neill: 29:48

Yeah, keep going.

Jacob O'Neill: 29:49

I am. I've also learned I

Meg O'Neill: 29:52

love everyone. It's like 930 at night and we've just been on we were just on it and ignite your intimacy Eagle CO which is so fucking epic. And

Jacob O'Neill: 29:59

we're gonna say Back to that we're definitely still going to do the topic we originally were going to do is Yeah. Can I

Meg O'Neill: 30:05

just feel like this is more just casual? Let's jump on the mics and yeah, speak into whatever is alive.

Jacob O'Neill: 30:11

Just spit a 60 Truth. Yeah. What was he gonna say? I've also learned so much around like pricing my work and understanding how to like, create sustainability in my business around like, Ah, I'm not like my next program isn't going to be the thing that retires me. Oh,

Meg O'Neill: 30:36

I think that is so true. I even got caught up in this energy thinking that yeah, like putting all all my expectations on the one launch but again like that's not business and I think in the coaching industry there is a sometimes such a tunnel vision or like short term focus on yet the next the next month or the next launch, where if we look at like big businesses, you know, that's not what they do. They're like long term fucking vision and they're willing to take some hits or take some risks in the short term in service to the longer vision and yeah, I think that that's so important we do that is in our industry to 100% So yeah, pricing not to be like, Oh, this is gonna be 100k launch or Yeah, yeah,

Jacob O'Neill: 31:32

definitely. And for me, I learned like, ah, like I charged 4k This time now charge 6k now charge aka don't charge 16k Downstairs 24k. Now, more and more, more, more more. It's like, oh, what's actually a healthy energetic exchange that I receive money that I know I'm worth. And I'm excited as fuck to serve these people.

Meg O'Neill: 31:51

I so agree. And

Jacob O'Neill: 31:53

I've been I've been on both ends of the spectrum, I've overcharged. And then I felt like I've needed to give more more, more, more more, because I felt guilty for taking so much money off from someone. Ironically, they were happy to invest that they got a lot of value out of it. It was only my own incongruence my internal congruence. So it's like, externally, everything was good. But internally, there was something out. And I was like, oh, cool, like, and then there's been other times where I've undercharged so fucking badly. And I'll share like my first like, 12 month program that I ran was called the mountain brotherhood. And I fucking charged $1,100 for 12 months of coaching with me. And these guys, we got a monthly call, monthly group call a minor monthly one on one. So I was gave away like 24 calls for$1,100 to each person and like that was where I was at. But I also learned pretty quickly that our to offer something over over a 12 month period, and then learn in that cycle was quite drought as a big learning curve for me at the start of my journey. And it's like to be able to like, navigate my pricing now to a point where it's like, oh, this is what I'm worth, this is what I know will deliver, you'll receive an epic amount of value. And I trust that if you can't afford that, then I don't need to change the pricing to suit you. Yeah, completely. Yeah. And um, the one last thing I'll say before I let you speak here, my love is that like as you grow in business, you build out a healthy ecosystem of different products and different valuable resources that give people access to your work at different levels. Yeah, so I think that this podcast has been so much fun to like, just jump on and just share so much of what we do and what we are about and just be able to give it give it to everyone every week for free like so here have have some have access to us.

Meg O'Neill: 33:41

It's been so fun to serve in this way so generously for free. Like majority of people, I would say listening to this aren't in our work. Yeah, they probably will step into our work but it's not as if everyone is coaching with us. Not everyone is in full spectrum woman or everyone listening is in seventh and sacred. No, like a lot of this is us serving for free. And I think that's so that that's, that's part of how business works, or at least the coaching industry works in that way. And this has been one of my favorite things about the last year is creating this podcast and, and serving in such a generous deep way and building community.

Jacob O'Neill: 34:19

Definitely. Yeah, there's like it once again, that devotion to service has come back online more and more this year for both of us I feel and in that we've created a more healthy, sustainable, robust business design individually like for both of our businesses, where we're able to create products and services that actually like deliver value at different different levels. Like you want to work with us one on one, here's the price. If that's not for you, here's here's a group program that's not for you. Here's a here's a short course like here's there's so many ways for you to access these words.

