Ep 42: When Less is More: The Benefits of Space in a Loving Partnership

Jacob is back from his exciting TGOM retreat, where he joined 150 men from all corners of Australia for an unforgettable experience. 

Meg and Jacob are eager to share how taking time apart has strengthened their relationship. They reminisce about their 'Single Saturdays' and how this practice of creating space within their relationship has deepened their love and appreciation for one another.

Spending time apart allowed them to reconnect with their own unique selves, passions, and individual identities. It gave them the opportunity to miss each other and rekindle the desire for each other's company.

Meg and Jacob have realized that creating space in their relationship is not about growing apart emotionally or neglecting one another. It's about celebrating their individuality and supporting each other's personal growth. It's about encouraging each other to thrive as both a couple and as unique individuals.

So, if you're in a relationship, consider the benefits of taking some time apart. It could be a solo retreat, a day for your own hobbies, or your version of 'Single Saturdays.' 

This practice can be transformative. By giving each other the gift of space, you might just find that it strengthens your bond and brings you closer together. As it turns out, absence truly can make the heart grow fonder.

They riff of on:

• The TGOM Men's retreat
• Why not talking to each other can benefit your relationship and sex life
• Creating space for intimacy in relationships through boundaries and polarity.
• Self care in relationships

and many more...

LINKS:

Come say hi on Instagram - @sexloveeverythinginbetween
Meg: @the.meg.o Jacob: @thejacoboneill

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Transcript

0:00

You don't understand the benefit until you come back together. Yeah, so this can be edgy for people. And I know, there's a lot. I know all the different attachment styles and all these different formulas and things that we diagnosed ourselves with as to how we show up in relationships. But when we create some space, we start to remember who we are, we start to get in touch with a part of ourselves that may have been laying dormant after putting all of the pressure on our partner to do everything. I know we've done that many, many times, both ways. When we do take that space, we remember who we are, we remember what our vision for life is. And then we can bring that back to the relationship. Hey, beautiful humans, welcome to sex, love, and everything in between. You're here with Jacob and my wife, Meg. And this is the place where we have all the very, very real role and extremely unfiltered conversations about sex, love, and everything in between. It's here you get a behind the scenes look into our relationship. And we will not be holding back well, we might have no, you don't know how to do that. Not at all. So beautiful ones. Thank you for being here. Enjoy this episode. Hi, my man. Hey, lover. Oh, that voice of yours. You like that? Do you like me? You like having me home day? Yeah, you do. Love you just did it the way you're looking at me so intensely right now. Like having the king home day. I love having the king home. Here he is. He's back baby. The King is a little coat to be honest. You are. Yeah. You got some cold sores. You got that sexy voice? Yeah, you passed out last night. I never go to bed before 9pm ever. You? Yeah. Yeah. 18. I remember looking at my work that my phone I was like, I'll just put a YouTube video on and I couldn't I couldn't get up to get the remote. I was just like, couldn't turn the light. That's a great feeling being that tired? Yeah. Oh, man. I got it. Sorry. You go. But you know, and like you're a kid at a party. And you're like, your parents are at a party and they have to pick you up and carry you. Yeah, I thought that that's what it felt like. What did you mean? Are you gonna pick me up? Are you gonna say I was gonna say when I got home from my stripper course? Yes. And I was asked, I was trying to be supportive. But I was asking you questions and you're like, Hey, I just can't answer anymore. You bombed but they weren't big questions, either. Were really just like simple questions. But I was just like, I don't, I can't actually talk. That's an that's a place I really need to practice. It's like, That's me trying to be helpful. But in me trying to be helpful. I'm actually giving you too many decisions. I'm giving you more things to think about and decide on. Yes, yeah. You always tell me take a risk. Yeah. Because you are incredible. This is a bit sidetracked. But like, that is something you are so incredible at in our relationship and have been for years. And that is really, yeah, that has really made you the man that can so deeply hold me is that you were willing to like, get it wrong. You were willing to trust yourself and go like, she hasn't asked for this right now. But I'm going to trust that I can see that this is what she needs. And I get scared to take. I want to know 100% Is this what you need? And will this be helpful right now? That's just like that doesn't feel like it's the risk that feels like love. Yeah, that's the risk means you could be deeply rejected and you could get it wrong. And I've had that before like when I could do that manana Fred. Yeah. Thanks. brought it in. You're like, I don't feel like it. Yeah, taking a risk means it's not just risking get it wrong. getting it wrong. It's risking like your own feelings being hurt. Yeah. So like, yeah, you might like yeah, rejection or just like, that feeling of like, Ah, I really thought this was the thing. Yeah. And yeah, that's what I feel like vulnerability is that yeah, yes. That is about you. Totally. And I probably reject you all the time. Yeah, you do. Just don't take it personally. Oh, my God. Okay. Are you feeling my love? I've just got this cough. I told everyone on the last episode that I'm taking herbs and it will be gone soon. I'm sorry that I continue to have this annoying cough in the background. Yeah. But other than that, I'm running I'm so fucking turned on today. Like I'm unbelievably turned on. Yeah. And it's really fun. It works. We just spent the morning cleaning our house before the cleaning came. Yeah, because it was atrocious. It was probably the worst. It's been. Well, you did have about 30 kilos of extra food leftover that was just like rotting during around our house. Yeah. So we cleaned but we hadn't music on and I was just like, it was like a cloud was not clean. I was just grind you grind. It was monitor. I had to just like, Well, I was like, I want to get this done. But then I don't know how many people get the pleasure of like, waking up and listening to music cleaning the kitchen whilst the wife grinds naked on them. I then thought about like, can I actually be upset about this? Can I actually be frustrated about this? Like I've got a naked woman grinding on me while I'm like cleaning the dishes. The sun is shining. How could I? How could I? How could I say this is not what I want? Yeah. What else my love? What else? Well, do you want to talk about the gathering of men? You asked me questions? Yeah. Sorry. You didn't want me to ask you questions. And taking tell us how the fuck it was 150 men. For five days. It was four days. It was incredible. It was so good. It was so fulfilling. Like I love when I leave something feeling both like utter exhaustion and extreme contentment. Yeah. And just the reflections from almost every man that came through it, you know, got to say it was so beautiful to get the opportunity to say farewell to most of the men individually because they came up and made an effort to say thank you. And I got to you know, see some some facilities meet all the facilitators step up and lead in a way that they never have before like the facilitation team were second to none the support crew are all my closest bros, my dad. Dad was there, which was great. And getting to see. No, it wasn't seeing them. It was it feeling them, feeling their support. And knowing I could trust that whatever needed to get done would get done was a it was a very, very sad new feeling. But it was like a new level of receivership that I was allowing in. Yeah, and we just had so much fun. We had the most best weather we had just like incredible encounters with Spirit just like waving, it's waving itself throughout every single moment. And