Meg O'Neill: 34:50

He's like, Yeah, 70 hours of podcast listening. Yeah, and

Jacob O'Neill: 34:54

the thing is, we're not it's beautiful to get to a point. I think this is all part of the journey to where like If someone says no to working with me like I had it happened last Friday, I was sharing with a guy and he's like, when I'm so excited to work with you one on one. I said, Awesome, bro like to work with me. It's, it's, it's $6,000 for three months. And he was like, Oh, wow, I didn't realize it would be that much. I said, Yeah, bro, that's my that's my price, I can do a payment plan. But if that if that's not if you can't afford that right now, but that's totally okay. It's totally okay. I said I offer a different other things and I can I'm gonna send you an email with a few other things that I have on offer. And if they feel right, happy days, if not, and you want to, you know, wait six months and save up and or you want to like, you know, work a bit more and work out how you could make this happen, then, hey, I'm here. I'm not going to force you into joining my program. Yeah, so that's my class. I think that's like, that is such a, it's so nice not to need people. In the role of coach. I know, for me, there was parts of my journey at the beginning where I was like, I need your transformation more than you do. Oh, that's big. Yeah.

Meg O'Neill: 36:04

That's why I'm such an advocate for people having a job whilst they start a business. Yes, I you know, when I used to do a lot of business coaching, and I would always advocate for women to do that. Unless that was some people thrive in Fuck, I'm going all the way the fuck in and I've got no backup plan. And to a certain degree, I've done that in different stages of my my entrepreneur, business journey. But also I just think it create it can create such a neediness in business. And that's, that's not fun to be in, as the business owner. And that's not fun to be on the other end of Yeah. And when you're when you have, you know, an income servicing your needs and your business can be there can be a purity to that. Yeah, there's, there's beauty in that. And I also think we all need to have our kinda like, yeah, it's my kind of moment. Totally. And

Jacob O'Neill: 37:01

the two things want to say is like, there's a concept of burning the boats. That's like a really, I love that. Yeah. Do you want

Meg O'Neill: 37:08

to share that story? Yeah, so I also feel like if anyone's watching the video, I'm flashing, I'm flashing,

Jacob O'Neill: 37:15

flashing lights. The concept of like, burning the boats is that there's these these warriors, and they're sailing to a distant shore, right. And the captain is leading them and there's a fleet of these boats, and they pull up on this, this this rocky shore with a big cliff, as this cliff has got a beautiful big, just like sloping hill and over that hill was they land they jump off the boats, like we're gonna take over this land, we're gonna conquer it, we're gonna get what's ours, you know, go out and you know, make it make make the market over the hill comes 10,000 warriors, from the, from the, from this native to this land, and they stand on top of the hill. And in that time, before those warriors come down and find their way down the rocky cliff and meet them on the beaches, they they're able to be put in a position where they'd have to make a choice. Do they hop on the boats and return home? Or do they face up to these 10,000 warriors and fight and mind you there's 1000 warriors that have just rocked up on the boat. So they're outnumbered 10 to one. And they get option a stay in fight and most likely die, option B, how often the boats return home. And what the captain orders the men to do is to lighter flame lighter torch and burn every single one of the boats. So option B is not an option. And Option A is all that they've got. So when they're fighting, they're fighting literally for their lives. They're not fighting and if they start to lose, they can hop on the boats, they go all the fucking way in. And that to me is such a fucking audacious energy that when you do make those decisions, and you're making them from like an actual like, I'm ready for this fucking initiation not like I need to be successful because I want people to see me as this when you like I'm here to fucking serve and that's all I'm gonna fuckin do. And I know when that comes online for me, like I have a I have a mantra it's like, especially with Teague on this year I was like I'm running this motherfucker if I will. I will go into debt I will do or I will lose everything for this fucking retreat. I don't give a fuck I'm going all in even if I'm the only person that I'm going to do every single practice for the four days by myself and eat 400 Fucking watermelons and all the shit that I bought. And when I just started speaking like that, I just couldn't stop fucking talking about it. I couldn't stop being about I couldn't stop walking with this sense of like, I am that motherfucker like you can't fuck with me because I'm doing this regardless. And that level of sovereignty that comes online and that level of like there's only one one outcome here this is happening is fucking powerful. What sometimes happens those people and this is the issue with the burn the boats thing is people will get within say five or six kilometres of the shore, and they'll torch the boat, and they're still out in the water. And then they fucking trying to swim to shore. And when they get to shore, they're exhausted they're burning the boats before they actually get to shore. So quite often people it's not about burning the boats, being the right or wrong decision is like, when do I burn the boats? Yeah. And that's an important, important understanding that I believe a lot of, especially a lot of young entrepreneurial like wide eyed people have to like realize is like, sometimes you gotta burn the boats before you get to shore. And you're gonna have to go through that realization of like, Fuck humbling too soon. Yeah, yeah. So that's the thing. The other the other thing that I wanted to say, especially for people on this journey, how are we doing for time? My love? Yeah, good. Good, is what do I need to feel safe? What do I need for my nervous system to feel safe for me to serve unconditionally?