yeah, there's something special when that amount of men come together to with each with a clear intention to expand, let go surrender, reclaim whatever it is that they're they're choosing. It was a powerful, powerful experience. Cannot wait for the content job. I'm gonna show you some photos today, serious cost is going to come out of this. Yeah. I loved what and I know I need I know you love to keep a lot of what goes down. Private, just for the space. But I loved I loved that he was sharing that one of my favorite moments was when there was meant to be some kind of practice or embodiment practice together. But then just like separate groups started to form and just like the ecosystem, or the entity of the whole collective energy just just was like doing its own thing. And he said, Men were rolling jujitsu and the men were creating music and jamming and men was swimming and just like, yeah, just like trust it. You're You're incredible at that as a as a human being but as a facilitator, just like trusting the unfolding. Yeah, that was that was the piece that I couldn't believe I had a feeling it would happen. But it's a different thing to have a feeling it's going to happen. And then actually, like be in that moment where the entity has its own heartbeat. It's no longer me having to like keep the beat. Yeah, and I just sat there and I was like, Oh, we're meant to be doing this right now. And if I was to enforce my will upon the entity, it would be me needing to change what truth was emerging. And that was like a new level of surrender for me. And I wouldn't say that outwardly I'm a control freak, but in my internal world is very, the dialogue is very much around control. So even though outwardly I was like, Yeah, this is perfect. I'm surrendering internally, there was like a, alright, yeah, this is what we should be doing. This is what we shouldn't. Okay, now it's okay. And I just had to keep that that that part of me looked after. And like yeah, like I said, the the entity had its own heartbeat and the men that wanted to play music and jam with jam and the guys that wanted to learn about jujitsu. It's like, oh, all of a sudden we have a whole heap of incredible, like some of the facilitators and some of the guys that attended were all incredible. Athletes in jujitsu, so they were rolling, and then there's guys down in the creature's bathing as guys were kicking the soccer ball. There's other guys sitting in the shade. Some guys just sitting basking in the sun, it was all unfolding exactly as it was meant to. And yeah, I think that's, that's the magic, the moments in between. Yeah. And it was so yeah, it was just, it was just an incredible experience, not only to, to, to lead, like to truly like activating lead that and create that from my, from my own call, but to actually be a part of, to know, there wasn't, there was no way on earth that I could have ran that as an individual. I had to run that alongside men that I trust. Yeah. And that was that was so beautiful to witness you. You know, lean on men and call on men to support you in that and even to have your dollar you sharing the stories of your dad being there? And like, yeah, like, three of your best friends like being on support crew, and just like having the best time ever, alongside your dad, like sci fi can special? Yeah. And do you want to tell the story of the shed? No, I will say that, well, that's gonna come out the content, okay, record all that. What, what I will say about that is having my dad that put me at an edge when in that in the facilitation role that I had. So knowing that my dad was there, meant that I had to embody who I truly was even when he was watching. So there was a part of me that wanted to withhold or hold back my my spiritual side or hold back the, the passion that I have, or maybe just temper myself a little bit, so I didn't burn too brightly. But that's how I would normally be around my family tempered tempered Yeah, or I'd play up a certain role or I'd be I'd be something that I'm not in this was actually an opportunity for my father to watch me do what I can do. Even if he doesn't fully understand it, even if it doesn't fully make sense to him. But it was awesome to have him there and still be able to hold my hold my center. Oh my god, so if I can beautiful. Yeah. I can't wait to talk to him about it. Yeah, it'd be really good. Yeah. And it's great. Like, you know, he, what I loved most about it. I loved everything about it. But there's a few other little things like the way that it started to become this without even people realizing they're like, oh, yeah, I'll be back next year. Yeah, I'm gonna bring my, I'm gonna bring my dad next year. Oh, I'm gonna remind all these guys like, Yeah, I'm gonna bring my dad next year, I'm gonna I've got my brother that I'm going to bring next year. So it started become this place where men could come and do this work. So none of them know that I've already got the landing page, everything's set up and the dates everything's set up for next year. Now, I didn't tell any of the guys that but they're all already setting their their intentions for Teague on 2024. Which is cool. And even, you know, Jackie being one of my best bros, and Pete and Geordi, the three best friends. They they're all speaking like, yeah, next year, we'll like we got heaps of ideas about how we can like do this better. And that dad's like, yeah, we'll we'll get we'll get a couple of cows and we'll we'll actually bring them up. Because if we're gonna have 300 Men next year, we'll need a bit more and we'll make sure we have all that ready to go. And like these guys were, we're taking ownership of a role within the entity that I didn't even assign or expect from them. So it was really, really cool to see how, whilst my vision is my vision, it's really cool to see other people find meaning within the creation without me having to ask any of them. Yeah. Yeah, your leadership is just insane. And the way you've held like, you're an audacious motherfucker. Yeah, like this was it was always gonna be like, even three years ago, you were like, I'm gonna have how many men? 1000 was a 5000. I'm gonna have 5000 men in the middle of Australia for a retreat. You started talking about that vision? Probably three years ago. Yeah. And you know, you just held a retreat of 150 men, which is so fucking huge. But that's really only just a stepping stone towards what you're really here to create. So the Yeah, the audacity you have in the boldness you have to, and to be like, Ah, I'm still a very far way away from 5000 men, but fuck yeah, I've had 150 men and this is powerful. And this is like, you're there for the journey as well. Um, 2% of the way yeah. That's what I was. Like, I'm I'm over 2% Over 2% of the way to my my vision, but Yeah, us such you Yeah, that I've learned so much from you in that you're just like, and you're not, because that's one of my deepest wounds is failing. Or this like fear of failure, and like this part of me that thinks I have to get it right to do something where you, you're just so like that it's, let's bring it back to what we're talking about before in relationship, you are so available and ready to risk at all. And that is both scary and so beautiful to watch. There's an element of recklessness to it, that I'm definitely learning to temper more and more, but that like that, like, the way that I see, Vault like vulnerability is reckless to the mind. Like Love is reckless to a mind that wants things to wants things to go its own way. Yeah, anything that is anything that is new is reckless. Anything that is outside of the known can be seen as reckless if you choose to see risk as a as a as a bad thing. Yeah, yeah. I don't see you as reckless. No, but there is a recklessness to to like there is there is a thread of record, it has to be reckless. Because if you're willing to fail, then you're willing to risk something that you have already so there's, there's a thing you're willing to lose something that you've you've developed like, yes, and you're willing to have it not make sense. I think that's breakfast as well that like we live in a world that express expects everything to be said logical and like make sure you have a plan and everything has to make sense. And is it gonna you know, where you? You hate you don't give us it back? Yeah, about that. I Yeah. And I just don't really Yeah, I don't really, really don't care. I love it. And it's the things that for me, it was it was however, that's where communication is key. Like some guys have come through things making sense. Yeah. I grew up with not really anything making sense. I never grew up in I didn't grow up in a lot of structure. That made sense. Yeah. And I've always been a little bit sort of visionary or I would say as a young child is very fantasy driven like a lot of my I was very imagination was like my fate like I just always always in my imagination. And all through school, I never really developed in that strong intellectual capacity for for following rules. I wasn't a rule breaker. But I definitely didn't like following. I wasn't good at getting good marks. I wasn't good at like, figuring out how to win in the system. Yeah. So the other thing that I realized during Teagan was like, Ah, I have to, for me to step out of like my facilitation role and start to begin to teach this work and like actually support the other leaders to understand. I'm being initiated again into this new role of like, well, you can do it, you can lead it, but can you actually teach another person to lead it because that's a whole nother level of embodiment. So right now, that's what I'm sitting with. And like, we're obviously going to celebrate this weekend because it's our one year anniversary. Oh, my God. And then yeah, next week, I want to sit down and like just be really brutally honest with myself where my recklessness or where my audacity was lending itself to recklessness more than it was actual inspiration. Yeah. What's that? What's the what was that? I didn't really get what you just said, oh, like when there was points for me. And I think this is like also important in I think I've done this in relationship as well where I've been audacious. But there has been a slight recklessness to it a little bit of ignorance. And sometimes when I know something, I can rush into it without actually communicating to the parties who are involved. Yeah. So like the next level of leadership. I think this is important in relationship as well, too. If you're wanting to, like for instance, if I want to take you away and do something, and I don't tell you anything, and I just come in and abruptly interrupt you in the middle of the dance or get in the car, we're going without actually like communicating or providing context and creating mystery and creating some understanding about what could potentially happen. And then being like, just surrender. You're not surrendering enough. You actually like my nervous system feel so unsafe. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So that for me is really, really where my next level of leadership is going to, I believe come online is like, Yes, I can be audacious Yes, I can trust myself deeply. But can I actually build the context and the systems for that to be applied? So I can apply it in a way that I don't actually have to be leading the actual thing? So yeah, all in all, feeling fucking exhausted, feeling excited, feeling feeling ready for a solid? Couple of days rest? And then some will not be rest I'm gonna come out of this weekend more exhausted than the one just got revitalized, revitalized. I had a dude in me know you're gonna drink from the well of my deep feminine. I am nourishment. Oh, yeah. nourish me, or do I drain you? You are you my love? You're all of it. Yeah, like Jacob said, it's our one year wedding anniversary this weekend. So we've booked a weekend away. Yeah. Let's get it. Let's get it. Oh, I'd like to start the podcast. If you're into that. Yeah. Would you be open to that? I would love that. I'd love to talk about how. And we've spoken about this. So I'm just framing it for all you guys listening? How important that is for us to have time apart. Yes, yeah. I really think that's such an important important piece to speak about because yeah, what happened over the weekend with 150 men being away from their partners for for four days, what really came online was this, this new level of devotion to who they were were returning home to at a lot of men spoke about how they couldn't wait to come home, be a better husband come home and be a better partner come home and be a better father come home and make changes in their in their personal life that would influence their physical health influenced their mental health influenced their careers, there was so many men that were returning home revitalized with a renewed sense of devotion to who or what it was that they were returning to you. And that just like rang true for me how important it is to take time away from not only your life, but from your relationship. And really just like you understand who you are again, so you can re return and give more from a place of no expectation. Yeah. And I think I think of like esta pearls work speaks really powerfully to this. But like, one of the one of the challenges of modern day relationships is that we do we live in a very intimate way. Like we're no longer living in community or in tribes. It's like, okay, you're my person, let's live in a house, just you and me. Let's create a family just you and me. And there is so much expectation on that one person. Like if when we were living in community living in tribes, that one person was our lover, and potentially the father of our children. But they, you know, every other role was kind of shared amongst the community even even the child rearing and like the everything it was it was all shared amongst the community. So Esther Perel teaches that a lot that that speaks on this a lot that that, like, the structure of the way we do relationships now can create so much pressure. And yeah, actually, it's this is this quote based for I'll probably put in the show notes, but she speaks about, like, the best the, what we do actually crave in terms of a thriving relationship is this, this combination of safety and certainty, but also spontaneity, and, you know, adventure adventure. And so, you know, that that create, that I think necessitates space, you know, when we're all up in each other's grill all the time. We're actually yeah, we're only feeling that level of if there's so much safety so much certainty so much almost like monotony. We're not actually being fed in that like, oh, Adventurer, spontaneity space. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, like you. I feel that familiarity can become can lead to boredom. Yeah, yeah. In the relationship, even in just the in all areas. And this is something that for me, for you to bring Yunus to your relationship. You must be like finding newness in in your own life in your own practices. Yes. And yeah, like the weekend just gone even though I was facilitating in like, a probably did. Yeah, I felt like I didn't, I didn't I probably did like 150 hours working. In five days. I felt like I was on 2424 hours a day. The separateness that was created between you and I and the bonds that I created with other men and just like being around other men and feeling that that nourishment from from Oh, pardon me from the land allowed. allowed me to yarn allowed me to like feel you like feel you calling me I felt like I need to feel my relationship. Keep calling me home and it's like ah I want to get home to I want to be present with her I want her to dance naked on on the kitchen bench when I get home I want her to I want her to be like I want to I want to be smothered by her Yeah, and be drenched, drenched. Something were really good at when we do have space like so if you go away or I go away is that we don't like message each other at all. No, I miss it. Well, we message once the first day you are gone. Because I helped. I went and grabbed some things for the retreat. And then I message you on the final night just to check in if you needed me That was hot. Yeah, send a nude. But like, I think that were really fucking good at that. And I think that when we do have space, it feels like space space. Even when you've gone home to we will before for like a week or like 10 days or something. You know, we're not. We know text. We're not texters. I think that's where what you're feeling your time, like when you're when you're physically separate. What are you choosing to do? That's an important piece. Yeah, that for me is like, Oh, if your partner is going to do something, on a Wednesday night, what are you going to do that Wednesday night, you're gonna sit there and think about what she's doing? Are you actually going to find something that fulfills you in that space? Make use of that? Yes. And giving, I think this is the way we've really begun to see or for years seem like separate and separate time is, especially when we like go away from each other is like, I'm gonna respect his or her space. I'm gonna like, really give this is how I see it when you go away, like even on the weekend. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna really respect that experience for him. And like, respect that space and honor that time and not try and like, weave my way into that time. Definitely, definitely. Yeah, the other thing that I realized over the week, I had some really great chats with some guys around like doing something for yourself, and how it's really easy to when the relationship becomes the primary focus. To almost see yourself as a couple and not as individuals it can become quite like Yeah, ah, it's Megan, Jacob, Megan, Jacob, Megan, Jacob, Jacob and Meg, Jacob. And may Jake with Megan is like, hang on, like, where are we? Where are we not allowing space for us to like, come back together and with with aliveness? And like alpha? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And that's so challenging. Because that's probably been one of my biggest challenge is that I, I love hanging out with you so much, that it can be challenging to choose other people. Yeah. And I love and that has been a pattern in our relationship where it will take you choosing yourself for me to choose space for me or for me to choose going and hanging out with someone. Yes. And that's kind of confronting to be with. But every time I do do that, and in probably actually the last like, month and a half, I have been like so devoted to, you know, being out in the world, choosing my friends, like really, you know, showing up and choosing things outside of our relationship. And I felt so fucking alive and so fucking turned on. But I think that is that's always the challenge of being so deeply in love and getting along so well with with your partner and enjoying that time together. Totally that you can just like sink into that that comfortability and the feminine core like for desire the feminine is connection. Yeah. So like, and you will want to connect with the thing that takes you to the most depth, which is hopefully your intimate relationship. Yeah. So for you, that's, that's your primary driver that yet time with you, I want that. Whereas the masculine core is that desire for freedom, which really is the freedom from responsibility. So the freedom to do whatever you whatever the fuck you want. So it can be quite a confronting thing, like you said, for me to choose myself, go and do what I'm doing and then for you to have this space, and be aware of like, Oh, what am I choosing for myself? Yeah, but then this weekend, you being away i i was like, I had three sleepovers. I was like a teenager it was the best thing ever slept on our friends easy task, because it was your birthday then slipped at a friend's Jesse Sasse with another few women. Yeah. And that just like that was such a reminder of like, wow, like, yeah, again, connections outside of the relationship fill me or I just yeah, that energetic, that. I think this is something that needs to be so cultivated in a long term relationship, and especially when you're potentially living with your partner work. And from home, like we work from home, we work together, sometimes we live like we're in each other's space and energy fields a lot. So this separation of like, I'm not even in your field for four or five days, and who am I, when you're not around? And not from this thing of like, are suddenly I don't have to contort myself or be who you need me to be. But no, like, what flavors of myself come alive when I'm not in the presence of you. And that's not in a bad thing. That's just like the truth. So when we're around certain people when other people aren't around, that's not us not being our true self. It's just different flavors come alive. So yeah, I think that's so fucking important. So fucking important. And what conversations do you get to have? Yeah, this is like, important for me. It's like, I want to talk about certain things. And those things don't necessarily, you can't meet me with the same level of enthusiasm is some as another man who has a similar interest to me. So it happens every time. jujitsu like I can't talk to you about jujitsu at the depth. I want to Yeah, because you just aren't passionate about it. And that's okay. Yeah. But if I'm always spending time with you, and I'm never getting the chance to sit down and chat, you know, like I said, there was like, Lindsey rib Pete, a few other guys were there. And like, we're all just talking about jujitsu. And it's as if it's like, oh, I just want to talk about this forever. Yeah. And I just get lost in a topic and getting to like, chat about it. Like, I could never have had that experience with you. And to expect you to give me that is crazy. Yeah. So by us having that space, I got to fill my cup in a way that now takes any expectation off of you. So when I come back to you, I'm filled in that department. Which means that I just want you for you. I want you as my lover. Yes. As my little dirty, dirty housewife. Oh, sloth. Can we say that on on podcast slot? Yeah. We can say anything. You can say anything, go for it. No rules. What do you want to say? No. No way. No, wow, follow the rules. Don't cancel me. But yeah, at least one of us is gonna be canceled. Definitely Fucking Jesus. But that's like, like, I this is something that I think is so important for people to understand. If you want a deeper relationship with your partner, if you feel there's some, some, there's a lack of depth or a lack of attraction, or there's something that's fizzled out, or you're missing a key ingredient. Quite often, it may be that you have unmet desires, that waiting to be met outside of your relationship. Yes, and it's not use it before we hit record, we were talking about, like, depth isn't necessarily the portal to more depth and intimacy in relationship isn't necessarily more time together. Yeah, yes, it could be quality, more quality time together. But, you know, we sometimes will be in the house together. And for a week, we haven't spent with with sleeping beside each other where, you know, a room apart with like, you know, we're very accessible to each other. Yes, days and days and days on ends. And that doesn't necessarily mean like, we feel deeply, intimately connected, and that we want to fuck each other. And every moment, actually, it's when one of us take like, when we have days where you just leave the house and go into your thing, or when I just leave the house and do our thing. That's the days where we feel most alive and most connected when we come back together. Yes. And, again, not saying that you can't work with your partner or be in each other's space, but it's about like bringing this level of consciousness and like when things do feel a bit stagnant, or when things do just feel maybe when there isn't that attraction there. Right when things feel like depolarized like there's just not that like magnetism this could be a really beautiful sign to just like take a day apart and you can you can play with it like years ago when we you first stopped working and we were at home a lot more together. We decided we were really beginning to feel that and we decided we called it single Saturdays. I was out I was fuck other people. No, but he was just like today it's literally like we're not in a relationship like yeah, we do not get access to each other and you used to do your men's weekly connection well that's one screw up on this Saturday was kind of what like I was like, I want to spend more time with man I want to be like, I want to just do something that I love to do. And just to backtrack shortly like we started to do we were doing a lot of stuff together. Yeah, I can I I want to say this as gently as possible. Say this gently as possible and then say it is not as gently as possible. So we were finding ways to like do things together. That were fun. But maybe we were doing them together in a way that didn't allow us to fully fully experience the thing that we wanted. Yeah. Like, I wanted you to come to yoga class. And it's like, Hey, man, that's not his thing. Just go to your own fucking Yeah, you got to maybe come to me yoga class like a few times a year. But your boyfriend isn't meant to come to you. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't really I when I'm there, and I do a yoga class. Love it. Yeah. But is that what I want to spend an hour doing? If you gave me an hour? Yeah. I don't want to do it. Yeah. What is more powerful fly relationship is not hey, come to a yoga class with me every week. It's like, actually, I'll go to yoga. You go to jujitsu and let's come home. And God is way better for our relationship, isn't it? Isn't it and the other one was surfing that I found we did earlier on. Oh, you don't want me Lucky, lucky a good stepping injuries and I'm scared of going in the ocean. I love I love those mornings where we'd go and do surf flow attack. Yeah, I love that. But then I'd want to go surfing on my own. It was kind of like surfing now our thing that we do together, but because we're at sort of different skill levels, not saying that I'm an incredible surfer by any means. I'm just measures really shit. I got Okay, now you I celebrate your I commend you. You did fucking well. Yeah. Like I still I will sell out. I still think you're incredible at having a solid crack at things that many women would never do. But I guys, I stopped surfing because we're out of barely point one day and I was like, Oh, you're barely going. Yeah. And I was surfing. And then some men surfboard, like the tip. The point that was called, literally hit me in the tailbone. I don't have much. So it just went straight. It's just like, it's a lot of access. Yeah. And it hit me right in the tailbone. You, you. I couldn't see it for like weeks. And then the next time I went stuffing my own board hit me in the head. And I was like, I'm out. And yeah, but what happened was because we did serve flow together, and we would like the yoga flow, then a surf and then coffee with TAC, which was awesome. But then every time I wanted to go surfing, like your ears prick up or you're like, Oh, we going surfing, that's an aspect. But then what would happen would be like, there would be you'd have to do everything. Yeah, I'd have to pack an extra board, I then have to make sure there's two towers that'd be capable about like, surfing was an outlet for me and then became a job, yes. But also then when we get surfing, you know, if you were cold, we're going to have to go, you'd have to get home quicker, or if you have to surf was a bit big. And I'd have to say close to you. And I'd have to just by by my biological makeup, I'd be thinking about you, I bet I've got to make sure that it makes safe. Whereas when I go surfing with just a couple of mates. I don't have to think about them. And yeah, I really see that like it used to be this thing where it's like, this is actually me in the ocean and I am free of all responsibility. Yeah. And then when I want to come it's like Oh, actually, I feel really responsible while I'm trying to get the freedom. Yeah, I'm trying to like have Yeah, like feel my carpet. Yeah, it's actually really fucking draining. I don't want to fucking be here anymore. Lucky, I was telling you this. Only recently, I was like, I want to surf again this summer. Silently, you're like fuck snowboards broke sabotage. We don't have any wax. But in saying that like that, like, that example is like, if the waves like, I still would enjoy going for a surf with you. For sure. 100%. But if I had to go surfing with you, every time I went surfing, that's a different thing. So that's a really key piece that I wanted to say is like, I'd still love to go and catch a few waves with you at the I'd love that. Like I want to do that with you and do that with our kids and all that sort of stuff in the future. But if I had to, if I had if that if surfing then every time I went surfing, I had to also take you with me. I would stop surfing. Yes. Yeah. Cuz it wouldn't. It wouldn't give me the feeling that I'm looking for anymore. I'd find another sport. jujitsu. Yeah. And then I'd probably wouldn't enjoy jujitsu. You told me you wanted to come. You just wanted to I just wanted to watch you do it. I just want to watch you in the class. Did me because every time even like when you do something to me, and I'll be like, Oh, and you weren't even like touching me. Like I would just be so vocal. Yeah, I would be so vocal. I'd be like No. Stop I apologize for my coughing everyone. So we were talking about single Saturday. Yeah, and I think this is something that I have learned to really practice. And this is, you know, for both men and women, but I really think if we're looking at it from the perspective of a man does feel his cup from that, like, more traditional more Yeah, more often from things that where he does not have to hold that hold that pole or hold that kind of. Yeah, Paul have responsibility. Yeah. So learning to like really respect that and not take that personally as a woman, and see that as being of service to you and your relationship like this is actually him choosing things that do not involve you, and have nothing to do with you and potentially that you do not understand. Like, that's not a bad thing in a relationship. That's actually a really glorious thing. And I want you because this was, we weren't always relating in this way. Like, definitely probably the first four years of our relationship. My perspective was, you need to love everything that I love. Like I was vegetarian, you knew that you became vegetarian. I was such a little bit you were a little bit a little far in saying that I would smash meat when I'd go out. Fuck yeah, but but then when I didn't tell you to become vegetarian, it was just like, energetically, it was just an unspoken expectation. Yeah. But I was vegetarian and you were Vegetto. And like, that was for me, all of those things. And then when you'd come to yoga class and when you do all these things that I liked when you joined my network marketing business, for me, that was all like, look at what a great relationship we have because we are merging into one gig and we have all the same likes and dislike intimate codependency. And yes, I believe in terms of the merging, like there is a merging I don't believe in like, yet, energetically and spiritually, I believe we are deeply merged. Yeah. And there is this deep union. And that does not it's, it's a feeling not a form, right? It's not this man needs to love everything that I love. And value value, everything I value. Yes. Well, not everything, but we have to share similar values. But in terms of like, the things we lack and the things we do with our time they they don't have to be the same and in fact, when they're different. It's really fucking hot and it creates like a real polarization in the relationship. Yes, yes, of course. Like oh, I think back to that time when I was like, I don't even really like I don't like vegetarian food that much. Like I don't I don't like yoga that much either anymore. And I didn't like I don't like some of the shit you liked. And it's not to say that what you like is wrong. It's just that I don't like it. You hate I love Melissa McCarthy. McCarthy movies I don't even really like comedy movies that much. I like action movies that are specifically orchestrate the four archetypes. Yeah, that are very much the hero's journey, and I love them and guess what? You don't really like them at all. You don't like them at all. And that's okay. But for me the other thing I really yeah I really think is important. Around this is and you can swing the pendulum too hard. Yes. So you say like yeah, Jacob little vegetarian soy boy. Down to yoga joining Meg's business quitting his job doing all this dumbest fuck shit. Fuck. That was an initiation. I didn't know. Yeah, if anyone was to where we are now, if anyone everyone's got this soy boy era if any man out there is going through the the throes of loving a powerful in inspiring driven woman who knows what the fuck knows what the fuck she wants, send me a message. Work with me for three months. And let me save you fucking three or four years of just fucking like of figuring it out on your own and over neutralizing your relationship neutralizing your relationship. I'm not saying that. There was times where Yeah, our relationship was completely neutralized. And we went through periods of that everything's perfectly remained exactly the way it was meant to. But if you ask someone who, who would like support in that realm, please reach out to me because I believe if you spend three