Meg O'Neill: 41:02

Oh, say that again?

Jacob O'Neill: 41:04

What do I need for my nervous system to feel safe, in order to serve unconditionally. And that has been a massive, massive game changer for a lot of the guys that have worked with me that are looking to like step into leadership, it's like, if you are in an activated state, and you're serving, and you're like living in scarcity, there's going to be a part of you that needs your clients money more than they need your services. And in that dynamic creates a neediness. It creates an insecure, like this insecure attachment to that person. And energetically, they're going to feel that you're going to feel that and regardless of the outcomes they get, it's not going to stick because there's this. Yeah, there's this imbalance. There's this incongruence, even

Meg O'Neill: 41:54

the way you spoke about the client from last week, when he was at a node of working with you, there needs to be a level of what do you need? What do you need so that you can meet those moments with a level of neutrality? Totally. Like, I'm the same when a client comes to me, and they, you know, they're interested in working with me, and then even if they're like, Yeah, I'm so in and then they ghost it's just like, I'm so fucking neutral to that shit now, because I'm like, I don't there'll be someone else or like, I don't. And that's also a privilege to get to that stage of business where I'm not relying on. Bless you. Unless you were. Yeah, I'm not relying on that. But also that this is what I was saying before. I really invite. Yeah, I really, when I used to do a lot of business coaching, I would be inviting my clients to, yeah, have if they need a job if they like anything, so that they can, you know, actually meet their clients with a level of neutrality. And that's of service to them. But that's more importantly in service to the client. And future client. 100%.

Jacob O'Neill: 43:05

Oh,

Meg O'Neill: 43:05

I love that. This. This has been like money chats, business chats, yeah. Anything else we want to bring. The

Jacob O'Neill: 43:14

other thing that I want to speak about was like the difference between like initiation investing in integration investing. I think that's a really cool thing to speak about. Like, tell me like for you like there's a there's a part of his he's like,

Meg O'Neill: 43:28

God, he's like, on his back we'd like one lay. Oh, my God, it's cheeky guy I understand it better look at them. It's having a dog is the best thing ever. How have I never had a dog before?

Jacob O'Neill: 43:39

Like, for some, for some people, like an initiation investment is the thing that is like it's the burn the boats moment, right? It's the I need to invest in a way that is going to activate me into going all in. Yeah, yeah. And that's an initiation investment. Right? Like for me, right now, I'm not in an initiation investment season. But when I did invest in my business coach, I invested, like, more money than I ever have. And the same thing happened like I you know, within three, three or four months, I'd had some of my biggest months ever. Business just drew the energetic alignment of like, I'm all in now. I'm not Yeah, I never I when I speak, people ask me what I do. I'm like, I'm a full time men's coach. Like I don't leave space for the the, the uncertainty, or your men's coach, like, do you do that part? No. I'm a full time men's coach. And I would speak with such conviction, like, this is what I do. And I became so much clearer in how I delivered what I do. Like I'm a men's leadership coach, I coach men to live freely, love deeply and serve humbly. So humanity can fucking thrive. And that became like really fucking clear once I started investing in like once I had those initiation investments, which was fucking awesome. It was such a beautiful experience to go through that firsthand after seeing you go through it, my love, and then the integration investments or how am I actually maintaining a place in the arena? How am I actually stepping into the arena regulated and keeping myself fine tuned to the frequency of expansion and growth. And that, for me has been a lot of my ceremony work like religiously, like going to ceremony like staying connected to sweat lodge staying connected to, I'm currently in America, a low ticket mastermind where I get to like be a part of a community and I get to go on like, weekly calls and jam on different topics and just being a part of like, a group where I can speak into what I'm creating and just be seen and, and moving with other people that are operating at the level I am. Feels like I'm still in the arena, I'm not initiating myself, and then just going back into what I was doing before. And this for me is super important for people to understand like, yeah, you if you're continually like stretching yourself in those initiation investments, there is a point where you will have to integrate.