months with me and I can apply what I've learned, just share some fucking stories. So you know, you're not alone. Yeah. And know that you do have you know, it's okay to have your own desires. It can save you a lot of a lot of a lot of turmoil, a lot of inner conflict, a lot of Yeah, checking out because I know for me, I I had to go through that. But at the same time, I can see where I perpetuated some of my own suffering by not actually taking a good hard look at myself in there and saying, What the fuck do you actually want out of life? Jacob? Yeah, yeah. And I think one of the big you go, this was not only in my relationship, this was also very much in my career as well. Like I was building a platform, an online platform for the plumbing industry that I did not really want to do, but I kept forcing myself because I told myself that that's what I do. Yeah. Because that's what I said I would do. And this is about yeah, there's so many ways that this this style of, you know, whatever my partner wants I want as well can leach out into, you know, all aspects of life. Yeah. And what became, you know, we've spoken about this a lot in terms of our relationship here on the podcast around like, yeah, you're going from soy boy. Nice guy to Big Daddy. To Big Daddy is Oh, you just that's the first thing that you want me to call you. Big Daddy. I'm not a real like you. I don't do that play. Do we know? What are you gonna call me? Mommy? That'll do. Mommy. Call me Captain. Captain. We can play with Big Daddy. We can I'm not into that. I respect people that are love it. But it's just not not your style. No, not yet. Anyway, when you something that was really powerful in this like transition was you really seeing that and owning that like even we've spoken about this before. But even when you go to when I'm like, don't go to jujitsu stay at home with me. Like, oh, like you know that you need jujitsu to come back and be the man you want to be for me and our relationship? Right? So you're really clear on that. And the way you hold that, like, you're not suddenly like, Oh, no. Am I doing something that is upsetting her? Or no, should I stay? Like, you're really clear on hey, my love, I love feeling that you need me and you want me but I'm going to jujitsu and I can't wait to get home and like, you know, whatever. But you really, I think as as, as women, it's so important that we respect. And again, this can be vice versa. But let's just use this example, that we respect. Our men choosing things outside of what we think they should be doing. Or outside of things that we enjoy, and letting them go and explore their things. This could literally be fucking gaming. Like, like if your partner really fucking loves to game, but you don't? Can you let him just like have his hobbies time gaming? And really like, what are you looking at? Do you didn't believe that? Oh, I do. I do. Every man has this thing. I just have a thing about gaming. I'm a bit funny about it. But that's my own projection. Like, yeah, you're so right. If if he's thing is gaming, that's what he loves. Yeah. And like, respect that, you know, he gets filled up from gaming, and then he comes and you just like, really let him have that. And even though you don't understand it, like maybe he's meeting FUCKING GOD while he's gaming. Right? Maybe that's his maybe that's his spiritual practice. Yeah, we don't fucking know. Like, right to be because that's the thing I used to hold this like hierarchy of like, you must come to yoga, because that is spiritual. And that is, that is what's right. Yeah. And you don't go and do all these other things like this is low vibrational practices. Yeah. But can we actually just like trust that our partner, you know, has their own things? And, yeah, but then as a man, can you really, like trust yourself in choosing those things and owning those things and prioritizing those things, knowing that that's going to serve the relationship 100. And you said about before about the pendulum swing, but I don't think you really went into the pedal on the other direction. Yeah, it's like, okay, you know, you know, like I said, I was doing everything that served you and our relationship and that neutralized the, the attraction, I became this, just this plush, soft, cuddly toy. And in that, what can happen is you can swing the pendulum and you go from being that to never actually doing anything with your partner, and just like going, Hey, I don't do anything with you, you know, we're in a relationship, I'm gonna go and do this for me because it's, I need to do this for us, because this is where I'm going with my vision, and I'm gonna get to the mountaintop so I can provide and protect and all this other rah rah rah bullshit, which is kind of like the movement that Andrew Tate and some of these other guys are driving, it's like, you know, just like monk mode, it's like, you have to just go and work on your business and only do this and cut women out of your life and just find your three mates and just do everything with them. And the the irony of that is that you miss out on the beauty of actually applying of like meeting the new like, each version of yourself as you grow in your relationship as well. Yeah. So whilst rather than me going, Hey, I'm never doing anything with you ever again for the next five years, because I've done everything with you for the last five years. I need to settle the score. It's like hey, how about I just bring some more harmony to what to this actual beautiful life that I already have? So that's When we introduced single Saturdays, single Saturdays we did. And part of single Saturdays was Jacob, we'd go to men's weekly connection, the men's group that he held. And then we would literally just spend the rest of the day apart. And the rule was, it was literally like the other person didn't exist. So like, even if I was like, at home, and, you know, I knew he was near the shops, and we needed something, I was not allowed to message him. Like, it was just like, fend for your fucking self all day. And so not No, no, like, Hey, can you grab this? Or? Or can I ask you this question? It was like, we were completely unavailable to each other for a day. And, you know, that was so fucking powerful. And I think, you know, I know a lot of listeners, you have children, and maybe you know, a whole day isn't available for you. But maybe it's like, an hour or two hours where you really and this again, this isn't just, this is for both of you? Can you set it up where there's like time where your man just gets to be responsibility free for two hours? And you don't get to ask him a question or don't get to have any access to him. And then vice versa, is there a way in which you can, you know, prioritize or make it work, and, you know, like this, you get to work this in to what works for your life? Right? And depends, you might be in a season with young kids where it's, you know, half an hour, and then you can work up to having a day or like, a few days, or whatever it might be. And if you don't prioritize it, you'll end up resenting the thing that you chose later on. Oh, what do you mean by that? I don't have kids. And I can't speak from that powerful place. But I've seen people that they, they, they, they don't give themselves that half an hour, they convince themselves that half an hour is not available, which for me is just the inability to receive support, which is why it's so great to have a community or network that you can receive that support from and if you don't have that, then set the intention to call that in. Like this isn't a okay, I haven't got it, I'm going to have it tomorrow, you have to allow the unfolding. But for me, what I found is that yeah, a lot of people that do struggle to take time for themselves end up resenting the thing that they they choose over themselves, even if it's just slightly, even if it's just slightly. So I can't speak as a parent, because I'm not one. And I don't know what that that's like. But I also know that there is a way to choose yourself, even if it is for go and have go down to the coffee shop, order your coffee and scroll on your phone for five minutes as an individual without the pressures of parenthood. And maybe, I don't know, maybe you can all tell me to fuck off when when I have kids off, I can be. I'll be saying sorry. I don't think I will. Because I truly believe in this work. I truly believe that there's a way for this to work. And yeah, we have, you know, we have the ability to call in community if we choose it. And like I said, even for me with the gathering of man, I had to let in the support to create that that movement, I had to I had to create that experience. Similarly, when we have responsibilities as parents, or lovers or caregivers, or whatever it is, we have to learn how to receive support. And like that single Saturdays for us was learning how to not only ask for what we wanted, but give ourselves the space to receive from outside sources. Yeah. And I think there has to be this. Yeah, really, you know, with kids or without kids, this is really about you being in conversation with your partner and being like, okay. Like, if we were to create more space, or does the idea of like, you can even bring this conversation. And I think what, this is how this started for us, we were just like, I think I asked you like would it feel really good? I think you were really loving men's weekly connection. And I was like, oh, would it feel really good if we just didn't speak to each other for for an entire day? I might have said yes. A little secret. And that could be something you ask your partner like again, one one thing was so devoted to in our own relationship and here on the podcast is consistently showing up and asking our partner like, is like how can I love you better? Is there any ways in which I can love you better and this could potentially be a way that you could love your partner better but you haven't brought into the equation yet? So what I say before before tea on how you could love me better Liz fucker out off, just leave me alone. Yeah. He didn't say fuck right off. But that's how it's really challenged by Yeah, you definitely. You did so well. But that's like for me this is you, you don't understand the benefit until you come back together. Yeah, so this can be edgy for people. And I know there's a lot I know all the different attachment styles and all these different formulas and things that we diagnose ourselves with as to how we show up in relationships. But when we create some space, we start to remember who we are we started to get in touch with a part of ourselves that may have been laying dormant after Putting all the pressure on our partner to be Oh, everything. I know we've done that many, many times, both ways. When we do take that space, we remember who we are, we remember what our vision for life is. And then we can bring that back to the relationship. Yeah. So for me, it's like, oh, wow, like you've got this beautiful sisterhood right now. And it's like, Oh, how cool is it gonna be when we have a baby, and you've got all these women around you that wanted love and support you? And I don't have to feel the burden of being the only thing in your corner supporting even though I will Yeah. How cool is it to know that we've got your you have. So therefore, we have this beautiful community of women who are going to love and support you through that initiation? Yeah. Women who have had babies, so I don't know what it's like, I never will because I'm a man, but you've got to have these women that can support you. And same with me, I've got men in my life that I know will support me and, and guide me and look after me as well. So for me, this is the piece. Sorry, the the practice of spending time apart allows you to create relationships with other people that can then support the union that you have with your partner. Definitely, and the seasons of life that you go through with your partner. Definitely let alone the actual coming back together and feeling that aliveness like I remember coming back out to Saturday mornings, and hanging out with guys for a couple of hours and coming back and be like, I'm ready. I'm ready for you. I want you. And then that get and I really invite Yeah, everyone listening if you were in a long term relationship, like if you were leaving with your partner, husband, wife, whatever. Like, please stop playing with this. And maybe this is like, I'm, maybe this is like, sleeping apart one night, and being like, oh, okay, we're actually she's gonna sleep in separate bedrooms. And when Allah, we're not talking to each other from 7pm till 7am. Like, play a game with it. You can be in the house, maybe it's like, okay, and we've done this before, like, work together. And sometimes during the day, I will think because you're in the house, you're available to me. So then we play a game of like, okay, we're not allowed to talk to each other today. Maybe we can touch as we walk past each other. Oh, maybe not maybe like, but just playing with how do we create this like space and almost like unavailability? Yeah. That one unavailability so that it creates a longing and it creates this like, Oh, my shin, it creates this tension. So maybe, and again, this is going to depend on your lifestyle. This is going to depend if you know what kind of responsibilities you share with your partner or your Yeah, your your beloved. But yeah, this could be like, Okay, we're not talking to each other for an entire day. We're not sending each other texts, when a lot of touch a look at each other or talk while we're in the house. You know, for a day. Yeah. Or we're actually each going to have a weekend like away separately and just be in our own space, but you get to choose, but I really invite you to speak to your partner and like make this a fun game of like, okay, we're totally unavailable to each other for this amount of time. Oh no, no, that's, that's such a turn on to me. Even when we do this around the house, and it's suddenly like, Oh, you're in the other room. But I'm, I'm not allowed to talk to you. I'm not allowed touching like, oh, bah, bah, now I really want to talk to you what I really want to touch you. You know me? I know a very small amount of clothes on walking around trying to get my attention. No, you do. The beauty of this really is like understanding like this is a form of like creating polarity. Yeah, it is really, rather than trying to enforce polarity on each other or force like your masculine or your feminine on each other. It's just creating enough space for you to like deepen into your own core essence. So like when I feel I have the space throughout the day where I'm say, Hey, you're not allowed to talk to me. And I go in, I actually get the work done that I want to get done. And I come out of my office at whatever time it is four or five, six, and I come out. I'm there the quality the texture of my presence is fucking is felt. It's like I'm here with you. Now I'm ready for I'm ready to be with you. But if I've got you knocking on my door every five minutes or I'm constantly coming in to touch you every five minutes throughout the day at 6pm. I'm like, I don't want to be near you. I've seen you I've touched you. We've been we've been dialogue all day. So it's diluted the potency of our connection, because we're relight we're creating that throughout the day in a way that isn't actually serving the depth of our our attraction, the depth of our passion. Yeah. So don't ever talk to me through the day is what I'm saying. Yeah, okay. No, but I do want to this is such a beautiful reminder of I want to bring this into our working out working days, and I want to hear how you guys are doing this too. So, yeah. Is it that you're having a day apart? Once a week? Is it that you're just like, oh my gosh, you're in the home. But you're not talking to each other. Maybe this is one night a week where you just like, we don't talk. Yeah, even if like, this is the other, like, not everyone works from home together, either. So just putting this out there as like, if your partner works, as you know, works at an office or in a worksite. Or, or you both work out of the house, rather than texting each other through the daycare and just like, wonder about what they're doing. Yeah, think about them. Go and do something, you know, don't text them on your lunch break. Just let that separation. Let that tension build, like, oh, I want to tell him. Oh, I just saw a magpie. I want to tell him about the fact that I saw a magpie or I just, I just need to tell him, I'll just bring him on. A Magpie is that, like, you'll ring me on the way home from places sometimes I'm like, Oh, you're coming home to see me. Yeah. Why are you ringing me? Yeah. So can you Oh, like, if you're on your lunch, break ground and texting your partner what you're having for lunch? Can