Meg O'Neill: 46:02

Yeah. And I think it's also I've witnessed this, I don't think, probably had one investment like this, where I invested in I realized, oh, fuck, I was just investing in that, because I thought that was gonna make me lots of money. Yeah. And that was just almost like a caffeinated investment. Like a really like, Oh, my God, I feel like, you know, full of caffeine, I'm like a bit, you know, hi. I'm going to make that investment without actually it being embodied. And I've seen and witnessed the effects of this in the industry where people are, especially women in business are just again, like throwing money out there, thinking that, Oh, that's what I do. You just throw money at a coach and they make you lots of money. And it's like, no, don't invest in something that isn't true for you. Don't invest in something that doesn't feel also that you can't fucking get behind and you can't own. If you were to get nothing out of that experience. Can you still sit behind that investment? Can you still have nothing? Meaning like, if you want to make money out of that, can you still stand behind that investment? And I think there were a lot of people investing money that that couldn't, and they would just doing it from this, this code, this coach makes lots of money. If I give money to them, they'll be able to make me lots of money. That's not how it fucking works at all. And there has to be such a depth of there's such a depth of ownership and every investment I've in I've made and yeah, yeah, I think that's just changing in the industry. I think it was a lot in the women's coaching space. I didn't necessarily or not really in the men's coaching space. But I've seen the energetics really shift and people are way more discerning there. I am not seeing this like like you said before, it's like 6k 10k 20k 30k 40k 50k Like it's it's it's less caffeinated. It's there's a there's a groundedness to the industry that probably wasn't there a year ago. And even for me, I felt that like yeah, I'm I'm focused so much more on sustainability. I'm not, you know, I raise I put down my prices probably a year ago, and that feels really good. For me, I'm focusing more on sustainability than like, how much can I fucking charge? That's not Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm wanting to add, like accessibility is really important to me, accessibility having my work, you know, obviously, not everyone can work one on one with me. So that's at a certain price point. But for me, even that's the reason why I shifted full spectrum woman that used to be a high end program, and women would pay 1000s and 1000s of dollars to be in that space with me for three months. I was like, I want more fucking women in this work. That's what I was really cool to. And now women pay a few $100 a month to be a part of that. And there's still equal amounts of value, if not more in terms of what they're receiving. So yeah, I think that's what shifted for me around that. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill: 48:55

if I can, I love that. And like, yeah, like, what I hear in like, both of our, like, our words right now is like we're playing we're shifting from how can I have the My biggest quarter or my biggest month? To how can I create something that's like, like, long lasting? How can I like build quality products and services that allow people to really deeply receive from our work and have access to our work at varying levels so people can have the experience that they're designed to have, and even after just getting off, ignite your intimacy, and we ran that, like a, like a really affordable price over always loads of value, and just seeing the you know, some of the some of the guys on that were just having some bright absolute, like massive like, moments in their relationships that were just leading to like the most epic fucking, like sex and love and intimacy, and I was just like, Man, fuck it, like I love this shit. I love serving people. I love sharing this info. motion and I love being a stand for it. And part of that is like, seeing this as a life long journey for us, like, Yeah, I'm not here to be a coach for the next fucking three months, I'm here to be a coach for the rest of my life. And I'm, I'm a big advocate for owning that, that, that fucking label, so many people that I've spoken to, and a lot of guys definitely they're like, oh, like coaches of fact, or coaching is just, you know, that's just, I don't resonate with that word. I'm like, if you don't resonate with that word, yet, you're trying to do everything that a coach does, you're not willing to fucking take the arrows, you know, willing to stand up and like, deliver quality and set a standard for not only yourself, but the industry. And that for me, you know, I've, I'm very clear on you know, I don't we, I set you know, my container at three months to work with me one on one, but just, you know, I just had a guy call me today to tell me about the breakthrough that he had, you know, two weeks after we finished I thought, this is as like, I'm gonna answer this because this is gonna be good. He's like, Hey, I just had to, I had to bring in tell you about, you know, the result. Like, it's all landing. I'm just like, you know, I'm, I want to be the guy that can answer a call like that have a 10 minute chat with a client that the previous client, close it down and be like, cool. stoked for you, bro, and be able to, like, receive that feedback and like, take that with me and use that as fuel rather than being this harsh, like, these are my boundaries. This is how I offer and it's like, no, I'm a fucking human. I'm here to relate with people, obviously, you know, not just to give my time and energy away, but to understand that, like, we fucking do the work and we finish when the work is done, you know, I'm not going to leave you hanging, I'm not going to leave you half baked. That's not That's not a healthy I believe that's a healthy way to lead with integrity, especially in this coaching arena. Sorry, I just had to get a little bit pumped up about that. And to there was another thing I was gonna say around like the you know, he said, like with the women and like that, that almost like they're caffeinated investing, I feel that like men have always like it for men to have massive self worth journey for them to get, you know, I know a lot of personal development was predominantly a lot of women do it. And I've spoken to other people that run code gender stuff, and they have 80 to 90% women. And for me, like I'm focusing just on men, so I know how how big like an investment can be itself. So for me like it's like how do I actually build my business to meet the market or to meet the to meet the men where they're at, whilst not diminishing my value? And that's been a that's been a really powerful journey for me over the last 12 months. Is there anything else that you want to share my love around finances or business or

Meg O'Neill: 52:42

the coding industry? No, this was this was a fun, spontaneous, unexpected direction. But I hope you guys enjoyed it. You guys enjoyed. If you came for the relationship shots, this episode probably wasn't for you. But I also know that so many of yeah, those of you that are here in this community are entrepreneurs, coaches are business owners, you know, taking an unconventional path. So I'm sure there was a lot of gold in this episode. So let us know if you'd like us to deepen into these kinds of conversations more regularly as well. Because you know, the podcast is called Sex love and everything in between it is a little feedback like where's the everything in between?

Jacob O'Neill: 53:22

I love the everything in between. I'm here probably more everything in between all talking about the plants. I want to talk about. Dogs.

Meg O'Neill: 53:31

Oh, at the dog, how we're training our dog how we're training a dog. Our dog looks so cute right now, guys. It looks so adorable. He's upside down. And he's he just having a dog is so beautiful, because they just follow you everywhere.

Jacob O'Neill: 53:46

That's been another part of the contentment to like, just like feeling that.

Meg O'Neill: 53:49

Oh my gosh, like,

Jacob O'Neill: 53:50

I'm not I don't like being called mommy and daddy of the dog. We like people knowing that I like to be that I like that. But um, yeah, it's made of this. It's really felt like family. It's felt like this family energy. It's like, oh, like, when

Meg O'Neill: 54:05

I left today, and I drove away and I was already feeling emotional. And he said, I Well, my window down and you were yelling. We love you. As you're holding our puppy and I was like, we there's a wheel.

Jacob O'Neill: 54:21

Yeah, it feels Yeah, it feels really special. Yeah, and um, so that's coming. So excited for parenthood with email. Me too. Amazing. So

Meg O'Neill: 54:32

thanks for listening. Beautiful humans. We will see you next week. Yeah,

Jacob O'Neill: 54:38

I think we're doing a 2023 recount next week and do a 2023 recap Bring it on. And

Meg O'Neill: 54:42

then I actually have some I have a guest coming. Oh yeah, you do this week to record a podcast. It's gonna be so fucking fun. So in a few weeks time, potentially even next week, there's gonna be a very saucy episode. So what was that? Those sources Okay, thanks for being here. Beautiful ones. We love you. And yeah, we really appreciate you listening. Me supporting me being a part of this journey filled

Jacob O'Neill: 55:13

with gratitude right now. We have a beautiful life. We are so lucky. We

Meg O'Neill: 55:17

do and thanks for being a part of it beautiful humans. We appreciate you really, really, really fucking appreciate you. And if you do love the podcast, it means the world to us and is deeply supportive in having the podcast get into more people's ears for you to subscribe and also review the podcast. So you can do that on Apple. Go to the Apple App find sex love and everything in between. Give it five stars rights and cool shit.

Jacob O'Neill: 55:43

Hell yeah,

Meg O'Neill: 55:44

that just really helps the podcast. Yeah be seen by more humans and to have these conversations in in the ears of more humans that are devoted to Epic sets. Sets.

Jacob O'Neill: 55:57

Epic sets of six.

Meg O'Neill: 55:59

Yeah, that can you tell it's nearly 10pm It's no. Please bright light. You guys go out I was saying okay, we'll see you next week. We love you.

Jacob O'Neill: 56:12

Yo, yo, yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Sex love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan i You can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover at

Meg O'Neill: 56:28

the dot mag dot o me

Jacob O'Neill: 56:31

amazing. And yeah, guys, check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions, like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your day.

Meg O'Neill: 56:50

Thanks for being here.

Jacob O'Neill: 56:52

Big Big Love.