you wait and actually share that? In the evening? And this isn't all the time. This is just like, can you play with this and see how this shifts the dynamics of your relationship? Can you see how this might create a deeper yearning or a deeper magnetism? Yes, yeah. Okay. Anything else you want to bring? Just to probably recap, with the pendulum swing is like, Hey, we've spoken about this idea of single Saturdays like, and really what it was, I was like, I'd take four to six hours a week for myself. That was my, my commitment to myself. And then it became this beautiful practice that Megan I had, what also what I also want you to understand, especially for anyone listening, it's not about just then greet taking all of your time back and then saying, This is mine. I'm not gonna give any of it to you. Yeah, we created that, which allowed me to fill my cup. And then I was like, Okay, how do we want to actually spend time together intentionally as lovers? Because there's a lot of fill time you know, where you sleep in the same bed? Maybe you guys both work from home or you sit down, have dinner together? But where are you creating intentional time for the relationship? Just as you create intentional time for yourself? Yes. So that's a really important, that's a really important thing. And the way that I do that, is I look at what are my desires, my individual desires, what makes individual desires, and then what are our relationship desires. So Maggie's desires, yoga, she's doing a stripper course at the moment. I've got jujitsu, I like to go surfing. And then there's this thing in between us, which is like, our relationship desires, what is what do we desire to experience together? And then that's where we get to sit down, and actually have a conversation about that, but like, and that's what we've really been reinstating over the last little while is like finding those things that we love to do individually, and then allowing our cups to overflow. So when we come together, we're just like, ready? We're excited to do things together. Whether it's just dance in the kitchen, whether it's to go for a walk, whether it's like going away this weekend for our anniversary, we create these beautiful pockets of time that allow us to bask in each other's aliveness. Each other's turn on. Yeah, yeah, space creates such tan on Spaces sexy. I've been very turned on. I've been just wanting to touch you all the time. This is what I'm doing. Oh, yes, I'm away. Yes. Six days apart. Yeah. Okay. How do we feel? I feel great. How do you feel? I feel complete. I'm pretty exhausted. Yeah, yeah. I kinda like my the sound of my voice right now. I cut it. I want to get back to what it was. Maybe it won't go back. Maybe this is who I am now. Yeah. This is Heelan. This is this is me. Here I am. Is there anything else you want to say to the listeners right now, my love? Where are you feeling? I feel complete. I love you. I'm excited to hear how you guys integrate this practice if it feels good into your long term relationship. So hit us up on Instagram. I'd love to hear. And yeah, we got some cool shit coming soon. Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you do. And then that whole shoot coming out. So yeah, for men that are ready to Yes, stuff super accessible. I really feel this next season is going to be Yeah, I'm so excited to bring a whole lot of energy. So for all the women listening, if your partners are looking for something to dip their toes into some of this work, and be around like minded men, please, please share my page with them. And browse if you're listening like this is going to be a really great way for you to not lose yourself in personal development, but like actually just like add it to your life at it as an ingredient to your life, which is going to definitely influence your ability to show up as a lover. Your ability to show up as a leader and your ability to connect deeply with yourself. Yes, freedom, intimacy and impact. Oh, are they the pillars? Yeah. I love that. And then we have something coming? Oh, yeah, relationships in the next like month or so. But in the meantime, if you if you haven't already bought the desire date, and you haven't already experienced that if you're in partnership or you're in a lover ship, I love that word love a ship. Yes. Go and get the desired date. It's an experience we created. We actually created it for ourselves about four years ago. To, to like reignite the spark and to you know, take our sex life to the next level. We created all these prompts, and we did them separately. And then we came back together and spoke about all that answers. And it was just like, I remember why did we do it in the car? Do you remember being in the car? Yeah, we went to biscuit. Yeah. Oh, and then we were in the car, and we were continuing the conversation. And we went home and I fucked you in the eyes. Oh, that's what happened. I remember because that was we need like a buzzer every time we talked about a drinking game or something. But yeah, that like I remember because it was like, I remember being so fucking like, hungry for you. I was like, I could feel like the my I was foaming at the fucking lips. I want to go and destroy you. I want you so bad. It was like, I remember that was just the comment because we probably that really opened a doorway for our conversations around sex to to be so much more natural. Yeah, and so much more alive. Like we were happy talking about sex. But this was like, Okay, we now have permission. Yeah, like it was a little awkward and a little like, Oh, we've never spoken about these things before. But suddenly, now we have permission to really share our deepest fantasies or share the things that we might not have felt safe or ready to share before us and that did amazing fucking thing that we're still feeling the ripple of that in our in our social life and our relationship. It created this casual illness at a depth like we felt more natural, more normal to just speak at that depth. Because what was spoken when we did the desire date was shared without a field of judgment. So it just felt liberating. So I felt like the lifeforce moving through me I felt this attraction to you. So it just opened up this whole new level, yeah, for us to operate at as as, as our as our normal, so good. And so we've now bundled this up into a guided date night experience. So you've got the prompts, you don't have to do it at a cafe it's actually we've guided you to do it, you know in your own home or maybe it's you go away for the weekend and do this experience and there's some tantric practices and some really beautiful intimacy practices and it's all kind of bundled up in this beautiful experience that's designed to support you to deepen intimacy to create a deeper level of safety around bringing your desires into your partnership and being seen and being witnessed in them and then to you know, open the doorway to expand into deeper levels of your sex life and explore and play with with with new things. And also to bring the conversation in around like to create a normalcy around like Yes, I'm ready for data like thank you for sharing that but no, I'm not quite ready and yeah, Truly this this date night is it has the potential to really fucking shift a lot for your relationship and sex life and I think it's oh I'm seriously You know, I just slightly opened my legs a little and Jake his eyes just went straight if I put me anyway, I finish this otherwise, it's it's only $27 And I don't know the exact length but head to the shownotes either on Spotify or Apple or wherever you're listening to this because the link will be there. And go get yourself inside and have a sexy desire date night with your human. We love you. See, so love thy Yo yo yo, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Sex love and everything in between. Now if you'd like to stay connected with Megan i You can head on over to Instagram and follow me at the Jacob O'Neill and where can people find you lover at the dot mag dot o amazing and yeah guys check out the show notes for all other information in regards to what we've got coming up. And yeah, we're super super grateful that you guys for taking the time to listen in to this podcast. If you do have any topics or any questions like I said, hit us up on Instagram and we'll see what we can do. Apart from that have a beautiful beautiful rest of your day. Thanks for being here. Big Big Love you